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RE: total/complete submission - 10/19/2007 8:18:05 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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For some it's absolute obedience even to unsafe demands, to others it's total service even if doing so impacts their own lives negatively. To us it is emotional transparency, meaning trusting him with my fears, my anxieties, and every other negative emotion. It also includes telling him to get off my computer because he's been on it constantly playing the same level in the same game, and letting him know I want it for an hour. He can go check his email and play different games on his computer.

As you see, it can be healthy or unhealthy and it can vary tremendously from one relationship to another.

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/20/2007 7:06:21 AM

Vanatru

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Joined: 4/16/2004
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for me, it's a woman that focuses on me and my pleasure instead of focusing on herself; that her pleasure comes from seeing to my needs. I tend to steer clear of those claiming to be a natural slave, or wants to give me total control cause either she's really all about herself, she wants all the attention focused on her, and/or I'm gonna have to micromanage her.

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/20/2007 7:14:26 AM

wisteriaV

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Joined: 3/17/2005
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Looks up at her Master Vanatru. Adding to that Master, I have come to be with you almost three years now and during that time the trust has deepened to the point where you do have access to my bank acccounts ect. That type of trust takes time and tons of honest and open communication between those involved. Master knows all my medical stuff, emotional stuff and while I am here to serve him and please HIM in ALL things one thing has stood out. He keeps chocholate in the house for those times of pmsing/menapausal....yep HE is worth all I give to him and more!

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/20/2007 7:20:56 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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Total/complete submission = too much reading at Castle Realm and other romantic based internet D/s fantasy sites. Submissives do the best they can within the realities of life, the ones who are actually living in reality.

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/20/2007 7:51:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV
\\
Looks up at her Master Vanatru. Adding to that Master, I have come to be with you almost three years now and during that time the trust has deepened to the point where you do have access to my bank acccounts ect. That type of trust takes time and tons of honest and open communication between those involved. Master knows all my medical stuff, emotional stuff and while I am here to serve him and please HIM in ALL things one thing has stood out. He keeps chocholate in the house for those times of pmsing/menapausal....yep HE is worth all I give to him and more!

But that's really no different than my sisters relationship with her husband, or my relationship with my partner, and neither of those are Ms.

Again, ACTIONS are not absolute signs of anything. For you it's a symbol of submission. For me it's a sign of togetherness and practical needs of security.

And I disagree on the slave not taking pleasure of her own- most masters want their slaves to focus on their own development growth and happiness in life. Not that they NEED to, simply that it's not a sign of lacking in a slave if she takes her own direct pleasure in doing something.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/20/2007 7:57:47 AM

Vanatru

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quote:

And I disagree on the slave not taking pleasure of her own- most masters want their slaves to focus on their own development growth and happiness in life. Not that they NEED to, simply that it's not a sign of lacking in a slave if she takes her own direct pleasure in doing something.

Maybe you should reread what I said, since that's not what I was saying. sheesh

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/20/2007 11:10:31 AM

wisteriaV

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comment removed by author

< Message edited by wisteriaV -- 10/20/2007 11:13:05 AM >

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/24/2007 5:32:01 AM

MissAnthropic

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/31/2007
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24/7

Was lying in the bath last night pondering some discussions I had had earlier in the day with friends in the unowned subbies room, after shaving my bits as all good subbies do. We were discussing lifestyle versus weekend or part time submission.

I can never explain what submission is as; in my opinion, submission is different for every single submissive. But I can try and explain what my submission is to me. For me submission is not something I can take off when it suits me, it’s a large part of who I am. It is demonstrated in my having children and being their primary caregiver on a daily basis.

What is extraordinary to me is when submission is not 24/7. I simply can’t understand it being sexual only, and not overflowing into other areas of your life, relationships etc. I can’t understand just putting that faith and trust in someone and then just tipping your hat and saying have a nice life and never seeing that person again.

For me, submission is my ideal relationship, finding an honourable Man who I have complete faith and trust in. It’s not about the sex, or about whippings or about wearing silk stocking and corsets and high heels or about being tied up. It’s about finding Someone who I truly love and respect, who I can give my all to. He is the only One who gets to experience all facets of my personality.

There’s a whole lot of difference to a normal orgasm with a partner and an orgasm on several levels, the mind, the heart, the soul and the body. This doesn’t require sex, but is innately sexual. It can be achieved simply by sitting and holding the hand of someone you love. It comes from putting everything you have into that relationship, 100% commitment. Unless you have experienced the pleasure of being kissed by someone who’s only thought was you, your pleasure, your happiness, then you simply haven’t kissed.

Taking it further, having sex with someone, putting your entire body, soul mind and heart onto making that person happy, becomes something much deeper, much richer, much more fulfilling than a simple fuck. It’s not something you can buy. It’s not something you can force to happen. It can only happen with perfect love and perfect trust.

Submission is not a gift, simply put there are strings attached, he must be more than a man, he must be a God. He must be worthy, he must love, he must command respect, he must be honest and he must never let you down. It’s a huge responsibility taking onboard not only your own happiness and welfare but someone else’s. It’s very much like the commitment one takes on being a parent.

Submission goes a long way past adhering to the will of another; it takes a huge level of trust love and commitment. In my opinion that level of commitment takes a great deal of time to build. That much trust in another human being is difficult, because almost all of us have been hurt in the past. Regardless of the other BDSM interests you may enjoy with your Master, you have to trust him to not hurt you, to not take you past your limits be they physical or mental. It is as possible in a vanilla relationship, just rarer as other things take over in your life, kids, friends etc.

Because my submission is such a personal thing to me, I simply can’t switch it on or off. I am lost to imagine it not being something ongoing that is as important to me on Monday morning when I go to work as it was when we made love on Saturday night. Its not just important but the singularly most important thing in my life. It’s truly worth everything to me.

It doesn’t require marriage or a white picket fence or even that the couple live together, just simply that their regard for each other is the most important thing in their lives.

(in reply to wisteriaV)

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RE: total/complete submission - 10/24/2007 6:58:48 AM

Sabella

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Joined: 7/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

But that's really no different than my sisters relationship with her husband, or my relationship with my partner, and neither of those are Ms.

Again, ACTIONS are not absolute signs of anything. For you it's a symbol of submission. For me it's a sign of togetherness and practical needs of security.

And I disagree on the slave not taking pleasure of her own- most masters want their slaves to focus on their own development growth and happiness in life. Not that they NEED to, simply that it's not a sign of lacking in a slave if she takes her own direct pleasure in doing something.

*nods* Self fulfillment is very important IMHO. Also keeps from exhausting the other person's resources and patience if they are the sole source of entertainment/direction/whatevah.

MissAnthropic I enjoyed your post, thank you!

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

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