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RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 5:55:53 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
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The only bit of baggage that's ever weighed me down is pain in the form of severe depression. And it did knock me out for a good number of years, and contributed to many of the problems I had for many years to come. Hell, I'd be out of college right now with years of working experience and honorary degrees under my belt if I was just stronger and could've taken it.

It's made me stronger, which is ironic, because, in a way, still being in college and without that finicial backing and work experience, I'm obviously weaker socially. Personally, though. I can stomach the idea that I'm going to die and that that's going to be the end for me. I can take unpleasant truths. I can appreciate that, as a human being, I'm truly limited. I know my loved ones are going to die, that bad things happen. And, when things do go wrong, I'll be able to go on, unlike last time, when I let it destroy me.

Luggage kicked my ass, even when the sources of it were in the past, even when I was "over" it. It caused me to be weaker, to try less, to be unreasonably afraid. Now the luggage doesn't weigh me down; I'm stronger.

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RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 5:57:37 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I agree Daddysjezzy,

abuse either turns one rougher or softer.

The rough tend to end up passing along the abuse to others, in turn, the soft always find due cause to be a helper/healer to others.

I believe that (from what few posts I have seen) velvet turned out the be the latter.

edit: soft in a good way velvet, not soft as in a sissy/sucker or other definition. Softer as in gentler, more prone to being sensitive to needs and to avoid passing on a parent's reflected misuse of their position as a safe, sane protector and mentor.

Thanks came4u - i do think it is important to be sensitive to the needs of others as well as having boundaries, which in the past i have had issues with. i've corrected those over the last 10 years in that i don't feel the guilt i used to feel with my siblings. They are responisble for their own healing. i used to be caught in the trap of allowing myself to be taken advantage of because i felt they were so broken and i wasn't. i came to realize i put in the work to be that way and deserved what i had, it wasn't my responsibility to "save" them. i couldn't save them. It's always boggled my mind that they created dysfunctional lives for their children, after years of whining about how we all had it so bad. Life made them bitter and blind, rougher as you put it. i am grateful life showed me a different path.

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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Post #: 22

RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 5:59:00 PM

Raechard

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

You can get baggage with wheels on these days and that always helps take out some of the associated pain.

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えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

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Post #: 23

RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 6:14:20 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

The only bit of baggage that's ever weighed me down is pain in the form of severe depression. And it did knock me out for a good number of years, and contributed to many of the problems I had for many years to come. Hell, I'd be out of college right now with years of working experience and honorary degrees under my belt if I was just stronger and could've taken it.

It's made me stronger, which is ironic, because, in a way, still being in college and without that finicial backing and work experience, I'm obviously weaker socially. Personally, though. I can stomach the idea that I'm going to die and that that's going to be the end for me. I can take unpleasant truths. I can appreciate that, as a human being, I'm truly limited. I know my loved ones are going to die, that bad things happen. And, when things do go wrong, I'll be able to go on, unlike last time, when I let it destroy me.

Luggage kicked my ass, even when the sources of it were in the past, even when I was "over" it. It caused me to be weaker, to try less, to be unreasonably afraid. Now the luggage doesn't weigh me down; I'm stronger.

How did you eventually conquer your depression? i am glad you came out of it stronger, going through struggles often does that.

i think you have very high expectation for yourself, which is a good thing, but sometimes it's also a good thing to cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to go through whatever it is you need to, to get to that next point in life.

i can remember when i was in my early 20's i was hard on myself when i didn't achieve the things i planned to. i felt like a failure when it took longer to achieve something i set as a goal with a specific time frame. Life is unpredictable and has it's own agenda sometimes. As i got older that urgency lessened and i eased up a lot on myself. i see this same trait in my daughter - shes 19 and lamenting what she hasn't accomplished etc.... she had some rough spots to overcome and i am trying to tell her - you've got so much time... it's not "too late" Lot of pressure on young people, live your own agenda no one elses.

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RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 6:19:50 PM

Rushemery

Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

The only bit of baggage that's ever weighed me down is pain in the form of severe depression. And it did knock me out for a good number of years, and contributed to many of the problems I had for many years to come. Hell, I'd be out of college right now with years of working experience and honorary degrees under my belt if I was just stronger and could've taken it.

It's made me stronger, which is ironic, because, in a way, still being in college and without that finicial backing and work experience, I'm obviously weaker socially. Personally, though. I can stomach the idea that I'm going to die and that that's going to be the end for me. I can take unpleasant truths. I can appreciate that, as a human being, I'm truly limited. I know my loved ones are going to die, that bad things happen. And, when things do go wrong, I'll be able to go on, unlike last time, when I let it destroy me.

Luggage kicked my ass, even when the sources of it were in the past, even when I was "over" it. It caused me to be weaker, to try less, to be unreasonably afraid. Now the luggage doesn't weigh me down; I'm stronger.

It takes a stronger person to admit it than to hide it

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RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 6:59:23 PM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
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People end up being the sum total of all their experiences.
The good and the bad ones.
It is usually not what you have been through, but how you deal
with it, that will determine your outlook and the quality of life
that you have.

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Post #: 26

RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 7:03:17 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
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Moving. Accepting things. There's more to it, but nothing I could convay in a few words here.

If I didn't press myself so hard, how could I ever have pride in who I will be?

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RE: Beyond baggage - 10/20/2007 9:39:16 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
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Baggage? We ain't got no baggage! We don't need no baggage. I don't have to show you any stinkin' baggage!

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RE: Beyond baggage - 10/21/2007 7:52:05 PM

LightHeartedMaam

Posts: 296
Joined: 5/12/2007
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There was something I heard that helps me:

"Forgiveness is giving up any hope of a different past". Forgive yourself and move on. I think baggage is more of a feeling of being duped and one hates themselves for letting it happen. Accept that Life is a game and you can't win all the time.

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Post #: 29