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dagawdfather -> random jokes (7/30/2005 1:15:41 PM)
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Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the
free peanuts.
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Joke # 3
A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-
faced lady answered. "What party does your husband
belong to?" he asked.
The lady responded curtly, "I sir, am the party he
belongs to."
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Q: How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on
her way to work?
A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything
in it.
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Joke # 4
Oil leak
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement
driveway, she bought a large back of cat litter to soak
it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the
convenience store to get another bag to finish the job.
The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her
purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put
him outside!"
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Joke # 5
Kill someone
After the first week of sex education class, a young
shapely blonde stormed out of the room after the class
was over.
Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend
asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you?
You look as if you're about to kill someone."
"I am!!!" Lori fumed. "You just wait until I catch up
with that Dennis. All summer long, that crook had me
convinced that 'foreplay' was just tossing a coin for
position!"
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Joke # 6
Scottish Couple
A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The
girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like
to hold my hand?"
"Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know?"
She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would
you like to kiss me?"
"Oh, my yes!" replied the boy, "But how did you know?"
She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump, the girl
looked at the boy and asked, "Would you like to go all
the way with me?"
"Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you
know? By the gleam in my eye?"
"No," replied the girl, "by the TILT IN YOUR KILT."
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Q: How does a man know when his wife is losing interest?
A: When her favourite sexual position is next door.
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