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laurell3 -> RE: Directing Your Submissive's Life (10/20/2007 9:56:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan
quote:
Does your question apply to submissives only, or to slaves as well? There is a difference in my theoretical perception of them, and thus there are two different main answers.
The question was about directing a submissive, but if you have insight into the same question as applied to a slave, please give us your thoughts.
The problem Blaakmaan is what's one's submissive is another's slave. Using these terms doesn't necessarily mean to others what you may think. I know plenty of submissives and/or slaves that desire to have at least part of their lives directed, others that do not.
In the simple case of low self-esteem or poor image, that is something I have seen commonly directed, whether the sub/slave agrees or not. Simple nuturing and helping someone see themselves in a different light can go a long way on this point, however, obviously it is up to the person changing themselves in the end.
I don't think you can honestly change something about someone unless they desire the change, so in response to your question about asking what they want to change, it seems you would have to either have their consent or desire in order to truly effect change. However, arguably, every significant relationship changes us by the mere process or accomodating each other, whether that process is intentional or not.
Personally, I have no desire to have someone change my life or change anyone else substantially. Do I challenge the way they think if it's self-deprecating or unhealthy the best I can? Yes.
l
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