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RE: question - 10/14/2007 5:43:55 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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It isn't for me but that doesn't mean it can't be for you. We also fell in love by email, chat and phone before we met. We're mushy types and we poured out our hearts to each other sight unseen.

But if you're the more guarded type that doesn't like to think about emotions for months on end, then that's what you need in a partner also.

Some women are guarded, some are impulsive, and some are careful and only put down their walls when all the ducks are in place.

(in reply to imtempting)

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RE: question - 10/14/2007 7:04:01 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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quote:

But if you're the more guarded type that doesn't like to think about emotions for months on end, then that's what you need in a partner also.

I dunno. I'm pretty guarded and my Master is the opposite. If I were in charge, we'd still be working on trying to figure out what a Master and a slave is and the "L-word" wouldn't be scheduled to come up for at least another 9 months, and there could be no committment of any sort for another 15 months. Its all figured out in my head the way its supposed to work. And, yes, I do like to have all my ducks in a row (fortunately, he has a thing for ducks so there's lots of ducks around lol). Whenever I've gotten with someone as guarded as me, we don't really get past the early stages of relationship-forming (Yes, in my little world, there are stages, each building upon each other in an orderly fashion.) and things tend to fall apart before they begin. With some guys, I've spent months wondering if I'm in a relationship. Then, I get impatient, make a command decision, decide I am, and they run. They aren't ready. Because they're just like me, and they'll never actually be ready. Never. Not now, not later, not ever.

My Master's not like that at all. Every once in a while I get overwhelmed and hit the breaks screaming afraid we're gonna crash into a wall. So, we stop long enough for me to regroup and reorganize and for him to and calm me down.

Its all working out quite well.

To respond to the op: I would definitely have to meet someone first before using the L-word. I would have to meet them before I even believe they exist.

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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to Celeste43)

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Post #: 22

RE: question - 10/15/2007 7:02:05 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Gypsygrl, I'm glad that's working out for you. What I've mainly seen in people who work at very different time scales is a lot of anger and resentment. The guarded ones usually feel pressured to commit when they aren't ready to and the more open ones feel resentful that all their love is being spurned. It's good you two have found a way around all that.

I used to have a duck umbrella, yellow with a duck head for a handle. I'd love a new one for rainy days.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

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RE: question - 10/15/2007 7:16:04 AM

searching4moreak

Posts: 14
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline

Personally I would be leery
that said I met a man online the specifics to how i met him will remain usaid but I can say we talked for hours nightly in im's over the phone and via skype. Many people say you cant love someone you have never met. I dont agree I had logged hundreds of hours talkign to this man more than most people that date locally would spend in a year. In 6months time I flew to meet him in his town and it was just as amazing in person as it had been online. We are still great friends and still care about eachother we just ralized neither of us was in a position to relocate. So we both moved on.

So I wouldnt stereotype it and say all people cant truly be in love over the internet but if your talking 4-5 ims and a phone call thats pretty scary

(in reply to imtempting)

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RE: question - 10/15/2007 8:13:23 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

It sounds to me like they have ulterior motives for telling you they love you. If you truly love someone you don't get anry if they don't say it back, hurt a little maybe. Love entails so much more then a few IM's or emails and i am with you - unless i actually meet that person i would hold back such a strong emotion from developing. Learned the hard way a longggggggg time ago when i had a ltr for about a year and we met - it was a disaster and i left feeling empty and bewildered. i had very strong feelings for this dom and invested to much into something i consider wasn't real in the end.

I agree with this. Personally of course it is a possibility, just looking at some of the other posts, but my guess is telling someone you love them or have fallen for them after so few communications just comes off as a person trying to use the words as a shortcut.

I always told the people I wrote back positively that I do not get emotionally involved until I meet just so they knew not to do that with me so I would not have to have to decide if they meant it or it was a ploy. Love is an intangible thing. Some can call lust love while others have some specific time table in their head. Some need to love someone so bad they love someone very quickly while others may take a long time. I just have a tough time buying “love” after a few communications, at best wishing for love.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to velvetears)

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Post #: 25