what do you do? (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> what do you do? (10/14/2007 9:19:26 PM)

I want to cry. I want to cut.  I want to run away into the night and never return.  I won't, but I want to.  What do you do when things hurt you so bad you think there is no recovery?  How do you cope with deep sadness and survive.
Give me some tips people.  Tonight, I need them.
Kyst



laurell3 -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 9:27:09 PM)

I want to sometimes too.  It took me a long time to realize that crying can be helpful, cathertic, releasing. Call friends, call a support line, take deep breaths, journalize your thoughts, take a look at your accomplishments, take an inventory of the good things about yourself, but do not harm yourself.  And when you get through this moment, get some help.

Remember this though, you are not alone.  We all as people have fears, doubts, saddness, pain, feelings of worthlessess, loss of hope and every other imaginable feeling. 

Good luck to you, I'm sorry you're having a hard time.
l 



FangsNfeet -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 9:32:26 PM)

I dust myself off. I shower, put on my hottest outfit, do what I can with what I can afford at the salon and mall, and then I pop in Garth Brooks "Friends In Low Places" and move on. The best way to move on is not to just move along, but to move in style. On  my first night, I usually need a little help from Jack, Capt, and Jose. After I wake up, that's when I decide to breath and plan steps of what I need to do now. I'm still alive after all and I can do this one day at a time.



Missokyst -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 9:35:09 PM)

Thanks for the thoughts.  I could use some liquid right about now.  If only I didn't have to get up so danged early!
Maybe tomorrow.
Kyst



GoddessMine -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 9:39:08 PM)

I like to take walks.

Love,
GM



FangsNfeet -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 9:39:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Thanks for the thoughts.  I could use some liquid right about now.  If only I didn't have to get up so danged early!
Maybe tomorrow.
Kyst


See there, you're already thinking about tommorow. The sun will continue to rise and so shall you. You're going to be fine.

Goodnight, I also have to get up too damn early.



Damocles809 -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 10:03:44 PM)

Work out, stretch, meditate, drive somewhere new. 

Make a list of all the awful things I survived before. 

Make a list my current options.  Weigh the pros and cons of each.  

Think of the worst case scenrios for each option.  Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: what do you do? (10/14/2007 10:17:35 PM)

When it really gets that bad, I pray.  Not "to god" or anything, I just pray.  When I'm really at the end of it all, end of crying, end of emptiness, I pray.

I also pray at other times, but that particular is what I do at that time.



CuriousLord -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 12:36:05 AM)

Sit down and reevaluate things.

It seems a lot of pain comes from disappointed expectations- things you believe in being shown as false.  More comes from wanting too much- thinking you should have that lover, that job, that grade, that family.. that whatever it is.  And, why don't you have it?  Why can't you get it?  And then there's the pain.  It's because, somehow, whatever you did wasn't surficient.

So, then, there needs to be the release.  Maybe it was too much.  Maybe that area's a weakness for you.  Maybe it was a bad situation.  Maybe fate just acted oddly.  But, the maybe's aside, that's something to look more into another day when you're feel introspective.  Today, you just need to accept that, whatever it was, it wasn't something you could achieve (gain, hang on to, whatever).

And, maybe, when you release that- it's an ego downer.  Maybe if you release that job you wanted, you feel less useful.  Or, if you release trying to hold onto that lover, you feel less desirable romantically.  Or, whatever it is.  And then you just have to reevaluate all of that, and see what you really believe, and just accept it.

I believe there's a lot about acceptance that can get one past such hard feelings.  The only problem comes in when you're not willing to accept it- when the ego gets in the way- for better or for worse.  And, in those cases, all you can do is act.  If you can't continue to act for it, it's time to consider telling the ego to take a hike.



pahunkboy -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 12:50:16 AM)

you might feel better if you talk it out.

the blue pages of the phone book have cousellor info.

what is going on ?



SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 2:29:16 AM)

http://positivepause.com/



pahunkboy -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 2:52:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

http://positivepause.com/


wow- i did not know i needed that too



Missokyst -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 5:03:33 AM)

I couldnt handle the positive pause, but your tag line made me feel a tad better.  I want to believe that.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,....Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending...



pahunkboy -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 5:36:30 AM)

if u need to talk- feel free to drop me an email



PrettyOHDomme -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 5:43:23 AM)

I work out. Pushing yourself physically gives you the same endorphins as cutting, without the psychological repercussions.

Eat some dark chocolate.

Concentrate on your breathing. 10 very slow, very deep breaths do a lot to help me past the "demons."

Have sex.

Honestly, sometimes, I chat with my doc and up my medication. You'd be surprised at how many people are or have been on anti-depressants.

*hugs*

I know you have lots of friends on here, but I'd also love to chat if you need to.

-Ellen



IrishMist -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 5:58:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I want to cry. I want to cut.  I want to run away into the night and never return.  I won't, but I want to.  What do you do when things hurt you so bad you think there is no recovery?  How do you cope with deep sadness and survive.
Give me some tips people.  Tonight, I need them.
Kyst

I focus all my energy on ONE thing that brings me absolute peace and contentment; it helps to keep the demons at bay so that I can get past the sadness and the hurt.



HisSongstress -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 6:00:38 AM)

I find it helpful to acknowledge that I feel this way. And that those that love me don't shriek and run from my life. The honesty of saying that I feel like dying but am chosing not to is very empowering.

Fall is very difficult for me. Seasonal affective disorder changes me into an insecure, unmotivated, passive creature. I hate being this way. I am in denial every fall. So.....

I acknowledge that I have to deal with things. I do what works. I go back to the doctor and adjust meds. I eat right, sleep right, exercise, I limit my stress, I talk to my friends and lovers about how I feel.....do I want to do any of those things?  NO!!! I want to die.... but that is not reality..... it is just chemical.  I know that rationally. It helps me to know that this pahse will pass and that I can make it easier if I do the things that have worked in the past. But it is un-fucking-belieably difficult

Reaching out to others is difficult. Congratulations!!!!!

best!

song



Missokyst -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 9:17:28 AM)

There are many times I wish I could rely on medication.  Some years ago I tore the infispinatus musle from my shoulder blade.  It never completely detached, but did enough damage that I always have some degree of pain.  I have learned to deal with that without meds.  Sometimes I can use that pain when I need a masochistic push.  It doesn't seem to be working today.  I feel numb, mentally heavy, and slow.  I am a masochist who has always chosen pain to deal with things that normal people get passed.  But it feels like there isn't enough pain in the world to get passed this.. sad.
Maybe walking will help.  Thanks for all the suggestions.
K



brightspot -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 9:31:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I want to cry. I want to cut.  I want to run away into the night and never return.  I won't, but I want to.  What do you do when things hurt you so bad you think there is no recovery?  How do you cope with deep sadness and survive.
Give me some tips people.  Tonight, I need them.
Kyst


After the fire that took most of my favorite things and killed two of my cats also causing me to become homeless for a while(but had shelter at my sister's). Also dealing with my mother dying of cancer....I am quite often hanging from a very thin thread. What helps me is to think of the people and animals that count on me in their lives.
 
I think in the context of believing that life is a school and sometimes we go through very dark periods where we learn are most valuable lessons.
 
I also remind myself that (and this is very difficult to believe until the light starts peeking in again) that "when one door closes, a new and better one will open".
 
I also try and remind myself that there are sooooo many more people that have much, much worse things they are trying to overcome in their lives.

 
Good Luck! Missy



Missokyst -> RE: what do you do? (10/15/2007 12:07:47 PM)

You are right.  I am not diabetic, I don't have any of a variety of ailments that effect so many.  I do have a back injury but after 10 yrs I have learned to deal with that.  And, I have my son, who is my happy place.  If it were not for that costume I promised him I don't know what I would do.
I will concentrate on my son, and try hard not to make him my savior.
Thanks for reminding me other people have it harder than I.
Kyst



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