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RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 11:20:11 AM

miladyh

Posts: 64
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

BlueAngel,

When I came to this lifestyle it was with my husband we were introduced to it by a couple we knew from our local swingers group. In 10 years we developed a relationship our own with our common likes and interests and our rules.

2 years ago I discovered he had been using the lifestyle as a means to lie and cheat. I was crushed. I and all our friends thought we would be the couple to make it forever...we were the perfect couple. I allowed him to make me believe it was my fault that I had done something to make him lie. After 3 months and a major weight loss (was living on cigarettes and coffee) I finally decided to pull myself together and wake up to realize that these were HIS choices not mine, hell I didnt even know he had been making them.

I left the lifestyle for a while being jaded due to it being used against me. I was in a vanilla relationship for the last year and yeah I missed the lifestyle. When that relationship ended I decided is time to explore the lifestyle once again.

Best Wishes to you,
h

(in reply to ShadowsLap)

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Post #: 41

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 12:53:14 PM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

yes, i am completely attached.

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blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to kitttty)

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Post #: 42

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 1:02:24 PM

slavebrandyj

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

slavebrandyj There is such a forum. Look in the community disscusion listings.

Maybe I did not make my suggestion for a new category under community discussions. I know there is a forum for submissives/slaves...But that is for BOTH male and female subs/slaves.

What I think we should have is two new forums to replace (pr in addition to) the one for ALL subs/slaves. There should be one for MALE subs/slaves and another for FEMALE subs/slaves. Just like the way we have separate ones for Doms and Dommes.

Sorry for the confusion.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 43

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 2:00:28 PM

seangrey

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

I hate this thread. It's disturbing. How come the subs say they thought they were in love with their first Dom (or extremely attached), at least at the time and the Doms say that they have never been so strongly attached to any sub? How do you get a Dom to fall in love?

How indeed? Trust me it happens. Great Doms are really empathetic but great at Disciplining it. I have felt the love everytime that a sub has fallen hard for me. I would like to be able to just give myself over to that, but the dynamic falls apart in the cases that I have tried to just go with it. So I am learning to cherish that love and only allow myself secret gleeful tastes of its full power.

(in reply to kitttty)

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Post #: 44

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 2:22:17 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Blue,

It happens as there is that initial feeling of safety and understanding that is somehow unmatched by others that come after. That is a principal reason why when I mentor someone it is always on a hands off basis to insure total objectivity.
Even mentor relationships are subject to getting too close.

Good Fortune

CP

BINGO! Never better was said. I also think that MrDiscipline44 could use a Mentor or perhaps a good book.

As for me, yes I am a Dominant, I never fell in love, (though did love, there is a difference and I don't think I could do what I do including hurting one if I didn't deeply care for or love) with one of mine in my 24 years of living this until..........................I had a love at first sight experience. I did some very close scrutiny of myself to be sure before I scrutinized him ie, was this actual LOVE. Well, we were married in June '07 and I have never in all of my experiences ever been so happy.

To the OP I cannot say anything other than listen to CelticPrince and time does not heal all though time does dull all into the haze of life.

Be Well,

EG

< Message edited by EvilGenie -- 10/18/2007 2:32:05 PM >

(in reply to CelticPrince)

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Post #: 45

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 6:16:33 PM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

I became emotionally attached with my first Domme, and continued to be so for almost a year after the relationship ended when she did something proving the kind of person she really is, breakin the attachement. For couple years after that, I ended doing 180 and became nearly completely emotionally independent and became to emotionally distant which I had to deal with last June, and since been trying to achieve some form of balance. Bit hard to do that when your single, and now in a new city where I have to make new friends, and such. So yes, the first one can have quite an impact.

-mellian

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Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to BlueAngelEyes411)

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Post #: 46

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 7:24:18 PM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

Brandyj, Sure there are lifestyle Dommes that seek exactly what you are proposing. Search for the malewife thread in the Ask a Mistress section. The idea takes slightly different forms from woman to woman but it has been one of the more enduring threads over the last 6 months or so.

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Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 47

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 7:45:19 PM

piigwh0re

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/25/2007
Status: offline

I was totally in love with my first Domme and she was in love with me. I still love her even though I have moved on with my life. She passed away 7 years ago but I will always have a very deep love for her.

(in reply to kitttty)

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Post #: 48

RE: extremely attached - 10/18/2007 7:48:58 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

I am so sorry for your loss and glad to see that you are moving ahead. Always keep one foot in front of the other, for back stepping is the most dangerous thing we can do in any major situational life change. Baby steps? Fine, just keep them moving. Blue this goes for you as well hun. All the best to you and thank you for so much for sharing!

Be Well,

EG

< Message edited by EvilGenie -- 10/18/2007 7:49:59 PM >

(in reply to piigwh0re)

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Post #: 49