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how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 5:44:55 PM   
gothicbdsm


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/9/2004
Status: offline 		hello everyone, I have a question for slaves and subs out there.

I would like my gf to be more open to a bdsm relationship or at least some regular bdsm sceneing.  I am thinking that if she were to be with me and another female sub that she could see for herself how it is, what goes on, just generally be introduced to it first hand.  She is open to another female being around so that is not a problem.

What does anyone think about this ?  Any subs or slaves ever been involved in something like this in either position ?

All feedback welcome !  :)
-B
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 5:50:45 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		My advice is to find a movie that is somewhat vanilla with a few little bdsm elements to it (that are obviously bdsm elements), and then casually ask her what she thinks about that part of the movie, that it actually intrigued you. See what her reaction is to that before you make plans to collar her and throw her into the salt mines of Gor.

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(in reply to gothicbdsm)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 6:07:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicbdsm

hello everyone, I have a question for slaves and subs out there.

I would like my gf to be more open to a bdsm relationship or at least some regular bdsm sceneing.  I am thinking that if she were to be with me and another female sub that she could see for herself how it is, what goes on, just generally be introduced to it first hand.  She is open to another female being around so that is not a problem.

What does anyone think about this ?  Any subs or slaves ever been involved in something like this in either position ?

All feedback welcome !  :)
-B

I think that's a great idea if your goal is to end the relationship. You can't "make" someone anything. They're either wired this way or not. You can help open her mind to it, but you can't make her. Next, dumping a vanilla into a full Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochistic relationship is a good way to freak someone out.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to gothicbdsm)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 6:23:06 PM   
gothicbdsm


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I think that's a great idea if your goal is to end the relationship. You can't "make" someone anything. They're either wired this way or not. You can help open her mind to it, but you can't make her. Next, dumping a vanilla into a full Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochistic relationship is a good way to freak someone out.


I disagree with the "wired" thing but I am pretty concerned about just freaking her out completely.  After posting my original message I found some very helpful posts from others in the past about this sort of thing, it really just doesn't seem like a good idea from what they have said....

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 6:32:12 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Like someone else said approach the situation carfully. Don't just come home with another sub. She will dump your arse in seconds. 

(in reply to gothicbdsm)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 6:36:33 PM   
gothicbdsm


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
Don't just come home with another sub. She will dump your arse in seconds. 


obviously...

(in reply to imtempting)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 6:40:34 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		A key question to ponder might be whether your girlfriend shows any submissive tendencies.

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it's never enough to keep up.

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INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to gothicbdsm)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 7:09:47 PM   
gothicbdsm


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice
A key question to ponder might be whether your girlfriend shows any submissive tendencies.


Hrm, she does like to be spanked, I make the decisions when it comes to what to go out and do/eat/etc, she will do what she is told to as far as fairly normal sex goes.  Even when it is something I know she doesn't sbsolutely love she will still do it to make me happy.

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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/13/2007 11:25:55 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		sounds like she could just be cock whipped

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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/14/2007 7:17:37 AM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicbdsm

What does anyone think about this ?  Any subs or slaves ever been involved in something like this in either position ?



I think from one perspective is that everyone in this forum was once vanilla.... they may have had submissive tendancies, or thoughts, but at some point in thier life, they had no idea what was actually achievable from involvement in BDSM.  For me it wasn't until someone introduced me to the idea that I researched on the net, examined my submissive feelings and found that there were other people like me, and I realised that I could potentially have a partner that would compliment my lifestyle choices.

Your girl likes a spanking, and from your words I take it that she is naturally submissive in some ways, maybe it is just a case of introducing her to some ideas, perhaps why way of some literature, or some websites for BDSM beginners.  But I do think most importantly that you communicate with her.  You are having an intimate relationship with her already, so what is stopping you from just talking to her about what you want, and how you wish to progress?

Faith

:: smiles ::

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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 10/14/2007 11:56:42 AM   
pleasureforck


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline 		Take it slow and introduce things little by little. If she already likes to be spanked than it seems that she is interested. Sometimes I felt my Sir was going too slow but it has worked out so well. I have submitted on my own and he knows that he never pressured me. It makes it more special to him knowing everytime I give over more control it's truely what I want.

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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 11/29/2007 3:25:10 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline 		Did You talk to her about this?

I would make sure that You speak Your mind freely with her first.
You truly need a solid relationship before you introduce anyone else into the relationship, this can cause allot of stress.

I would say first discuss this, and buy good books, or read good pages online together, and tell her what You expect, and want and not want, build it slowly up, and take your time, and give her time to get used to how You want it.

When she is ok with it all, and Yyou've grown deeper together, I think just then the subject should be to involve someone else in Yyour relationship. This is something Yyou both should want.

I wish You goodluck and loads of wisdom.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

(in reply to pleasureforck)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 11/29/2007 9:31:33 AM   
secretagentgirl


Posts: 70
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		There is a continuum of BDSM.  Some guys don't identify as Doms, but they like aggressive sex.  Try some of the more aggressive approaches... pull her hair a little, tell her what to do (in a sexy, suggestive way), hold her down during sex, etc and see how she reacts.
The idea might not SOUND good to her, but in the act could be a different story.  If she goes for it, keep introducing new stuff.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 11/29/2007 9:34:18 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretagentgirl

There is a continuum of BDSM.  Some guys don't identify as Doms, but they like aggressive sex.  Try some of the more aggressive approaches... pull her hair a little, tell her what to do (in a sexy, suggestive way), hold her down during sex, etc and see how she reacts.
The idea might not SOUND good to her, but in the act could be a different story.  If she goes for it, keep introducing new stuff.



This is a great idea. Bringing someone else home is not, unless agreed upon.

(in reply to secretagentgirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 11/29/2007 9:57:45 AM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		and be fully prepared if she is NOT interested and decide where you want to go next.

Z-

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Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: how to introduce my gf into a full bdsm relationship ? - 11/29/2007 10:07:42 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

My advice is to find a movie that is somewhat vanilla with a few little bdsm elements to it (that are obviously bdsm elements), and then casually ask her what she thinks about that part of the movie, that it actually intrigued you. See what her reaction is to that before you make plans to collar her and throw her into the salt mines of Gor.


I second this suggestion!

Personally, I have been sub since i can remember, but i didn't know it for most of it.  Didn't know there was a name for all my secretsexy fantasies anyway.....

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 16
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