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ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 12:38:44 PM

serisa

Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

hi, W/we all know from recent threads etc etc that sometimes subs/slaves are asked to be shared with other Dominants and usually if the sub has a problem with this it is often because poly has been agreed upon as a hard limit or the issue was never discussed at the outset of the relationship.
are their any subs/slaves however who have agreed to poly as a hard limit been asked to go with another Dom as a one off not to be done again for example to prove your submission/total submission? if refused what was the outcome for the relationship?
are there any Masters who have asked of this as a one off ?

thank Y/you

Post #: 1

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 12:41:15 PM

ultimatesubbie

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline

That happened to me many years ago. I was married to my Dom who knew that was my hard limit and he brought someone home to the house. Afterwards, it completely destroyed my trust in him and we ultimately divorced.

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 2

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 12:46:12 PM

serisa

Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

thanks... that must have been hard particularly as you were married also, did he actually try to persuade you that it would be the only time and wouldnt happen again ?

(in reply to ultimatesubbie)

Post #: 3

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 12:55:21 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I don't really understand the expression "a one off" (that must be a British thing), but here goes anyway.

A sub should be wary of a dom who wants her to sleep with someone else if the reason is to "prove" her submission. That's stupid. If he wants her to do it because he'll enjoy it, it will turn him on, he finds it erotic, then whatever, it's up to her to decide whether she can accept it and possibly even get something out of it. But it's no way to "prove" submission. It doesn't prove anything. Someone could do that without being the least bit submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

are their any subs/slaves however who have agreed to poly as a hard limit been asked to go with another Dom as a one off not to be done again for example to prove your submission/total submission? if refused what was the outcome for the relationship?
are there any Masters who have asked of this as a one off ?

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 4

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 1:16:03 PM

serisa

Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't really understand the expression "a one off" (that must be a British thing), but here goes anyway.

A sub should be wary of a dom who wants her to sleep with someone else if the reason is to "prove" her submission. That's stupid. If he wants her to do it because he'll enjoy it, it will turn him on, he finds it erotic, then whatever, it's up to her to decide whether she can accept it and possibly even get something out of it. But it's no way to "prove" submission. It doesn't prove anything. Someone could do that without being the least bit submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

are their any subs/slaves however who have agreed to poly as a hard limit been asked to go with another Dom as a one off not to be done again for example to prove your submission/total submission? if refused what was the outcome for the relationship?
are there any Masters who have asked of this as a one off ?

apoligies to anyone who doesnt understand the term one off. Just means something that will or should only happen once, not to be asked of you again, in this case for example, your Dom might say he will only ask you to go with another Dom once and if that is acheived he will not ask you to do it ever again

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 5

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 1:24:52 PM

onegoodgirl

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

Although personally I'm well known as someone who would do anything clearly outlined as a hard limit just to please a Dominant ::cough::b*llsh*t::cough::......

Poly, whether once or many times.. is moot without all parties eager, or at least willing.

_____________________________

"This aint a scene.. it's a god-damned arms race!" - Fall Out Boy

http://www.myspace.com/bellaemiliana

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 6

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 4:36:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well did the people involved simply not ever think this situation would come up, or was the dom lying? Anytime a dom tries to push something not clearly understood when the commitment was made and which is obviously a sensitive area for the sub emotionally you're getting into very questionable territory.

Ultimately you decide whether this will be true to yourself or not, and the consequences it entails.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to onegoodgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 6:47:32 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Would you believe him if he said it was a one time only? After all, he's already lied about never asking this of you. Personally, I'd think it would be anything but a one off (nice term, new to me) and I'd decline - probably loudly and vociferously including throwing his stuff out the door.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/16/2007 9:29:44 PM

slaveelle

Posts: 116
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline

Prove your submission by sleeping with another dominant? What an absurb thing to say or even suggest. How on earth can that act make him beleive it would make you more submissive. If you have outlined your hard limits then they should be respected and you sleeping with another dom dosnt prove anything. All i see is a huge red flag going up here.

_____________________________

"No bond is stronger than that of the Beast"

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 9

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 5:32:23 AM

gentlestarZR

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

hmm my submission is for Master alone . . i'm glad tha he is possessive of me and doesnt want to just share me ..
my gift wouldnt be special if i jsut gave it up to anyone ..

(in reply to slaveelle)

Post #: 10

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 5:35:33 AM

littleone484

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/24/2007
Status: offline

ultimatly your submission is for Him to do with as He chooses...
when u have developed the extra level of obedience needed
u would just trust that he would not put u in danger, and do...
my thoughts only

stay well...

(in reply to gentlestarZR)

Post #: 11

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 5:49:53 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

hi, W/we all know from recent threads etc etc that sometimes subs/slaves are asked to be shared with other Dominants and usually if the sub has a problem with this it is often because poly has been agreed upon as a hard limit or the issue was never discussed at the outset of the relationship.
are their any subs/slaves however who have agreed to poly as a hard limit been asked to go with another Dom as a one off not to be done again for example to prove your submission/total submission? if refused what was the outcome for the relationship?
are there any Masters who have asked of this as a one off ?

thank Y/you

This as a whole is incredibly stupid. You sleeping with this other Dom may prove your submission to your own, but it also proves that your own really doesn't care about limits you have. Does that seem right to you? Can you continue in this relationship knowing this?

Oh, and to answer the question: No, I've never asked this as a "one off". I am poly so I would never agree to or be with someone who would try to limit me. And I really don't see a need to test my girls submission. It reeks of insecurity.

< Message edited by MrDiscipline44 -- 10/17/2007 5:54:56 AM >

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 12

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 11:37:36 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

well to be honest i think it's a totally hot idea but know that it would never happen and btw totally hot as long as the person is ssc.

~meticulous~

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 13

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 11:40:13 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

yes, similar to ultimatesubbie.

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 12:21:08 PM

serisa

Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

I see what You are saying it would not be a 'submissive' thing to do, sleep with or scene with or anything else with another Dom. i guess if i said yes though, it would be a submissive thing for myself to agree to as i dont desire to do anything with anyone else but my Dom. He is all my wants, needs and desires so if i were to say yes it would only be to please him, not at all for my own enjoyment, i would hate it.... and he knows it would be like that.
so, rightly or wrongly, unfair it may be or not i guess for me personally if i was to do it, it would be the ultimate test of submission other than something completely stupid that i would never dream of doing i.e rob a bank !

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't really understand the expression "a one off" (that must be a British thing), but here goes anyway.

A sub should be wary of a dom who wants her to sleep with someone else if the reason is to "prove" her submission. That's stupid. If he wants her to do it because he'll enjoy it, it will turn him on, he finds it erotic, then whatever, it's up to her to decide whether she can accept it and possibly even get something out of it. But it's no way to "prove" submission. It doesn't prove anything. Someone could do that without being the least bit submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

are their any subs/slaves however who have agreed to poly as a hard limit been asked to go with another Dom as a one off not to be done again for example to prove your submission/total submission? if refused what was the outcome for the relationship?
are there any Masters who have asked of this as a one off ?

apoligies to anyone who doesnt understand the term one off. Just means something that will or should only happen once, not to be asked of you again, in this case for example, your Dom might say he will only ask you to go with another Dom once and if that is acheived he will not ask you to do it ever again

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 15

RE: ever happened to you? - 10/17/2007 4:05:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well that brings up the question- why do you think asking you to do something physically risky, emotionally distressing and something you consider to violate the connection have together to be within the realm of reasonability, but taking money from a bank to be nothing to dream of?

What really is the difference to you?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 16

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