CreativeDominant -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 11:15:10 AM)
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ORIGINAL: xoxi "Has now become"? Have you missed the past, oh, two thousand years? I've been here for 52 of them...~smiles~. And because it is that way for some does not make it right...or wrong. But neither does believing that it should be part of a committed relationship make those of us who believe in anything...including sex...being conditional upon a deeper relationship as not our way. Do I personally get the idea that some things come with time and a deeper understanding and caring about each other? Yes, I do. I would not expect a submissive to immediately fuck me within 10 minutes of meeting me. But then, I do not expect her to submit in any way, let alone completely, within 10 minutes of meeting me. But neither do I feel that it necessarily HAS to be that I give you my heart and soul in exchange for yours in order to get to any sort of submission or to any of the "dirty" stuff. Let's face it...the carrot that is dangled until you commit may be a carrot sorely lacking in flavor or willingness to be "cooked" in a variety of ways and in a frequent manner. Then what? Break the heart of the one you committed to because that carrot just doesn't do it for you or live the rest of your life with someone who dangled something that you thought might be worth having but in the cold light of day, really isn't? There's a line that is walked on that is different with each person we meet. quote:
You are right there are quite a few scummy pieces of shit that will lie to a girl to get in her pants. I've had it happen to me. But if I like someone I want a commitment from them. Not just sex. And if they like me back they should want one from me. Not necessarily. You can like someone deeply and yet, not want to make that commitment just yet...due to career pressures, family pressures, wanting to be cautious, not wanting to feel pressured, whatever reason. quote:
I'm not using sex as a bargaining chip to get them to commit but rather saying these are my terms, if I'm giving my body to you I want to be able to give my heart and mind as well. Because I'm one of those submitty types who wants sex to be a power exchange. Anything less than that just feels cheap. It can. And if it feels that way for you whenever that situation arises, then that is what it feels like for you. But it can feel wonderful too and the power exchange with sex included can be wonderful and not be...or become...an ongoing thing. I've played somewhat of a devil's advocate in this thread because while I do believe what I have said above, I also know that I seek a long-term relationship. I've stated on other threads that I prefer to own someone, not rent or borrow them anymore. I've stated that I wish to have a being, a partner. But, I have also stated that I have been burnt and I have lived long enough to make observations and draw conclusions about what it is that I want and like and what it is that I feel about sex. I can understand your viewpoint and still disagree with it but realize that my disagreement comes from a differing perspective and differing life experiences than yours. You have noted scummy guys who get involved with a girl just to get in her pants...I have noted girls who withhold sex until there is a commitment and then, what they have withheld wasn't all that worthy to begin with OR in some cases, once granted, it came with all kinds of other conditions.
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