quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

She desires punishment, yet she is well behaved?

I agree; I've never encountered this type of desire.  I can rationally see where it's coming from (maybe on par with the concept of sticking pins in one's body, to relieve pain? LOL)  More seriously, I am guessing that she has a powerful drive to be made to fear and respect the person she serves (she nods as she reads me writing this between my hands) and that fear and respect encourage her to obey (as does her desire to please me, from a more emotional level.) Does this possibly stem in part from the fact that is is a relatively new relationship?  For many of us, security comes not just from knowing where the boundaries are, but in testing them to make sure they hold firm.  Something on the order of "Is he reallllllllllllllly strong enough, consistent enough, that I can relax and simply "be" within those lines?"  I personally am that way in my relationship, but am horrified at the prospect of failin, disappoing, or "breaking the rules", which makes it darn difficult to get comfortable and secure.  In my case, this manifests differently than in a desire for punishment, but then, I've seen this particular internal dynamic manifest in several different ways in different people/relationships.
 
Yet without feeling the growl and bite from disobedience, she's left to wonder if there really are any teeth to those rules and expectations (more nodding.)  And possibly a little fearful of what might happen is she ever did truly transgress ina serious manner?  It would be quite natural, IMO, to long to know just how deeply the teeth would bite, so as to be able to think, "OK, if I ever really screw up, this is what it would be like, and I know I could survive it."
 
And, because she does love and care for me, emotionally, she's even further driven to obey - thus leaving her incapable of willingly disobeying me to a degree where she'd be punished for a transgression.  Charlotte, I can sooooooo relate to you there.

I can't imagine how this could be confusing to anyone.  [:D] (and yes, we're both laughing.) You two are an inspiration and thing of beauty to behold - JMO, ought to be everyone elses, too.
 
I'm going to go give this some more thought, and see if I can come up with anything constructive to offer.
 
Regards -
 
Grace


Stephan

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Perhaps a regular maintenance spanking is in order.

I have instituted these with my slave and she seems to find reassurance in them--a reminder of her place and of the boundaries I have defined for her.

Technically it is not punishment, as there is no sin to expiate.  However, it may give her what she needs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

Well i had to dig to find this thread again so sorry for bringing it back up but i wanted to come back and thank you all for your input. I have not had time in the last few days to come online and read the rest of the responses so i'm sorry i did not respond to questions asked of me. I will not continue the discussion as i think a lot of good stuff was said and i'm not trying to drag anything on but i felt the need to say thank you to all who contributed because it has helped me feel a lot less alone in these feelings i have that i have not been able to explain or understand very well.

We are still talking about it and things are progressing. Perhaps being chained to his bed every night has been helping me remember my place. tee hee...that gives me the idea for a fun little post.

His charlotte