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Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 7:46:35 AM

fsub4use

Posts: 94
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Hello A/all
i have done a few scenes with a dom - in the torture room or in private chat.... and somehow they just all of a sudden disappear... and don't come back. Is this normal? Should i make it one of my boundaries - let me know You are leaving and the play is over? Is it some wicked power play? Is it something completely else? Whenever i've played before, it has always been SOP that play has a definite ending.... the Dom ALWAYS checks in with the sub at the end of play.... and a glass of water or something like it is offered to the sub as a way to come back to equal (ish) ground. Of course then i was always playing in real life. Is this a big difference with cyber play?

Thanks for Your time and opinions.... bowing from waist

Post #: 1

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 7:50:55 AM

Vanatru

Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

with online it means the guy got off, so he left the chat. one of the hazards of playing online.

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 2

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 7:53:25 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

It isn't anything to worry about, or take personally. Probably just means his wife (some cases mom) came home. You know how upset some of them get when they find their husbands/grown kids jerking off at the computer.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 10/20/2007 7:57:11 AM >

(in reply to Vanatru)

Post #: 3

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 8:05:10 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Whenever i've played before, it has always been SOP that play has a definite ending.... the Dom ALWAYS checks in with the sub at the end of play.... and a glass of water or something like it is offered to the sub as a way to come back to equal (ish) ground. Of course then i was always playing in real life. Is this a big difference with cyber play?

Just out of curiosity. If you are roleplaying so vividly that you require after-care. Please share your secret. I'd like to get in on that.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 4

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 8:10:56 AM

fsub4use

Posts: 94
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Winsome - well, i meditate a lot and have learned to put myself in a head space where i actually physically respond to what is being done to me... and after care? well a simple "that was fun - I gotta run" would suffice online.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 5

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 8:22:46 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

There is no denying that it is rude, to just disappear without a word. But, that tells you that many of those who participate in that outlet are not really taking it to the level you are. They got theirs, they got off, they signed off. Sort of a "Wham Bam" without the Thank You Ma'am.

As an avid text based role player who runs a few collaborative writing forums, I know how vivid a world one can create with just words. While I know I was being flip, in my response, I did not intend to demean your participation in your roleplay outlet. I just find, for myself, that BDSM is too REAL for me, personally, to take it seriously as a roleplay outlet.

All teasing aside, in all honesty, I do believe my first post in response is both humerous and accurate.

Best wishes

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 6

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 9:28:58 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fsub4use

Winsome - well, i meditate a lot and have learned to put myself in a head space where i actually physically respond to what is being done to me... and after care? well a simple "that was fun - I gotta run" would suffice online.

if you don't want my honest opinion, don't read any further...

quit it....stop putting yourself in that headspace where you actually physically respond to what is *typed* is being done to you...and you won't need the after care....or learn not to need the after care...or learn to do self after care...

you're a big girl, time to put on your big girl panties and realize that not everyone out there is in it for the same reasons you are, and in chat rooms and private chat theres a lot higher percentage of people who are NOT in it for the same reasons you are...

chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 7

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 1:04:25 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Is this a big difference with cyber play?

Yeah. Cyber play isn't, um, real.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 8

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 2:25:07 PM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

Look, this is the internet. If you seriously think that things you hold to in the real world like aftercare are neccessary for cyber play, you need to get off the computer and get a reality check.

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 9

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 2:35:42 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

with online it means the guy got off, so he left the chat. one of the hazards of playing online.

I like this answer the best, actually you better get your after care first, cause after he comes
he is going to sleep.
;p

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Vanatru)

Post #: 10

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 2:43:08 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I've never heard of aftercare being a necessary over the net.

At the least he should say 'thanks for lettin me cyber tie you up and jerk off onto my sweatpants, I gotta go wash up now, see ya!'

How rude if he doesn't.

solution: stay away from wankers and avoid becoming emotionally charged from a stranger projecting fantasies into typed text.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 11

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 3:21:19 PM

treehugger42

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

I definitely know that it's possible to get that emotionally charged from online play... so I recommend not doing it with strangers in chat rooms who will leave as soon as they blow their load.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 12

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 6:14:03 PM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Ohh baby Ohh baby oh drive that big hunk of man meat deep into my nasty slutty wet cunt..umm wheres the aftercare..your fingers tired..exercise them....or better yet do as other folks suggested a reality check ..beleive it or not theres life beyond ohh baby ohh baby oh....yawns..

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to treehugger42)

Post #: 13

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 6:22:12 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

all you are in this situation is masturbation fodder, nothing more. There's nothing wrong with a quick, cheap, net thrill if you're into it, but I wouldn't take it personally when they disappear, it's simply the nature of the encounter.

(in reply to wisteriaV)

Post #: 14

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 6:27:57 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

I have a very low opinion of cyber play. It could be an um on the other end-you never know. The concept of aftercare-after cybering? why?

The only real benefit of cyber is that it entails no risk. But it also entails no responsibiltiy-that's why people do it. They have nothing invested it it-so don't expect to much.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 15

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 7:32:04 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Even the Internet is no safehaven from the all too famous male behavior of "Put on the pants and rush out the door after sex without leaving my number"

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 16

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 7:42:10 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Even the Internet is no safehaven from the all too famous male behavior of "Put on the pants and rush out the door after sex without leaving my number"

does that make me male?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 17

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 8:06:23 PM

fsub4use

Posts: 94
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

lol - well thanks for all the responses. i guess i hate the idea of not being able to get really submissive, but oh well. Thanks so much.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 18

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 8:38:11 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fsub4use

lol - well thanks for all the responses. i guess i hate the idea of not being able to get really submissive, but oh well. Thanks so much.

On the other hand, why not just turn it round? If they want to use you-use them back.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 19

RE: Disappearing Doms - 10/20/2007 9:25:45 PM

fsub4use

Posts: 94
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Yeah i thought of that... i can't be rude like that... too much training.... sigh... even assholes get kindness and politeness from me....

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 20

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