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Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/16/2007 11:27:27 AM   
nonu


Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
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This may have been shared before, but anyway, for those who haven't read it before, here goes...


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."


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We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...
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RE: Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/16/2007 2:20:47 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline
I don't think I have seen that one here, but seen it in other places. pretty amusing

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to nonu)
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RE: Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/16/2007 4:38:25 PM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline
If you are a psychiatrist put the phone down and recognise its you who are making things worse.

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RE: Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/16/2007 5:54:43 PM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline
If you into BDSM, please spank the phone until it rings in delight.

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The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~Joseph W. Bean~

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RE: Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/17/2007 7:47:46 AM   
nonu


Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

If you are a psychiatrist put the phone down and recognise its you who are making things worse.


quote:

ORIGINAL: sundownhawk

If you into BDSM, please spank the phone until it rings in delight.


Thank you for those wonderful additions!


_____________________________

We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...

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RE: Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/17/2007 12:08:05 PM   
jesiul


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline
This is too funny.. made me think of all the times i have had to wade through those answering services and then end up somewhere in India, after pressing the button for English

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RE: Answering Service at Mental Institute - 10/17/2007 7:29:58 PM   
mischievousone


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline
lol, nice.

(in reply to jesiul)
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