Being given a slave name - reasons? (Full Version)

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Willowmoon -> Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 7:46:22 PM)

Sir and I were talking last night when he mentioned that he should come up with a 'slave' name for me. I asked him why and his response was that he knows within the local scene that I don't particularly want to be known by my real name and he knows I am not happy with the nickname I have as it is left over from my last Master who I spilt with a month ago. The name I have been using also does not really fit me as a slave name as it is a variation on cat or kitty and I don't beleive that and Cat is a submissive animal. Sir is my friend and Trainer, I am currently staying with him until I find my own place and as long as I live under his roof I live by his rules (which are not as stict as they would be if i was his girl) I am honored that Sir wishes to come up with a new slave name for me and am looking forward to having him give it to me.

Hmmm I am kind of getting off track the point of this post was going to be to ask how many subs/slaves have been given slave names, what the name was (if they wish to share) and the reasons behind being given a slave name.

Willow



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 8:41:42 PM)

I'd say don't get a name yet because it's only been a month and you'd hate to just have TWO names tarnished.  If it lasts, then there's no need to rush a name today.

Generally people use names as ways to feel connected- to the past, to the present, to other people, to themselves, to some experience of themselves.  It can be a romantic gesture, a legal gesture, a symbol of ownership.

But seriously, wait on the naming between you guys.



Willowmoon -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 8:43:45 PM)

I guess the way I am viewing it at the moment is the same as any friend giving me a nickname but I do see your point re it only being four weeks.



dollylima -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 9:00:47 PM)

If it is the same as any friend giving a nickname, why are you calling it a "new slave name"?



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 9:01:54 PM)

My boys both have names, one was named after 2 months, one after less than a week.  If you are not HIS girl, though, you might get a nickname but it wouldnt be a slave name. You might want to select a scene name, something you pick yourself and you are known as in the public scene, that isnt connected to someone else. Thats what I did, as a Dominant. It isnt so much I dont want people to know my real name, but I am more comfortable having a recognizable alter ego.

DV




exogenous -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 10:05:00 PM)

A few months ago I was emailing with someone who wanted to be referred to as Sir James, but his real name was Robert. He said that if we became involved in a full time relationship he would choose a different name for me, rather than the name I was given at birth.
 
That is a strange concept to me. I am the same person whether I am doing laundry, scrubbing the bathtub, tied up and receiving a flogging, or servicing a Dom in whatever way he wished. It just seems odd to me to have different names to differentiate various aspects of my being. I don’t consider myself as having an alter-ego, nor did my former Dom, requiring a different name.
 
I am a sub, I am who I am, no matter what I am doing, whether I’m at work, going out to dinner and a movie, doing domestic chores, watching football or horse races on TV, or servicing him. I am not “Mary” at certain times and “Susie” at other times.
 
With my previous Dom I appreciated that he had no set rule on how I should refer to him. It just wasn’t a big deal to him. I addressed him as “Sir” as well as with his given name (and he referred to me with endearments, or his slut, his whore, as well as my given name) no matter what was taking place. However, we felt no need or desire to “re-name” ourselves.



hisannabelle -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 10:36:12 PM)

greetings willowmoon,

the only personal experience i have with this is in my current relationship. i chose the name i have for myself (and no, it's not, in fact, annabelle...that's just a nickname) at his request, and he also has a name. both of our names mean a great deal to us personally and also in relationship with each other. if i were to be released, i am not sure if i would choose another name...the name that i have is tied up with who i am - how i see myself as a slave, as a woman. it means a lot to me.

what exogenous said, i thought, was interesting...mainly because i see that name as who i am, really, not my given name. it's the name that i chose as an aspiration and an inspiration and a descriptor, in a lot of ways. it's very possible that one day i might grow out of it...but to me it is not so much a matter of having an alter-ego, or having different modes, or anything like that...i am a slave all of the time. i guess it's just that i don't feel like i am my given name, so to speak.

i would add to the comments about considering the importance you place on this name, given the fact that you are not "his girl," and that names seem to be important to you. "annabelle" is what i tend to go by in bdsm circles online and annabelle or my given name in the rare occasions that i venture out into the local community...it comes from his calling me annabelle every now and then, sort of as a pet name. perhaps what you are looking for is more of a nickname for bdsm community activities rather than a personal "slave name"? just a thought.

respectfully,
annabelle.



deliciousmorsel -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/15/2007 11:57:46 PM)

There's a lot of making it up as one goes along now; I know there were Old Guard protocols for names but every slave I've ever met has a scene name just like every player; It's as much about who you are as confidentiality.
Ditching a name you don't like after a break up is probably a good idea, but it takes time to be just yourself again. As for replacing one christian name with another- that's just about power, or maybe making up strange things as one goes along.
I've talked to an Old Guard veteran about how the different protocols made me crazy they were so inconsistent; He told me about people, mostly insecure Doms, coming up with incredibly elaborate stuff out of nowhere.

Do what's right for you- if the Master or Dominant won't discuss it or negotiate so everyone is happy maybe you need to keep looking. Life is too short for a name you hate.



Willowmoon -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 12:12:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dollylima

If it is the same as any friend giving a nickname, why are you calling it a "new slave name"?


because its going to be used mostly within the local scene.



littlebitxxx -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 5:31:23 AM)

Only my own personal experience here.  I picked my own sub name, sage, when I became a first-time submissive.  Because it happened when I was 45, after leaving a 21 year marriage, and newly discovering my submissiveness, it's like it became a whole new identity to me.  In fact, when the divorce is final I will be changing my name legally to Sage.  I identify more with this name than I do my birth name.  I have become a whole new person inside and I like it.  When I beg collar with my Jarl, I will expect a new name, a slave name, chosen by him.  To me it means ownership, belonging, being "His".  I will still be called Sage in everyday life, I will still be "me".   As his Free Companion, I am Sage, as his sub/slave I will be whatever he chooses to call me.

In your case, I would think that having Sir give you a name for the time you are with him is pretty cool.  But also realize that when you get a new Master he may well want to change it.  And that is their prerogative.



exogenous -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 4:09:32 PM)

hisannabelle
quote:

mainly because i see that name as who i am, really, not my given name. it's the name that i chose as an aspiration and an inspiration and a descriptor, in a lot of ways.
 
I appreciate that clarification as to what it means to you.
 
I wonder if it’s similar to a caterpillar that changes in its cocoon and emerges as a butterfly. Life experiences change our outlooks and actions/reactions in various ways, even as we keep our core values and sense of self. A special name celebrates those changes in a positive way.
 
deliciousmorsel
quote:

It's as much about who you are as confidentiality… As for replacing one christian name with another- that's just about power
 
Very good points, I thank you, for those perspectives.
 
Names are very personal links to who we are. While the thought of being re-named still feels strange to me, I have a better understanding of what it means to others.
 
Yet, I identify with my given name, no matter what circumstance, situation, or type of relationship I am in. I would feel uncomfortable being re-named, almost as if being made to change my identity. Perhaps I’m just hard-headed in that respect.
 
LOL, or maybe I’m just old-fashioned. Being Scottish, our tradition is to name one’s first daughter after her grandmother. That tradition was passed on in my family. So my mother was named after her grandmother, I am named after my grandmother, and my daughter is named after her grandmother. That’s the name on our birth certificates and on our death certificates, and is linked to all that we do in our lives, even if we are known to others by different names.



MRandme -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 4:47:24 PM)

Wow, very appropriate for me to see this thread today. i was fortunate enough to see my Master today and to be accepted as His slave. i've been His sub for about 8 weeks, but felt the need to be more.

So one of the things that happened today was that He renamed me.  g, as in the letter g.

Now, it made sense to me that He would do that... i'm not the person i was 8 weeks ago or even last week... i am a new person, with a new name. That He gave me the name makes me feel owned, helps me know i belong to Him and gives me warm fuzzies.

Renaming can be a symbol of a new start, a new life -- that's only one reason to do it.

g



RRafe -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 5:04:59 PM)

You can give a girl names for any number of reasons. I came up with one for a girl who wanted to feel objectified. I had a special way of granting this one. Ceremony? Sort of, I guess. I'm not real big on drama and protocols-keep it simple.  I had her on the bondage table-this sort of padded affair. legs up to a suspended spreader bar-three fingers up her ass, stretching and fucking her. I liked to hear her grunt when I did that.........[;)] I found it amusing.......

Anyhow, as she is clenching my digits...Squirming and grunting away like a little piggie, I come up with an inspiration.

"I like this nice tight ring of yours-from now on, your name is "ring", when I want you to be my sex toy."   She started laughing.......well, it WAS sort of ironic. That I was basically calling her "asshole" to instigate play time-but I guess she liked my sense of humor-she never saw it as a BAD thing.[:)]



gentlestarZR -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 5:05:44 PM)

i gotta say my slave name is "petal" thats whats on the tag on my collar atleast :}

it was awhile after we collared that he gave me the name .. definatly didnt do that fast ..
no need to rush it .. let him get to know you better and know your personality better before he names you
atleast thats what i think.



Decimus -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/16/2007 5:54:41 PM)

I don't know if you consider it a slave name or a nick name but Aerith calls me puppy because it fits my personality.



Willowmoon -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/17/2007 5:07:39 AM)

Thank you everybody for your thoughts on this topic.

I understand people saying let him get to know better but one thing i must say is he already knows me better then most people in my life, he has been my friend for quite a long time.

I like the idea of him giving me a name for the time I am with him if a Master is the future wants to give me a new name then that will be his choice. Being with Sir at the moment is a fresh start and to go along with that I think a new name would help.

Willow



Celeste43 -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/17/2007 7:45:38 AM)

He did but only for a role play thing we were doing. I was having trouble handling it and he thought that if I had a different name, maybe I could divorce myself from the troubling emotions. Unfortunately it didn't work but we did solve the problem another way.



xoxi -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/17/2007 10:54:36 AM)

It's something I've never had but would definitely like...I play computer games with my man because we are long distance and when we're doing that he calls me a derivitive of my character's name...and I like it because it's a name that he gave me...that he uses with me.  Even other people in the game call my character her name until I tell them my nickname...it just feels *special* you know?

When a parent names their child, it's not just a label to call them...it represents their hopes and dreams and aspirations for that child.  I knew a girl named Faith who came from a very Christian family...her sisters were Hope and Charity and her brother was Peter.  And a mother who names her daughter Desiree will probably have a different motivation than one who names her Jaime - one connotes passionate beauty (or a stripper) and the other connotes a successful glass ceiling breaker.

Obviously I would think my man has different ideas of me than my mother does (I hope!) so for him to re-name me is like being reborn as his girl rather than my parents' daughter.  It's way intimate and something I would see happening during a collaring ceremony or even your marriage if you plan on marrying.  Then the only thing left to decide is whether you will legally change it or have it a name only he knows.  [8D]



BoundDragon -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/17/2007 11:55:42 AM)

I would love him to have his own little name for me.. I have had so many nicknames in my everyday life but none have them have ever meant anything and everybody used them.

I'd love to have a name that only he uses.

Once someone said they saw me as a "Raine" as a spin off from rain... still wild & free and so natural & fresh.
I just laughed it off but the name has really struck a cord with me....

Maybe some day I'll be his "Little Raine"

**sighs & starts to daydream**



KiandPhoenix -> RE: Being given a slave name - reasons? (10/17/2007 1:57:03 PM)

I gave Phoenix the name "Phoenix", and once she heard why she ran with the idea. When I found her, her life was in ruin, she was in an abusive situation, leaving her husband, and having to start over from scratch. She had to pretend to be someone she was not for five years with him, and had never had a real chance to get to know who she was. I felt it was a life that had been burnt to ashes, and she was being born again. She had to build a new life from the remnants of those ashes, and become a new person.

~Ki



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