quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: ba5tardo

I saw the original post but decided not to respond because I didn’t have anything to constructively contribute to it. I would like to respond to this one.

First, I think your post was very nice Based on some of your wording, it sounds like you are in a medical or healthcare profession. Perhaps you are even a doctor. Clearly you seem to have experience in this area and know a great deal about anuses.

This having been said, I also think it’s pretty easy to come in after the fact and dish out a bunch of criticism about how everyone else handled it. The fact is, people gave good advice very early in the thread. They told her to see a doctor. Some folks took it to the next level but the OP was not exactly making a whole lot of sense either.

If someone has an injury, and they feel that something is wrong, are in pain and to quote the OP, “TERRIFIED” my first and only advice would be to seek a professional. I can talk about the shape of my ass all day long (don't get me started again) but it’s not going to do her any good if she has an infection. She mentioned other health problems as well that may put her in a category of higher risk.

From what I have seen of the community I think it’s pretty open minded and generally helpful. In some cases I don’t think a completely non-judgmental and open-minded approach is really in everyone’s best interests. For example; there was a post on here recently in which someone inquired about obtaining chloroform and/or using ether contained in starter fluid to render a sub unconscious. In this case I think the rather judgmental response of “Are you fuckin’ nuts!!!” is probably appropriate.

The bottom line (pun partially intended) is that she will probably be ok and probably just is a little sore. However, I would like to offer one piece of advice to anyone : If you are not prepared to see a doctor in the event of a potentially life threatening emergency situation arising from shoving something up your ass then do NOT shove something up your ass. The whole being to shy and embaressed to see a doctor might be delightful to some but it's not going to stich you up if you really do get hurt.

I agree with this totally. The person in that thread was given very good advice. Fora are not the place to get medical help as she was told. What she displayed in the thread was a complete lack of understanding for her body. Constantly bringing up the fact that she was a virgin and not wanting a vaginal exam when her problem was anal shows how little she knows.

As to the OP and the other defender here...... WOW classic case of White Knight Syndrome at work. Really if you think it makes you look attractive to subs to rush in defending someone how wrong you are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster


Nah, but thanks for the psycho-analysis. It's not that easy to dismiss - except if you want to practice deliberate ignorance. But hey, if justice and fair play, and the general practice of compassion for your fellow man is not your thing, nothing I say is going to change you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NightWindWhisper
Women and men who are doctor avoider/phobic do indeed sometimes die because of their fears, so when a person says "I'd rather die than have a gynecological exam," well—I believe that.  And I have actually gone with several women for exams, both gynecological and non, in cases where a support person makes all the difference.  But people of Collarme, phobias are a valid medical problem and here in this community I have always been happy to see positive input—not vicious and bullying responses.  I am surprised.  

Further Collarme is an appropriate place, either for a person who is extremely shy, or who might suffer from social anxiety or other mental disorders—just as much as it is an appropriate place for those who desire a Poly, dominant, or slave lifestyle.  I do not judge others here, and am saddened when I see others who do.  It demeans our community.   A person with anxiety, extreme shyness, or even a social disorder like agoraphobia may well find a partner with the experience and sensitivity and patience to develop, over time a good sexual relationship.  Many dominants would enjoy the slow journey into your awaking sexuality.  I find embarrassment to be delightful.  

The following are bits and pieces that I cut and pasted.  The people who wrote them might as well have taken a small baseball bat and smashed her with it—psychic and emotional trauma is no less destructive than physical abuse.  The following remarks, in my opinion are abuse.  For these people I suggest that you read the book "Odd Girl Out," to learn about how our society perpetuates this form of abuse.  I suspect that most of the people who wrote this are good people who fell into a momentary bully phase.  

One hears about how anti-abuse we are and should be.  Well, to my perception the following statements in that thread are abuse:    

wondering if you even have a sense of dignity  

Sheesh !!!  

Get a grip on yourself   Try a Christian site, they might be more helpful than we are. ROFLMAO.  

This has got to be in the running for the most bizarre thread ever on Collarme.  

tiz tremendously funny isn't it? PMSL, OP, you're abnormal. Trust me, you are (note: PMSL = Pissing Myself Laughing)


If you are not ready or secure enough (or mature enough) to see a gynecologist, you certainly aren't ready to be in an adult relationship.  

So much for your IQ and your research!  
Now take all these nice people's advice and visit your gynecologist, beg nicely for her not to "Rape" your vagina...or curl up and die!!!!!  

No hermione you need psychiatric help because of your prior posts in which you acknowledged this and because of your obvious need to only seek attention  

feeding the attention whore mentality.  

stop acting like a 5 year old who has just discovered where babies come from.  

I keep picturing an indignant girl furiously typing at her pc while half of her ass is hanging off of the chair. Not a pretty picture.    
You think once your future husband gets a look at your mess of an ass on your wedding night he will even care if your hymen is broken or not? What the hell are you thinking?  

I have recently been diagnosed with bone cancer and it has cheered me up no end to find out that someone has more serious medical problems than me!  

I do believe she inadvertantly added a "!" in front of her IQ  

get immediately to a psychiatrist, because despite your self proclaimed intelligence, you are clearly in lala land and no one here can help you.  

stop behaving like a 2 year old.  

something like this is really just an appetizer for the serious insanity        

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

Nah, but thanks for the psycho-analysis. It's not that easy to dismiss - except if you want to practice deliberate ignorance. But hey, if justice and fair play, and the general practice of compassion for your fellow man is not your thing, nothing I say is going to change you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: NightWindWhisper
Women and men who are doctor avoider/phobic do indeed sometimes die because of their fears, so when a person says "I'd rather die than have a gynecological exam," well—I believe that.  And I have actually gone with several women for exams, both gynecological and non, in cases where a support person makes all the difference.  But people of Collarme, phobias are a valid medical problem and here in this community I have always been happy to see positive input—not vicious and bullying responses.  I am surprised.  

Further Collarme is an appropriate place, either for a person who is extremely shy, or who might suffer from social anxiety or other mental disorders—just as much as it is an appropriate place for those who desire a Poly, dominant, or slave lifestyle.  I do not judge others here, and am saddened when I see others who do.  It demeans our community.   A person with anxiety, extreme shyness, or even a social disorder like agoraphobia may well find a partner with the experience and sensitivity and patience to develop, over time a good sexual relationship.  Many dominants would enjoy the slow journey into your awaking sexuality.  I find embarrassment to be delightful.  

The following are bits and pieces that I cut and pasted.  The people who wrote them might as well have taken a small baseball bat and smashed her with it—psychic and emotional trauma is no less destructive than physical abuse.  The following remarks, in my opinion are abuse.  For these people I suggest that you read the book "Odd Girl Out," to learn about how our society perpetuates this form of abuse.  I suspect that most of the people who wrote this are good people who fell into a momentary bully phase.  

One hears about how anti-abuse we are and should be.  Well, to my perception the following statements in that thread are abuse:    

wondering if you even have a sense of dignity  

Sheesh !!!  

Get a grip on yourself   Try a Christian site, they might be more helpful than we are. ROFLMAO.  

This has got to be in the running for the most bizarre thread ever on Collarme.  

tiz tremendously funny isn't it? PMSL, OP, you're abnormal. Trust me, you are (note: PMSL = Pissing Myself Laughing)


If you are not ready or secure enough (or mature enough) to see a gynecologist, you certainly aren't ready to be in an adult relationship.  

So much for your IQ and your research!  
Now take all these nice people's advice and visit your gynecologist, beg nicely for her not to "Rape" your vagina...or curl up and die!!!!!  

No hermione you need psychiatric help because of your prior posts in which you acknowledged this and because of your obvious need to only seek attention  

feeding the attention whore mentality.  

stop acting like a 5 year old who has just discovered where babies come from.  

I keep picturing an indignant girl furiously typing at her pc while half of her ass is hanging off of the chair. Not a pretty picture.    
You think once your future husband gets a look at your mess of an ass on your wedding night he will even care if your hymen is broken or not? What the hell are you thinking?  

I have recently been diagnosed with bone cancer and it has cheered me up no end to find out that someone has more serious medical problems than me!  

I do believe she inadvertantly added a "!" in front of her IQ  

get immediately to a psychiatrist, because despite your self proclaimed intelligence, you are clearly in lala land and no one here can help you.  

stop behaving like a 2 year old.  

something like this is really just an appetizer for the serious insanity        

"I have plenty of compassion for fellow man thank you.

If you think the many posts offering the OP of that thread help and advice were not compassionate then you were reading the wrong thread. She was offered plenty of advice but then displayed compelte lack of interest in what she was being told. The drama came from her not from those that gave perfectly sound advice."
[I really love that... it was HER fault]


Wow! How on earth could I have possibly missed so much compassion?

I do not understand mean-ness as a form of entertainment or the attempts to justify it under the guise of being "helpful".

Very good points were made here by the OP,  SFM and camille65 and the unfortunate reality of the evident unwillingness of people here with their own personal issues to examine: their own places of fear, uncertainty and even "attention-seeking" if you will, seems tragic to me.

Everyone was new at some point.
Everyone has had things that caused embarassment or shame.
Shaming someone further; making someone feel less than ... 'but honestly we tried to help... ' .

yeah, right... I can feel the love now.

aJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

It was a valid point - you preach peace and light - but apparently not for Hermione.

FWIW: You're acting like the victim - what, it's okay to insult and humiliate someone else, but you can't take a bit of constructive criticism yourself? Now THAT is ironic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

For once i must say i agree with domiguy....  domiguy, You rock!!!
Kali

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
Anywhoooo....To the people who defend the actions of the op and are as equally unable to discern or comprehend what is truly good advice ...I can only hope that your future health problems do not center around your assholes but rather your reproductive organs....It would be a shame to pass on such a lack of common sense to future generations.

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
Actually yes some of the postings that were less than polite to the OP were very much her fault.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
Actually yes some of the postings that were less than polite to the OP were very much her fault.

Just like it's the fault of the wife when the drunk alcoholic husband beats the crap out of her. It's never someones fault when they are the unwilling subject of abuse. Of all people who should know this, BDSM folk should since we deal with explicitly and implicitly consensual abuse on a daily basis. Perhaps you think that posting on a forum is some kind of written consent to abuse someone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

It was a valid point - you preach peace and light - but apparently not for Hermione.

FWIW: You're acting like the victim - what, it's okay to insult and humiliate someone else, but you can't take a bit of constructive criticism yourself? Now THAT is ironic.

First of all, I don't PREACH peace and light. It's my signature line....it's appropriate because I honestly do wish people peace and light. Even when it is said to the hopelessly clueless, I do hope that they will have the light click on that will bring them some peace.

Secondly, I don't believe that laughing at the irony of someone "doing" exactly what they are "scolding" me (and others) for doing makes me a victim. Maybe you thought I was taking this more personally than I am?

Third, I didn't view your post to me on that thread as "constructive criticism". As the post is no longer there, which would seem to me to be an indicator that the Mods also did not view it as "constructive criticism", I can only go by memory (which mine is fairly good). In that post you alleged that I was a "player" and you ended the post with "You HYPOCRITE!". If that is "constructive criticism" in your book....well, I think we must have different editions.

I gave the OP of the other thread sound advice. I also tried to alleviate her fears by telling her that I have experience working for a gynecologist, and that her fear of having a doctor take her virginity from her while inspecting her asshole is an unfounded one. I did also say that if one does not possess the maturity to take care of oneself, ie. have a doctor look at their bare ass if there is indeed an injury to said ass....that they are probably not mature enough to be in an adult relationship and should not be on a BDSM message board seeking a Dominant. In case you didn't realize it, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. The likelihood of an injury at some point is a valid possibility....and if you aren't mature enough to allow a doctor to give you care when you are drowning then you should probably stick to wading in the shallow end of the pool.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
Actually yes some of the postings that were less than polite to the OP were very much her fault.

Just like it's the fault of the wife when the drunk alcoholic husband beats the crap out of her. It's never someones fault when they are the unwilling subject of abuse. Of all people who should know this, BDSM folk should since we deal with explicitly and implicitly consensual abuse on a daily basis. Perhaps you think that posting on a forum is some kind of written consent to abuse someone?

how you got to that point b from point a is beyond my lil old peabrain.........if you come to a public forum, and act like an immature irresponsible young adult, folks are going to call you on it.

i didnt see any rudeness in the first thread and certainly no abuse......sarcasm yes, but it begged for that...

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

Nah, but thanks for the psycho-analysis. It's not that easy to dismiss - except if you want to practice deliberate ignorance. But hey, if justice and fair play, and the general practice of compassion for your fellow man is not your thing, nothing I say is going to change you.

So let me get this straight. Its perfectly acceptable for you to psycho-analyse the rest of us, but not for anyone else to turn it on you?
I'll have to calibrate my computer monitor, because halo's are not showing up in people's avatars/pics....

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster


Nah, but thanks for the psycho-analysis. It's not that easy to dismiss - except if you want to practice deliberate ignorance. But hey, if justice and fair play, and the general practice of compassion for your fellow man is not your thing, nothing I say is going to change you.

I have plenty of compassion for fellow man thank you.

If you think the many posts offering the OP of that thread help and advice were not compassionate then you were reading the wrong thread. She was offered plenty of advice but then displayed compelte lack of interest in what she was being told. The drama came from her not from those that gave perfectly sound advice.

You are right that nothing you say is going to change my mind. You may claim to be a Master or dominant but that means nothing as far as I am concerned. I say what I think. If you do not like that then that is your problem not mine.