Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
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I suppose who is "in control" really depends on the individuals. I've seen all kinds. I've seen dominants who ask permission to dominate their submissive. I've seen those who let the submissive make the rules, set the boundaries, define the limits and determine the direction things go in. I have seen those where the submissive has no say at all in anything. I've seen pretty much everything in between.
I can't speak for everyone or every relationship out there, there are just too many variations. All I can do is speak for myself. For myself it works like this. I do what I want to do. If a submissive likes that and wants to be part of that, she can try to get my attention and provided I like what she has to offer she gets to come along for the ride. But its my way or the highway... and that's really the only thing she controls... that choice of whether to surrender or not, whether to stay or not. I'd say in my case that puts me squarely 99.9% in control. That's what works for me.
As for everyone else, I hope what you do works for you, whatever that may be. I don't think it really matters who's in charge so much as whether not those most concerned (the people actually in the relationship) are happy or not.
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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RE: does the power?????? - 
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