RE: Work Problems (Full Version)

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TankII7871 -> RE: Work Problems (10/16/2007 8:11:10 PM)

Well where i work everyone has at least an idea of my lifestyle.  Some of the other people are lifestyle aswell.  I have even had long talks with a few about my lifestyle including some of the guys wanting to know how to keep two women in the same house.  But of course i own the company so i cant be fired.  One shapes their life to suit themselfs.

Eric



lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: Work Problems (10/16/2007 8:14:05 PM)

in a way it is true the saying there is a time and place for everythign and another thing i think about is if i know you and i love you all as freinds im not going to hid it but im not going to put it out there and force you all to live with it atleast in my work space .

puppy



TheGorenSociety -> RE: Work Problems (10/16/2007 8:46:03 PM)

Yes their is a form when you seek out employment to certain government agencies that requires a sharp clearance.  It has all kinds of information requests.The really bad part is if you say yes, you are screwed, if you say no and they find out  and they will find out you are screwed even more. The federal government can violate the employment act any time they want by simply stating the job is such that it requires to comply with the national security act.



themischievous1 -> RE: Work Problems (10/16/2007 10:43:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?

In my line of work, S & M and power exchange dynamics are considered abusive, whether consensually engaged in or not. My company would quietly suggest that I depart, were my interests in wiitwd to become known to others in management, and I can also be certain that word would spread and there would be no future positions in this field for me.

When I became aware of just how serious the threat of coming out of the closet was and is, my pictures on this site and others were instant history. And it will stay that way until well into the future while my career is in the process of becoming firmly established.



InkedMaster -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 3:40:34 AM)

I don't flaunt my lifestyle or beliefs in the workplace, course if asked, I will answer a question but I'm not going to go into any lurid detail. But as previously mentioned, alot of companies now have morality clauses. 



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 3:52:51 AM)

I don't mean to sound paranoid about it, but I have a great job in a well respected career field that I don't want to compromise. Competition is always present and it comes down to subtle factors. Personality and getting along means much, but being outside of the norm is too much of a liability for some bosses in their minds at least. What we all do is often a case of being uniform to the image desired.



justinlee37 -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 4:33:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Powerman40

I work for the government and I certainly cannot disclose my private life in any way or form with co-workers. I supervize far too many to have that type of discloser and under the clause of employement I would violate the so called (moral standard of government employment).


"moral standard of government employment"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Those hypocrites.




Kalista07 -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 4:57:06 AM)

i have to agree with the dark, here.  i'm not sure what it has to do with my job or my status as an employee. Furthermore, i think in the position i have at work (a therapist supervisor) it is very dangerous for me to appear as though 'm endorsing a certain lifestyle or anything like that. 
But, could just be me,
Kali



missturbation -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 5:46:39 AM)

The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?
No, just as in any other area of my life (except one) i am open about who and what i am. Funnily enough just yesterday my recent photo shoot album was doing the rounds at work.
 
I would say though that the choice to be open about your lifestyle is one to be thought about carefully. If information could be detrimental to my career then i would keep it to myself. If info could hurt or offend, again i would keep it to myself.



EclipseAbove -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 8:45:21 AM)

The last place I worked was very progressive and accepting (mostly call center ops).  I could have come to work in assless leather chaps and no one would have blinked an eye.  But I still kept my personal life to myself mainly because I don't believe personal lives belong at the workplace any more than work belongs at the beach while you are on vacation.  My slave is an attorney and depending on the "rules" are interpreted, she could be disbarred if anyone finds out that she is kinky.  But that doesn't stop us from going to local clubs and events in full fetish outfits on a regular basis.  So I guess we aren't in the closet, but remain mostly discreet.



tactileartist -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 11:18:15 AM)

Coming out at work is not a one-size-fits-all circumstance.  Some poeple get to work with wonderful like-minded people.  I just want those of you blessed with that situation to know: I hate you all. [sm=biggrin.gif]

Most of us, however, have to work with idiots.  The number of people who have vast misunderstandings about what "kinky" is frightening.  Most of them are the "I know what I know" types, and trying to teach them differently is like trying to teach a pig to sing (wastes your time and annoys the pig).  The others who are open to learning new things... frankly, I'd rather focus on doing my job than spending hours a week doing educational seminars and lectures on company time.

Some industries are more conservative than others by nature, and some companies benefit from having "exotic" type employees.  Working in a bank is a far cry from working in a more art-focused industry.

Plausible deniability is another thing to consider, as well as if you're on the work site or off.  Being at the water cooler is a different social setting than being out for drinks after work at the nearest jazz bar.

Also, there's the healthy boundaries issue.  I've noticed this in other communities as well - fandom, religious, etc. - where it's generally a bad idea to "inflict" your personal life on people who are frightened by it.  On the other end of this spectrum, when you discuss your personal life at work, you invite others to discuss theirs with you.  This becomes problematical when you have a co-worker who believes "any time is a good time to talk about Jesus!", because you've just invited him to babble at you for hours.

:: shrugs ::

YMMV, I have never worked in Human Resources, 47, and ice cream don't have no bones.



akisha -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 11:30:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?


I'm not ashamed about who I am in the least. But who I am and what I do in my personal life is no ones business at work.

I'm in a management position and I work with all men in the Oil & Gas Industry. Do you think it would help my authoritative position to tell all the men I oversee that I'm a submissive? Hell no!!!  The comments and innuendos are blatant as it is, it would get worse and make my job that much harder. I don't need that kind of BS at work.

A few ppl here do know, but they also know better then to mess with me. 

Work is work and home is home. Two totally different set of rules.

One of my freinds that knows me as a submissive came to work with me and noticed the personality difference between office and private immediately. Every situation calls for it's own set of guidelines. To be honest, I don't belive anyone should bring their private life into their professional life.

But it is also one of the reasons why I would never be involved with someone I work with.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 11:42:15 AM)

I tend to be quite private about what goes on behind my closed doors.  I was the same way when I was living in a non-D/s marriage.  It has nothing to do with being ashamed and everything to do with being very selective about who I let into my world, and how far in they are allowed, regardless of whether or not they live a D/s life.

Edited to add:  And for what it's worth, I have lost a job because of my D/s involvement.  Don't think it can't happen.



jesiul -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 11:55:27 AM)

For each person the reason or reasons for not “coming out” in any aspect of their life, is personal. I would never tell my sons, parents or work place about my chosen lifestyle.

The main reason I would not give this information is frankly I don think its anyone’s business what I do, how I do it and with whom. However, the over riding factor I would never come out in the work place is that it would be near impossible to hold the position I do and openly admit to being a submissive. Somehow I don’t see the owner of the business having confidence in me as his CEO, if I stated “I am a submissive and a masochist.” The very connotation to this would be that I am weak and would buckle under an onslaught of male aggression, the fact that I run a company of over 200 employees’ mostly male would have me seeing a pink slip in a hurry.

Few in the vanilla world would be able to translate the thought that a submissive woman is not passive nor is she submissive to all men.



LadyAngelique01 -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 1:18:21 PM)

For me work is work, private life is private. I don't go out of my way to keep my lifestyle a secret, but I don't advertise either. Keeps life simpler.



XianDominSJ -> RE: Work Problems (10/17/2007 9:46:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meticulousgirl
well i work in a christian based company where the owners dont allow you to smoke, dont want you to have sex prior to marriage etc.....(i'm not coming out here no way no how) no offense to anyone).  I hate being this coservative. 


Unless you signed a morality clause in some employment contract, this is totally illegal. For example, if the employer finds out you have a boyfriend or traveled to see someone and inquires something like, "Were you having sex with [that person]?" then they are a creating a "hostile environment" (a term which makes lawyers see dollar signs).  If you're facing discrimination or a hostile environment, see a lawyer... you'll make his/her day.  Smoking bans are new, but seem to be tolerated in the courts and thus an increasing number of employers are laying the foundations for non-smoking as a condition of employment.



CuriousLord -> RE: Work Problems (10/18/2007 12:59:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?


There are a lot of prejustices out there to avoid.  And, sometimes, it's just easier to keep things hidden than to have to deal with the hateful, fearful nature of others.



eyesopened -> RE: Work Problems (10/18/2007 2:15:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelique01

For me work is work, private life is private. I don't go out of my way to keep my lifestyle a secret, but I don't advertise either. Keeps life simpler.


when my ums were little i would hide the fact that they existed, especially when interviewing for a job because right or wrong, employers tend to think a single mother is an attendence problem.  So i learned to not take my personal life with me to work and not take my work life home with me.  For me, that's worked out best.



MercTech -> RE: Work Problems (10/18/2007 5:45:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It seems when it comes to their work a lot of people are in the closet about this lifestyle. You don't have to be that open about it and put it in someons face. Why be ashamed of it. It is something you do outside of the workplace. Why try to live up to someone elses morals. The question is do you feel that you should stay in the closet about your lifestyle in the workplace?


Why should my lifestyle, avocations, hobbies, or choice in movies, books, or magazines be any business of my boss or any of my co-workers?  If they aren't involved on a personal level with me, my personal stuff is nothing they should be concerned with.

Stefan



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