RE: How to Stop Kink? (Full Version)

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Ashkitty -> RE: How to Stop Kink? (10/15/2007 6:28:15 PM)

So many wonderful replies, too many good quotes to keep at heart.
Thank you, everyone.

Meh. Mreh. mew.
To shed a little light... yes.. for the past few months I've been in a relationship with a natural dom.

Natural as in leading personality, but otherwise... no.. Dom-ness. And no interest in changing that.. "been there, done that, not my thing." which is perfectly respectable.

For a while it was fine... he bosses me around a bit, naturally, and won't let me get away with things -- to a point. (If I try really hard, I can always get things my way.) But it seems to be happening less... or am I just less affected?
It's still... fine... but I keep transgressing, in my mind.

Thinking of what it used to be like.. with my Doms.. the highs and lows of exilleration and misery so much more... intense? Intense! Intensity! Augh!

Yet, I am so terribly torn in all my thinking. By all accounts, I'm so happy, comfortable, and gracious in this relationship...
Except for lack.

...and the silly wish that I hadn't fucked things up then in the first place. But that is neither here nor there.

This is ridiculously hard to talk about.




Lumus -> RE: How to Stop Kink? (10/15/2007 6:38:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ashkitty

So many wonderful replies, too many good quotes to keep at heart.
Thank you, everyone.

Meh. Mreh. mew.
To shed a little light... yes.. for the past few months I've been in a relationship with a natural dom.

Natural as in leading personality, but otherwise... no.. Dom-ness. And no interest in changing that.. "been there, done that, not my thing." which is perfectly respectable.

For a while it was fine... he bosses me around a bit, naturally, and won't let me get away with things -- to a point. (If I try really hard, I can always get things my way.) But it seems to be happening less... or am I just less affected?
It's still... fine... but I keep transgressing, in my mind.

Thinking of what it used to be like.. with my Doms.. the highs and lows of exilleration and misery so much more... intense? Intense! Intensity! Augh!

Yet, I am so terribly torn in all my thinking. By all accounts, I'm so happy, comfortable, and gracious in this relationship...
Except for lack.

...and the silly wish that I hadn't fucked things up then in the first place. But that is neither here nor there.

This is ridiculously hard to talk about.



Nothing is easy to talk about if it's worth discussion. [;)]

Well, you can't "make" him want to Dom ya.  You do not want [unless I misunderstand, and if so, please, correct me!] something vanilla with kink on the side.  Have you discussed having or making the relationship open, so you can find a Dom without the relationship/commitment tangent?  Or are you simply thinking out loud about whether you want to break up with him?

Details can be hard to discuss, especially if they're personal, on an open forum like boards.  Perhaps you should talk to your friends and get their input...or have you?

Best of luck either way.  I hope this blurb gives you a little something to consider or respond to, in a more comfortable manner. [:)]




Ashkitty -> RE: How to Stop Kink? (10/15/2007 7:22:05 PM)

Well, I'm just kind of thinking out loud in general.
I don't want to break up with him. More like I'm... in a rut? Mrm.

My friends... if I could talk to them about these things, I would.
I've had discussions with my bf, but not so blunt... not yet.
Other than that, I only have mutual friends and my very few close, personal friends I can openly talk to... but none of them are kinky.
I don't get close to many people.
Makes it difficult.




kitttty -> RE: How to Stop Kink? (10/15/2007 10:43:44 PM)

If I had to, I imagine I could go back to a vanilla relationship with kinky sex if it were possible to find a partner as sexually dominant as I prefer who wasn't otherwise dominant. I am not sure though.




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