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RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 7:52:25 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

I'm with the others who've said along the lines of why should my sex life and private life be the business of my work or co-workers? I'm far from ashamed of my life and socialization choices, but as far as I'm concerned it's no one's business save those I choose to tell of it.


I agree with this and others. There is a big difference between something coming out naturally to me and either initiating a conversation or doing something to be noticed. For me personally only, intentionally drawing attention to oneself is not a good trait to live by.

The fact is even unintentional which it is to all of us, to talk about the way we live comes off to others who are different in a preachy/self important vibe I think is nice to avoid. Nobody likes to talk to zealots who seem to turn everything into the topic they are zealot about and to me broadcasting my way of life would appear to come off in this manner.

I do not hide my preferences in life and am open about my bisexuality and will come forward with my power exchange parts if I think it is important. I just do not need to talk about or others to know about them in general. As others have said, I do not need to know the pet names of significant others, sex life and the power dynamic of other people I know, so why would they want to know mine.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 7:56:17 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?


it depends on the job and the employer's requirements for an individual to keep that job.  how much fraternizing is tolerated or required?
 
some folks have the sort of job that has a keg in the breakroom...tapped every day from 4-6.
 
this slave's "job" is making sure Master is pleased(and not just sexually)...it pleases Him for His slave to talk about her job...especially with vanillas.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 11:06:59 AM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Because what goes on in my private life isn't really relevant at all to my work place.

I'm not at all ashamed of my lifestyle, and I am very "out". 

Being "out" however, doesn't mean  that I feel the need to out myself to absolutely everyone I know. If somehow that line of conversation comes up, I'm not terribly inclined to hide anything... but at work, those convesations just don't really come up, and don't need to. :)


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 11:58:07 AM   
missbehaeven


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings all,
 
I work with really, really great colleagues.
We socialize at times together, and there are one or two I consider friends outside of work.
I'm sure they'd all be supportive of choices I make, but bottom line is when your work area involves a large group as mine does, one person knowing inevitably becomes two, becomes four, etc, and face it, gossip happens.
While there is no morality clause in my employment contract, I prefer not to be lunchtime chat fodder.
If/when I meet someone I'm serious about, I'll let people know, but keep the details to a bare minimum.
 
Stay safe, all..miss

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 12:03:03 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		People in my line of work would equate bdsm with child molestation or something equally ridiculous, and honestly, it's none of their business.  Other than that, I believe it's bad form to put someone that would have a strong negative reaction to it in that position.
l

(in reply to missbehaeven)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 12:15:49 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?

I talk about very little of my personal life at work.  Why would I want to discuss this "lifestyle" with them?  I don't care what they do and they don't care what I do, especially any sexual aspects.  I tend to see it from another perspective.  Anyone who feels the compulsion to tell everyone their intimate escapades - BDSM lifestyle or not - has some issues.  The rest of the world isn't as into me as I am.  They probably don't care at all.  And....with people being as close-minded and judgmental as they can be, why would I open myself up to such scrutiny about anything in my private life?   I catch enough hell for my anti-Bush, anti-war bumperstickers .  I really don't want them debating whether or not I should call my SO "Master"...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 12:17:08 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine

Because what goes on in my private life isn't really relevant at all to my work place.

I'm not at all ashamed of my lifestyle, and I am very "out". 

Being "out" however, doesn't mean  that I feel the need to out myself to absolutely everyone I know. If somehow that line of conversation comes up, I'm not terribly inclined to hide anything... but at work, those convesations just don't really come up, and don't need to. :)


........ditto........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to iammachine)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 12:22:44 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I teach adult education with students from 18 to 60. Of course they see me as a free spirit. Some even probably suspect that I might be a little freaky. the young ones dont want to know about someone my age. They see me like a Mom. But I would never want them to know because many are uneducatedabout what BDSM is about and they would be scared. I wouldnt want that for my students.


I've run into my students at kink events before. They weren't scared and they didn't run around telling folks either.

I publish under my real name so any student could look up my books online. So what? They are supposed to be adults after they can start dealing with the adult world and part of that is recognizing that some things in some contexts are none of your damned business. I don't ask them about their sex lives (unless they come to me to report a rape, which has happened, then only to get them to the proper help) they shouldn't be asking about mine.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 2:15:47 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I tend to wonder more about why someone would choose to make a statement about it.   I don't ask to know what other people are doing in their bedrooms.  I don't expect that they ask about mine.  It is not a matter of being ashamed, it is a matter of being discrete with my sexual self.  Is that ever an issue with nillas?
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 2:17:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Seems to be My day to go against the grain.
 
I actually do talk about My private life at work.  Some of My co-workers know that I'm in the lifestyle.  Some of them have even met My husband and My boy because every now and again, the work folks will go out and do something just for fun.  Just the normal hang out, bring your spouse kind of stuff.  When that happens, and it fits the schedules, all three go.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 2:30:37 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		well i work in a christian based company where the owners dont allow you to smoke, dont want you to have sex prior to marriage etc.....(i'm not coming out here no way no how) no offense to anyone).  I hate being this coservative. 

~meticulous~

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 3:36:50 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?



Being the smart-ass that I am, people quickly learn not to take me overly serious.  As a result, I could make a real or facetious comment about my sex life, my underwear, my invisible friend, my family, or anything I want, really...and no one believes me.

And then when they realize a few of the so-called facetious comments are true they just label me weird and leave me alone.  Which is, as Bill Cosby once said about going back to bed, is what I wanted in the first place...!


_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 3:50:56 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

...  Then there are those that have to work within a morality clause or lose their job.


I am one of those.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 3:57:08 PM   
Mercurialdame


Posts: 66
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Because Dnomyar.
Its not any of their business. Unless its you im playing with, you dont need to know.
Thats a pov for vanilla or kink in my book. My private life, is just that, private.

To give credit to what it is that i do, id have to fully explain things to the person.
Do i need to do that? Nope
Do i want to do that? Nope
Can i be bothered to even try therefor? Nope

I see a VAST difference in kink to lifestyle. Just coz you have some fluffy cuffs that came with a box of chocolates does not equate that you understand the way i prefer my power exchange.

mercurialdame

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 4:12:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't really desire to share what movies I went to see with my co workers.  To discuss the personal dynamics of my relationship is WAY not on the list.

It's not about shame, it's just about me, I do not desire to make my co workers into my friends.  I am forced to be friendly with them and make them feel friendly and share to a certain extent so that I am labeled a "good team player" and all that, but it's not a desire at all.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Mercurialdame)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 5:46:45 PM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		I don't see why anyone should ever feel the need to "come out" for any reason. I am what I am, you are what you are and either we accept each other and can work together or not. I really don't care about kink, identity, race, sexuality or anything else especially as it relates to work. I do not feel the need to discuss my private life with co-workers nor do I expect them to discuss theirs with me. 

_____________________________

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~Joseph W. Bean~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 7:35:49 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

My Master works for the government and on the forms He had to fill out before He became an employee stated "Do you or have you ever participated in Sado/Masochistic practices"?.


Wow, is it even legal to ask that?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to slaveelle)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 7:41:35 PM   
PryderiLoup


Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I heard, from someone who works for the same company, that someone else in that company had been fired for appearing on collarme. I took my pic down in 5 minutes


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 7:45:43 PM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline 		My one job most of the co-workers know about me, but that because at the time I started there I had three relatives who knew about me and we would have discussions, unfortunately one of them can't keep his mouth shut so then everyone knew.   So at that job its all good.  My other job it would get me into a bit of trouble though one of the girls has said my last Dom "looks like the type of freak that would love to beat you".  All I could do was smile at that.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Work Problems - 10/16/2007 7:55:14 PM   
Powerman40


Posts: 510
Joined: 7/11/2006
Status: offline 		I work for the government and I certainly cannot disclose my private life in any way or form with co-workers. I supervize far too many to have that type of discloser and under the clause of employement I would violate the so called (moral standard of government employment).

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 40
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