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LilyOR -> RE: who is (8/1/2005 9:20:36 AM)
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> The biggest difference I have noticed is that because a Dom is biggger and stronger a sub
> thinks twice before he/she pushes a button so to speak. Because Dommes are generally
> smaller and weaker (I mean in areas like a bench press, stuff like that) a sub will want
> something more extreme from her. I have felt really safe and secure with a 6'4" 230 lb man,
> and have had 5'1" women almost make me piss my pants with fear. I know that the Dom
> can physically do anything he wants to me while a Dommes biggest threat is of the
> psychological nature. I'm just guessing here.
I agree that it's possible that given womens (generally) smaller stature and strength, that we may tend to be a little brainier in the way we control our partners. I mean, it's really hard for us to do something like grab a fistful of hair and fling a 6' guy down to the ground, right? I, for one, wouldn't be able to reach it very easily (I'm 5'1), not to mention that a lot of guys wear short hair. So I think I tend to rely on more psychological control. Maybe besides asking "are women crueler/meaner", I'd ask "does a greater reliance on psychological manipulation bring out more aggressive (meaner? crueler? wickeder?) behaviors?. Women do tend to have a more indirect, subtle aproach in some ways than men. But I also think...do male submissive give off cues that are different from female submissives? Yeah, probably. Do they tend to be more "do me" (generally here) than femsubs? Maybe. I agree that the fact that since men are phyically stronger, I for one perceive them as able to be treated more roughly (though deliberately)...that could be part of it for me.
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