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self-masochism? - 10/17/2007 6:40:51 AM

probablyknowme

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I have noticed that when I am without a Top/Dom/pick your word, that is the time that I have gotten my tattoos and piercings. Now while I know, now, that this is probably me satisfying my own need for physical sensation, a way for me to get the yummy endorphins that I enjoy so much, while it is happening, I haven't ever considered it; I rationalize it away.

I was wondering, if anyone else is experiencing this form of self-masochism or something similiar?

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/17/2007 6:52:24 AM

HisXshadow

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It's not unheard of. You didn't mention anything about an emotional need for the sensations, but I will relate my experience with this which *is* based on an emotional need.

I had a friend who used to be a cutter, he turned that need into a more healthy outlet which was tatoos, piercings and suspensions.

I myself need more masochistic sensation when I am feeling emotionally *disconnected* and if I go too long without it, I get urges to self harm. I've never acted on them, as thankfully, Master and I got together before those urges manifested themselves in action and now Master gives me what I need. My masochistic tendencies are not *all* based on my emotional need, I'm not using my relationship as strictly therapeutic, but it does have that component.

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/17/2007 9:13:02 AM

Missokyst

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Yep. I used to be a cutter. Well, technically I am still a cutter I just have that under control. But when I am feeling out of sorts that need returns big time. Since I do have that in control for now it takes other turns, sometimes not of my choosing.
I did get a tat after my breakup. Whew.. it took a few hours and it was very calming for a week or so. And odd accidents happen when I am really stressing. Like accidentally stepping on a hot BBQ coal that had fallen on the porch. Or having bottles jump off shelves and fall on my foot. I figure it is negative energy filling in the gap that the positive energy left.
What ever it is, I probably do more damage to myself accidentally or by design than any partner I have had over my life.
Kyst

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/17/2007 9:20:43 AM

RumpusParable

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I've not done those particular ways (despite being quite pierced and currently working on my own scarification designs). Nor do my urges go up when I don't have a top, they stay about the same.

But I do crave to indulge my own masochistic urges -whether or not I have an active top (which I do). I've not made arrangements but have long been considering how to do so in the way that would satisfy me most. I've long felt a tingle at the self-flaggelation practices of early priests and such and am thinking I may go that route.

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/17/2007 11:26:25 AM

HopeLost

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i was thinking the exact same thing yesterday. its time for a new piercing!

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/17/2007 12:54:59 PM

probablyknowme

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lmao, cause that is exactly why I asked this...off to the piercer's on monday!

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/18/2007 5:26:03 AM

petdave

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Similar and different... i've done piercings for an endorphin fix (i do my own), i've cut and done piercings to relieve emotional stress (completely different thing, IMO), but in terms of "masochism"... it hardly seems worth the bother of taking advantage of myself unless there's some pain involved- clamps, TENS, pain bondage, heavy vacuum play... Whatever i'm obsessed with at the moment.

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/19/2007 8:06:04 PM

piigwh0re

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When I am feeling stress I use any toy I can to help relieve the stress. Floggers, clamps, paddles or canes. I have recently turned to some cutting. I do that most when I am missing my Master.

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RE: self-masochism? - 10/19/2007 10:05:54 PM

adoracat

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i'm a cutter who still struggles with it. i have a wonderfully fulfilling relationship with Daddy. i have a dysfunctional in some ways marriage. therefore i struggle with cutting.

kitten

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