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Newbe needs help..... - 10/14/2007 9:07:12 PM   
shykytti


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, Im trying to find out where I fit in this lifestyle and Im wondering what is the difference between a submissive and a slave? What are the requirements or expectations of each? Thank you for your help.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/14/2007 9:21:20 PM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		Its all relative dear, but the general ( most widely accepted but someone someone is sure to disagree) difference is the extent to which a person submits to another.  Sub means submits some, to some extent or some level and slave would imply a complete power exchange.  What that can mean is as different  to any two people as marriage vows are to vanilla people.

octavia

(in reply to shykytti)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/14/2007 9:30:20 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Sub and slave are subjective terms, as octavia said, much like the term "a happy marriage". We all have a different idea of what makes a happy marriage, just as we all have a different idea of what a sub or a slave does.

It IS a question that flummoxes most newbies (and quite a lot of D's too!!) and there really is no wrong or right answer.

I prefer "slaves" because they seem (in MY world, not everyone elses, so don't bother debating semantics with me anyone), to need less in the way of emotional attachment and investment than do subs. The slave I have now has a whole other life away from me, so when he is with me, he is totally there to do everything in his power to make me happy. I don't feel the need to emotionally invest myself in him and right now, that is what I want and also what he wants.



_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/14/2007 9:56:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Stop asking for clear guidelines, stop hoping there will be "answers."  I'm afraid you really do have to just do what's best and right for you.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_586226/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#586267
Curious, sub v slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_515303/mpage_1/key_slave/tm.htm#515333
What is the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_308296/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#309867
sub or slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_342405/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#342794
~slave vs sub~

http://www.collarchat.com/m_410567/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#410982
slave or sub

http://www.collarchat.com/m_497775/mpage_1/key_submissive%252Cslave/tm.htm#497977
I'm new to this but...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893
Difference bet/submission and slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767
slub question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512
difference between slave and submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062
definition of "slave"

What's the difference between slaves and submissives?

Submissive or slave?

Slaves versus submissive

Submissive or slave? (2)

Submissive vs slave (2)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to shykytti)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 1:45:03 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		Well, the submissives fill out a form X648s, and the slaves fill out the X648sl. Don't get them mixed up or you'll have to stand in line all over again.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 1:48:51 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Didn't we change form X648s to XZ739?

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to obis)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 2:06:22 AM   
subnstudent


Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		As crazy as it may sound, I am of the opinion that there are no hard and fast rules for what constitutes "submissive" and what constitutes "slave." Both terms mean different things for different people, and there are all kinds. Now I figure that's not very helpful, but basically what I'm saying is you need to come up with definitions yourself. Be it careful research, to soul-searching, stream of consciousness, whatever. Just keep an open mind and let the definition come to you as it will, ya?

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 2:13:28 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		what they all said.....it means whatever the folks involved in the relationship determine it means to them and for them

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to shykytti)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 3:21:18 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline


just a thought to the op, but try thinking about what these words don't mean to you. looking at your question from that angle might help. i could be wrong, it's happened before   phoenix



(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 6:02:51 AM   
sula


Posts: 61
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: obis

Well, the submissives fill out a form X648s, and the slaves fill out the X648sl. Don't get them mixed up or you'll have to stand in line all over again.



hee hee!!!
(Does the IRS distinguish between the two?)

sula (formerly known as arrow)

(in reply to obis)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 6:57:48 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		The only requirement for a satisfying relationship that I know of is that you figure out what drives you, what you need and what you can't tolerate. And that you take the time to talk to other people and see if they are compatible in the ways you need.

Now go have fun!

(in reply to sula)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 6:59:43 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Didn't we change form X648s to XZ739?


If I catch anyone out there with an outdated form, there will be repercussions.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 7:05:25 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:



If I catch anyone out there with an outdated form, there will be repercussions.

Ron


*frantically waves her WAY outdated form in the air*
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 7:06:23 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, come here.......let's get you percussed and repercussed then.........

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 7:08:02 AM   
searching4moreak


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		Thats asolutley too funny

(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 7:08:04 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		shykytti,
This question is asked about 3 times per week here, so forgive their tongue-in-cheek answers.  You can be whatever label you put on yourself, just find someone else that accepts that definition too.  Good luck and welcome to the forums.
l

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Newbe needs help..... - 10/15/2007 7:30:32 AM   
MstrDennynSlave


Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		When I met my Master, I really had no intention of being anything other than a submissive. I wasnt ready to commit to a TPE lifestyle. Wasnt long til I realized that what I craved was TPE. I asked Master if he still wanted a slave instead of a submissive. I've been happily collared since June 20th. Submissive and slave both mean different things to different folks. Figuring out what you want as you go along, then going after what you want is the best way to do it. Your ideas most likely will change as you go, as mine sure did. Do some research and follow your heart.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 17
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