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Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 1:05:01 AM   
violentlilangel


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		so what is considered TRUE bdsm and  TRUE domination and what is considered i guess you could say fake?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 1:06:28 AM   
violentlilangel


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		 This has been bothering me because i want to be sure that wat me and my boyfriend are doing is you know considered domination i will have more to tell you if you want to know

(in reply to violentlilangel)
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RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 1:14:43 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Oh golly honey, what a can of worms. There is, in reality, no such thing as "true" anything.

What is BDSM/domination/slavery/submission/topping/bottoming to one, makes absolutely no sense to another. In other words, there is no definitive "true" answer.

If you think one is D and the other s, then that's what you are.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to violentlilangel)
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RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 1:15:04 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		You may have  to explain as it could be say vanilla with just a kink thrown in ir could even be abuse rather than domination

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to violentlilangel)
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RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 1:23:04 AM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Well, the question comes across kind of funny...
It's like trying to ask a convention of priests, rabbis, parsons, pastors, and Buhdist monks what there consensus on God is.
I guess the best answer would be to say that there are many different individuals and or bodies of people who have many different ideas on this.

The question for you is, who are you trying to be in agreement with? (if anyone)

LAsub

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 5:00:52 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Are you both enjoying what you're doing? Are you both getting your needs met? Does the way you have structured it allow for open and honest communication? Are you allowed to be your true and authentic selves? Those are things needed for a healthy relationship. Personally, I find working on keeping the relationship healthy and strong is much more important than if it's real in the eyes of people who aren't in the relationship and won't care if it breaks down. YMMV.

(in reply to LASub4Real)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 5:03:44 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: violentlilangel

 This has been bothering me because i want to be sure that wat me and my boyfriend are doing is you know considered domination i will have more to tell you if you want to know


Why do you want to know whether it's domination?  Is there some other concern you're not explaining such as abuse?  What the CM posters say is irrelevant to your relationship, some may say it is, some may say it's not, what you feel is what is important.  Honestly we dont have enough information to say one thing or another at this point. 

(in reply to violentlilangel)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 6:14:15 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		As long as you and your partner or partners are happy, then who am I to judge? Do what floats your boat and tell anyone else to fuck off.

People who may complain or either on a power trip or they and not happy themselves. They only wish that they where in on the action.

A little fyi. There is no set code nor BDSM bible that tells us how to live your lives. If there was, I could see myself breaking more than a few rules. It's best to find your own way do what works for you.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to violentlilangel)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 7:41:39 AM   
VieVivante


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		Your profile says you have been into BDSM for eight years, and you don't know what domination is?????

Of course, your profile also says you are a Dom/Dom couple, i.e. two males. Care to explain?

(in reply to violentlilangel)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 7:46:34 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: violentlilangel

so what is considered TRUE bdsm and  TRUE domination and what is considered i guess you could say fake?


"True" BDSM is everything that you do. "Fake" BDSM is everything that other people do that you don't like.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to violentlilangel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 7:51:45 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: violentlilangel

so what is considered TRUE bdsm and  TRUE domination and what is considered i guess you could say fake?


"True" BDSM is everything that you do. "Fake" BDSM is everything that other people do that you don't like.


Fabulous answer!  I love it!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 7:56:47 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

i will have more to tell you if you want to know


no thats ok, this is creepy enough as it is.

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 8:10:49 AM   
Vanatru


Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Creepy? Anyways, the real answer can be found by educating yourselves... and that doesn't mean just getting some random opinions. For the definition of domination, you could start with an online dictionary. As far as looking anywhere in BDSM for a self definition or definitions of domination and submission, you're gonna get a huge variety of answers, and most of it is pure BS. If you think there is some right way to pursue a D/s relationship and a wrong way, remember there are D/s relationships out there that aren't even BDSM, they are traditional (cultural and/or religious).

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 8:14:01 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Yes creepy.  Read his profile.  He was forced into bdsm, says he was into it by age **.  Although he claims to be 18 now, I cannot give advice to anyone who is currently or previously so young or molested at such a young age.

(in reply to Vanatru)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 8:30:23 AM   
Vanatru


Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		*laughs* well 1) came4U, this is in the Ask a Master section, so why would you be giving advice here since you're a submissive, 2) do you believe everything people put in their profiles? I certainly have learned not to. 3) it's a couple, so I'd hope they were taking care of the PTSD together 4) if they're asking questions, it's better they get information than labor under the burden of someone else's BS.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 8:40:33 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:


*laughs* well 1) came4U, this is in the Ask a Master section, so why would you be giving advice here since you're a submissive, 2) do you believe everything people put in their profiles? I certainly have learned not to. 3) it's a couple, so I'd hope they were taking care of the PTSD together 4) if they're asking questions, it's better they get information than labor under the burden of someone else's BS.


many oft overlap, depends on the question or the poster.

I'm not an online submissive in any capacity so where I post which is of interest to me is of no matter.

If you do not choose to believe what is in his profile..then continue to comment based upon a possible projected lie, your business. 

My comment was that I thought it too creepy to respond, simple.  If you want to answer him, do so.  Rid of me from the equation and your forum thoughts and move on to replying to his question then. Is this about you wanting to help and comment directly to the OP, or is it about attempting to belittle me?

(in reply to Vanatru)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 9:13:59 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

"True" BDSM is everything that you do. "Fake" BDSM is everything that other people do that you don't like.


Fabulous answer!  I love it!

Why, thank you!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 9:17:40 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: violentlilangel

so what is considered TRUE bdsm and  TRUE domination and what is considered i guess you could say fake?

two simple rules of BDSM, domination, submission and slavery

1) IF IT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER, THEN IT'S TRUE, ITS RIGHT, AND ITS THE ONE TRUE WAY

2) IF NUMBER ONE APPLIES TO YOU, REMEMBER THAT IT DOES NOT APPLY TO OTHERS

very easy to follow

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to violentlilangel)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 10:40:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru
*laughs* well 1) came4U, this is in the Ask a Master section, so why would you be giving advice here since you're a submissive,

Actually anyone and everyone can (and are often encouraged to) post and reply anywhere they please.  The forum segregations are more to separate topic focus. 

Onto the topic at hand- I know you want to be approved of and get the official kink stamp of coolness and have other people tell you that what you are doing is good and fine, but I'm afraid there is none.  You just have to do what works best for you.  To some that will be lame and fake and stupid.  Who cares?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Vanatru)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Whos to say whats right? - 10/21/2007 2:08:01 PM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I thought Celeste43 put it very well.

If you're having fun, don't sweat the words used to describe it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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