RE: BDSM Rules Help Vanilla Relationships?

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RE: BDSM Rules Help Vanilla Relationships? - 10/17/2007 9:02:23 AM

RumpusParable

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Actually, based on what you've outlined here, what you're talking about is that BDSM isn't any different and takes from vanilla relationships.

Each of your numbered points were things that are completely and totally normal in a vanilla arrangement.

It was also a good example of pointing out how many of those in the BDSM world like to pretend that there is something special about lifestyle relationships and arrangements... how folks like to pretend that what they are doing with their partner(s) -those three bullet points- is somehow special, different or unusual to make themselves feel all of those compared to others.

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RE: BDSM Rules Help Vanilla Relationships? - 10/17/2007 1:28:31 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

I'm talking about a level of deree, not assuming that Vanilla relationships don't ever negotiate, but simply that the negotiations aren't as formal nor are they quite as widespread as they are in WIIWD.

you are assuming that Vanilla relationship do not discuss and negotiate things in a formal manner.. .which is inaccurate.

You are also assuming that lifestyle relationships only do formal negotiations.. which is also inaccurate.

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RE: BDSM Rules Help Vanilla Relationships? - 10/17/2007 3:31:24 PM

LaTigresse

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I am one of the least formal and least structured people I know, even the word protocol makes me itchy and twitchy. I am a "go with the flow" kind of person.

Yet, I am not happy unless I am the one in control and I love to tie girls up and do wicked things to them.

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RE: BDSM Rules Help Vanilla Relationships? - 10/17/2007 4:25:57 PM

LostMyself

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that's true.. I don't know, I'd decided I wanted to be with a more dominant man who could appreciate my more submissive nature before I ever got into BDSM.. I'd been in a very controlling vanilla relationship before that.. it sucked.

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