cheekybottom
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Joined: 5/28/2005
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Twinning was caused by an urge to bond, usually between two lonely people. Once they “twin,” the two become a “whole”; they become dependent on each other, often obsessively so. Twinning was like an addiction to couple, to belong to a secret club , just two people and no passwords. In its negative form, it was the fusing of two people for their own individual needs, which weren’t mutually healthy.
Quite often there is a Dominant figure in a twinning relationship which put me in mind of how twinning might be reflective of a highly positive and communicative D/s or M/s relationship where they each have a built-in, and very effective, emotional support system often sharing like emotions, feelings, and thoughts and know each other inside and out. Twinning in this situation can create a uniquely powerful structure within which the bonded pair can operate in complex ways.
The Sadist and the masochist have an additional complexity in which they nurture where as the rest of us might only concentrate upon it during acts of correction and guidance which offers a deep sense of loving focused on physical and mental pain much like trauma bonding. They will go through the same programming and torture together, and will feel the bond of “surviving it” together. A “battlefield” mentality may literally develop, as the relationship deepens and you can finally trust them to hurt you and allow being hurt.
Yes we have a deep seated need to twin or to mirror the other. Unfortunately in some cases it becomes an act of desperation where one of the two halves notice the likened image begin to cloud and fade at this point one will begin to make unrealistic changes that are intrinsic to self. Personal convictions get pushed to the side as if they meant so little. Sadly they waste each others time and worse yet place blame on the other instead of taking responsibility for their own image modifications to suit the needs of the other when they should have stood by who they were instead.
I feel that when we want something so deeply in the physical sense and act upon these sensations prematurely the mental side suffers and might not ever have the chance it deserves to develop effectively. To me mirroring is more physical where as twinning is pure mental combine the two and they are unmatchable.
The Dominant and the submissive need to twin, they need each other.
All types of relationships reflect one another to some degree for instance you will always have one who is more Dominant than the other therefore the twinning behavior will be apparent in other intimate affairs as well such as man and wife and or identical twins where they exhibit both interdependent and codependent behaviors. Yes they are two whole people (man and wife, twins, M/s and D/s couples, but they are even more when they are together. quote:
”You complete me.” ~Jerry McGuire However each person should maintain a healthy awareness of who they are separately from the other and be capable and confident of managing their own life for the best relationships come from those who are complete, and own their own power.
If there are any overt developments to be achieved smiles I’ll be my usual self and mention manipulation in the sense that it is used as a development tool (by physical or mental means) pushing the submissive safely to a place not yet journeyed. When done effectively the Dominant is then in complete control which can only be achieved if they are able to read their submissive as if they shared each others minds hence twinning.
Deeper and intense is relative and no easier to accomplish in any given relationship dynamic for they are all based on communication the ability to know the other as if they were the same person. If I were to say twinning would lead to a better longer term D/s and M/s relationships then I’d have to say that of all relationships. However I am of the biased opinion that our lifestyle and kink factor adds dimensions no vanilla relationship could ever touch upon.
I will go on to clarify an important point.
When Dominant and submissive find interest in one another they exchange e-mail, chat, converse on the phone and eventually meet. The emotional and the physical must be present in order to move foreword, but invariably we find that it isn’t as good of a match as one first thought. Two self confident people will chalk it up to a worthwhile try and move on but sometimes one will do what I like to term mirroring where one will let go of personal convictions to better match the other, by doing this not only do they waste each others time but they cheat themselves of a well meaning relationship and habitually blame the other “I gave up and did everything for you, why can’t you make this work like I am trying to do?”
When this is done it becomes the highest form of negative twinning where one tries to mirror the other, become the other so they will better match (when they should be secure in themselves first and foremost) or becomes codependent of one another.
In pure form twinning I feel can become a wonderful melding of two souls each capable of standing freely a spirituality like no other complimenting such that they become one.
Perhaps we don’t need twinning but it happens, and (in my mind) it’s there.
~d~
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Kiss me I'm Irish, Spank me I'm Italian.
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