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what to do???????? - 10/12/2007 8:56:34 PM

sweetcreeangel

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what do you do when you and Your Master break up and you walk away?how do you go on with your everyday life.........these are things i am asking myself since the break-up and i feel so alone with out Him in my life allow yes i know it was my choice..................any advice from you out there it is pretty personal about the break up and care not to talk about it.........just thought that i would through that in there

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/12/2007 9:23:46 PM

Kellendra

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Give yourself time....is all I can say.
*Hugs*

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/12/2007 9:25:37 PM

sweetcreeangel

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thank-you *hugs back*

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/12/2007 10:12:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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In your case I'd say limit your computer time and stop acting like a 16 yo goth chick with a diary.

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/12/2007 10:16:18 PM

Violetta01

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When you are dealing with such an emotional blow it is important to take good care of yourself. Sleep, eat well and exercise. The immune system weakens when under emotional stress. Keep up with daily activities, go out and be part of the world. If nothing else it will distract you from how gloomy you are feeling. The only real solution though is the passing of time. And remember to give yourself credit for taking action and leaving a situation that no longer worked for you. My personal favorite coping method is to flee and get as far away as possible for as long as possible.

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/12/2007 11:33:12 PM

velvetears

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FR

Keep busy with things that will take your mind off of him. Resist urges to contact him in any way. Contact will set you back. Set a goal for yourself and work towards it, this way you have something you can look forward to and get a good feeling for yourself. Give it time, hearts heal slowly.

[edited to add]
Turn to friends but don't allow yourself to get caught up in relying on them too much or wallowing in sympathy if thats their way of comforting you... that will just bog you down more. Second guessing, ruminating about the past can keep us from moving forward.

< Message edited by velvetears -- 10/12/2007 11:35:46 PM >

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/13/2007 1:15:10 PM

sarah11

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Take care of yourself first. Move forward, and don't deny yourself anything you desire. The sooner you let go of the past, the sooner you can move forward.

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/13/2007 2:20:46 PM

Jennie13093

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well i speak from experience here and all i can advise you to do is to take a deep breathe in, keep telling yourself you are beautiful, and hopefully learn some valuable lessons about what you need as a person. Grow and continue learning. We are never to old to learn. i would suggest some quiet time alone but also get out and socialize. Don't get discouraged as this happens to many men and women both consistantly. So please don't wallow in self pity because those negative emotions will spiral down and continue falling if you are not aware of it. To feel sad is one thing but to feel beaten is a whole different arena of emotions. Also what one other sub wrote a few posts up and she gave you some sound advice. To eat healthy, exercise and sleep on a regular basis as you have to be in touch with your body is telling you to do. So chin up and life will soon be good again.!!!

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/13/2007 3:51:00 PM

VonExile

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Your pain specifically, never felt it. Pain in general... well... that's another story.

First, you can't rush feeling better. All it'll do is leave you fragile and easily broken.

Second, stretch, meditate, and do something you're good at, for no other reason than you enjoy it. You will find yourself calmer, focused, and more likely than not, smiling. Never a bad way to be.

Third, anything you do, do in moderation. Do what must be done first, and take care of what you are able. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Healthy food, plenty of water, and don't over-indulge.

That also applies to sympathetic friends and strangers. Sympathy is a good medicine in small doses, but it's like a diet of pure sugar.

Aside from those general things, all I can say is wait. Now, I'm going to go into some poetic imagery.

Your life, everything you've done and have yet to do, it's a river. It flows one direction. You can't go back, can't give yourself more time. It doesn't work that way.
Every problem you have is a boulder in the way. You can try and push it out of the way, if you're strong, or find a way around it, if you're smart. You can leap over it if you're nimble, but all of those things take a lot of effort. You have to work for the forced answer. Any time you rush a judgement, you may only make one boulder become several smaller rocks down the way. Sometimes you must, but more often than not you have time to find another way.

Time is the best answer when a real solution is lacking. Time enough against that boulder, as uncomfortable as it may be, will wear it down. You'll find a way past it, a crack in the face to split apart, and you'll leave it a fine powder in your wake. Let it roll with you, if you can't move past it any other way. You'll wear it down, if you're patient enough to outlast it.

How do you get on with your life? A week at a time, a day at a time, a step at a time if you have to. Just keep walking. Don't worry, I believe in you.

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/13/2007 6:37:02 PM

imtempting

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I find alcohol and being at a friends place really helps. As when im at my mates place we both ditch girls and he tell's me she was not good enough for me and im better off. I'll find someone better..

Or we go bowling and we try to smash the pins.

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/13/2007 9:00:04 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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You do what you would do when he was in your life..I can assume, I hope, that you have responsibilites?, friends? family? etc..well then there you go..The only difference is that he is no longer your priority..so thus..you must make you, your priority for the time being...Tempting

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/14/2007 12:37:00 AM

Willowmoon

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I recently split from my 24/7 Master and fiancee and it has been extremly hard. What do i do keep breathing and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I take each day as it comes and just exist for the moment. Doing this has allowed me to cope and ot get overhwlemed with life and my emotions it has also allowed me to completle all my assignments for uni and just keep existing.

Willow

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RE: what to do???????? - 10/14/2007 1:44:02 AM

porcelaine

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You need to find a way to occupy your time now that he's gone. What did you do before he became a part of your life? What has been neglected while you were together? Focusing on what you shared is inevitable, but the more you dwell the longer the pain will linger and it always causes a downward emotional spiral. We can train our minds to shift gears and you'll need to do the same. Have your cry and then carry on with your day. Don't look for a crutch with friends or new relations, and definitely get off the pity pot. For whatever reason you decided it was best to leave, and while the reality can be hard to swallow, you have to accept the consequences of your decision. Journal if that helps to get things out in the open. But most importantly live. He continues to do so, and you should do the same.

Best wishes.

porcelaine

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