RE: The Ex (Full Version)

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TakenPet -> RE: The Ex (10/21/2007 6:24:24 PM)

Windchymes, that is a good one passive aggressive psuedo-adult.  I like that, can I borrow that???
I am not so sure that I would be so quick to react, but I would definately talk to him and if he isn't willing to help you understand or deal with it then maybe you should consider packing it in.




kokonut -> RE: The Ex (10/21/2007 7:55:35 PM)

Talk to him once about it, express your concerns, and then be willing to never discuss it again. The fact that you keep bringing it up is probably fueling his bad reaction, but if you're going to enter into a relationship with this person you've a right to have your concerns addressed. Don't accuse, don't try to be in charge, just tell him that you have something you truly need to talk to him about... if he's worth being with, he'll understand.




Celeste43 -> RE: The Ex (10/22/2007 6:38:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mysticalcreature

Well see he is ignoring me and perhaps the issue is all mine, but she is always around and stays the night, he goes over there and so on.  I am not able to be there, he says that nothing will ever happen she is just a friend that she destroyed any "loving feelings" but when he is ignorning me because I made a comment about her not sure what to do.  Now when all this other stuff, her staying at his house, he told me about it before it happened, but never tells me when he goes over there.  I am intimidated by her, they have a long history together and she is there right now and I am not.  Should I simply trust him and take him at his word that nothing is happening or will happen and that he "loves me?"  He says he loves me .... any suggestions?



She's not an ex. You're just his bit on the side. If that's enough for you, then fine. If you need more, than go look for a relationship where you'll be his priority.




daddysliloneds -> RE: The Ex (10/22/2007 3:34:45 PM)

i don't deal with or worry about the ex's of my partners no matter how close their vicinity is to them; it's a waste of time and energy and is a very unhealthy, emotionally reactive response that could make me the next ex if i let my mind conjur up worst case scenario's; i'd suggest you not worry about it either.




TakenPet -> RE: The Ex (10/22/2007 4:06:47 PM)

Much appreciated .... although I fear it may be too late.  He is refusing to speak to me and I am unsure of how long it will be.  At this point I am not sure what to do with myself.  I will heed your advice for the future and I appreciate your time. 




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: The Ex (10/22/2007 8:30:00 PM)

It could be that bringing up the ex, especially in a critical way,may have him thinking you are criticising him and his choices...Another thing I thought when reading your OP was that if you are experiencing issues of trust, then you have a bigger problem to deal with than the EX-factor....Tempting




GhitaAmati -> RE: The Ex (10/23/2007 11:46:02 AM)

I deal with my husbands ex by hanging up on her when she calls....he usually deals with her the same way....she;s always calling wanting money, or for him to fix something




LaTigresse -> RE: The Ex (10/23/2007 11:48:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KiandPhoenix

My ex. . .we deal with her by loaning her my car yesterday so she could go job and car hunting, we planned to have my family christmas at her place this year, she babysits for us on occasion, we used to tabletop game with her and if she were not going to my BIG family Thanksgiving to avoide her family, we would be at her place for that also.

I keep good relations with my past partners, and only their new partners insecurity has ended some good friendships. I love the people I was in relationships with, and even though the relationship ended does not mean I ceased to love them.

On the other hand, Phoenix has had some bad past relations. Her current ex has two children with her, so he is going to be around for at least another six months I suspect before he becomes a total deadbeat. We deal with him as little as we can, and she did not keep great relations past a couple months with her other ex's, so we don't have to deal with them.

How you should handle things is entirely dependent on you. First you should let your sir know about your feelings. There may be nothing to worry about. If you are that worried about it, egotiate some limits reguarding ex's. Phoenix and my ex are friends now, but we still have a rule here about no ex's. This was a rule I put out because I am not comfortable with my partners going back to their ex's, not the other way around.

~Ki


My favourite answer by far.




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