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SmokingGun82 -> RE: Brand New... Some Direction? (10/19/2007 7:39:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: abyssgazer
One thing that, at least initially has always appealed to me is being the Master half of a 24/7 heterosexual Master/slave relationship. I think part of my motive is the (somewhat distrubing ?) pleasure I get out of controlling and dominating others, especially sexually, and the prospect of taking a female slave, breaking and humilating her and training her to be almost a human pet (though not quite that mindless, and a loved and cared for one). So my first question is, is that an OK motive?
Sure. Just look for someone who gets off on being controlled, broken, humiliated, and trained. They're out there, and as long as you're not doing anything non-consensual, you're fine.
quote:
ORIGINAL: abyssgazer
In a lot of areas of my life I have had to work hard to restrain my controlling/dominating/sadistic tendencies (because they are clearly socially unacceptable when interacting with most of the people in my life anyway). I kind of thought this type of lifestyle might be a healthy release for them (with a willing partner)... is this the wrong kind of thinking though? If' I'm coming in with these personality traits am I going to make an abusive Master and/or bring out "bad" things in me with my dealings with others?
Wrong is subjective. So is "abusive." From the first thing you said, talking about wanting them to be treated as a cherished pet, it seems unlikely that you'd be abusive. Again, look for someone who's interests match yours, and someone who thinks it's hot when you're sadistic/dominating/controlling, and who knows that they might end up with spankings/etcetera that aren't based on punishment, but rather just because you feel like it.
quote:
ORIGINAL: abyssgazer
Also, I'm not quite sure about how to procede with meeting potential slaves (assuming that's something I want to do)... I mean, even assuming I could find someone interested, it seems like it would be a little crazy for somone to just jump right into a full time slave role (for them)... or is that part of the appeal for some people (taking chances and throwing themselves out into the unknown)? Assuming its not though, than I guess we just talk on here, or whereve we meet for awhile, and then "play" at being Master and slave while we're together untill we feel comfortable with each other?
CM is a good place to start. Just remember, slaves are people too... and there's a huge difference between a slave and YOUR slave. Listen to Hammurabi and treat people as you'd like to be treated, until there's some sort of agreement that it'll be a different way. That's always worked for me, at least.
quote:
ORIGINAL: abyssgazer
A related question is it's expected that I be dominant right from the get go. Despite the things going on in my head, I typically seem pretty unassuming in real life (even shy), except in certain settings. Personally, I'd feel more comfortable easing into a Master type of role as I get to know the person. Is this something that a person thinking about being a slave would typically be turned off by?
It'll be different for every sub/slave, but for the most part people look down upon those who immediately start in with "I am DOM, you shall listen to me!" bullshit. Don't posture- be yourself. Sure, a M/s relationship is different than a vanilla one... but it'd still suck to have to pretend to be something you're not long-term, ya know?
Overall, just listen to yourself. If you like something, then go with it, as long as you're not hurting anyone else (without consent). You might want to try finding a local group, or going to a munch or ten- you might not meet Miss Right, but you might meet some really cool people anyway. And maybe one of them knows your Miss Right. And, of course, some people just really enjoy hanging out with like-minded people.
No matter what, enjoy the search. It's all about the ride, ya know?
Best wishes.
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