Are you out of your freaking Mind (Full Version)

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LATEXBABY64 -> Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 7:29:21 AM)

Trust:   What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme.  How far would you go in your trust with the other.

  I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?



AquaticSub -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 7:40:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?


I must be out of my mind by your opinion. But my opinion is playing with a near-stranger at an event is a calculated risk that I'm willing to take. Frankly, I think it's far less dangerous than skydiving. In a group of people, some of who I know, where the scene is being watched, there odds are low that they will be able to kill me before someone could interfer. The odds are also pretty low that they would want to kill me in the first place. Usually, Valyraen or some other trusted friend is there to further ensure safety.

Is there a risk? Yes. But there is also a risk stepping out your front door, going on a mountain hike, running errands, driving your car and sitting in the classroom. You calculate risk and if you feel it is worth it, you take the risk. While I would not allow someone I don't know well to bind me in my home alone, I find BDSM events to be extremely safe enviroments.

Edited for typo



slaveluci -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 7:46:13 AM)

And here's a thought: some people get off on engaging in potentially dangerous or risky behavior.  As Aquatic mentioned, people do all kinds of such things voluntarily everyday that don't involve sex/BDSM (i.e - skydiving, car racing, etc).  If they aren't "out of their freaking minds," why am I if I would choose to meet a stranger for sex, bondange or whathaveyou?

I don't want to hijack the thread and I remember what a shredding Aileen took for saying a one-night stand can be fun and exciting but.....I happen to think risk-taking is exciting.  People talk about edge play.  What's more "edgy" than meeting a stranger or near-stranger and taking your chances?[;)]  And before I get the obligatory "serial killer" talk, I know all the dangers.  I still think there's much excitement to the idea...................luci



daddysliloneds -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:06:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust:   What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme.  How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?


i don't think we ever really know anyone, including those that we've known for years, in or out of the lifestyle; so i go by gut instincts and it hasn't proven me wrong yet, so i guess that makes me crazy if i choose to play with people on a first meet, and i'm okay with that, so why aren't you?



came4U -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:09:14 AM)

Jack the Ripper,
Son of Sam
Charlie Manson
Ed Gein
The Zodiac Killer
Aileen Wuornos

You get my jist. 

Considering the population burst, access to computers for anon. useage, surely the chances are high that you might meet a loser, yet chances that he/she is a serial killer, relatively low in statistics compared to an off the street crime.

I've done some badass, crazy and life threatening things in my life so maybe that gave me a 6th sense to sniff out the really creepy. My total internet time: 12+ years, actual meets: approx. 53ish, losers: 50, serial killers: 0 

Probability of death or maiming? 100%, except if given the chance to see it coming, his first strike would be his last.




mnottertail -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:11:38 AM)

Santayana;
Singman Rhee;
Find out what that means to me;
We didn't start the fire.....





velvetears -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:12:53 AM)

What is the alternative? Living life huddled in our homes for fear we will be harmed or murdered if we meet strangers? Everyones a stranger till you get to know them.  



came4U -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:19:03 AM)

forget that, I'm just f*cking strange. [:D]



Rushemery -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:21:05 AM)

Trust has to be earned both ways, you can give trust online to a certain point but I dont feel a person can really be trusted until you meet them and get to know them in person, if peple trusted each other they wouldnt use screen names, women have to be more careful than men I feel, lots of wackos out there like that fake cop post I read earlier. How far would I go to trust someone well hopfully all the way otherwise the relationship wouldnt work long term, as far as really ever knowing someone, people change over time, you can know someone really well I feel but they change, you change so do we really know anyone sometimes yes if you have been together forever, trusting a group of people well, I have many friends or people who know me or know of me, sure to a point, you have to trust to certain points, I would much rather only trust 1 person than a group, I know Im going to get ripped for this lol but Im a people watcher and i see most people as trecherous, out for themselves in one way or another and you have to be extreamy carful about who you let in, you may meet 1 or 2 good friends threwout your life and I feel your lucky, Im not talking about people you have sex with i mean people you trust your life with, I find people tend to be deluded with the fact of friends or friendship, everyone is their friend but over watching the same people for much of my life I see this not to be true, a perfect example, 2 brothers were friends of mine we hung out in a group of 6 - 10 people well most of us no longer hang out but do see each other now and again, these 2 brothers one got married and the other ended up sleeping with the ones wife they were brothers friends very very tight but no longer, should there have been trust? good question, Ive never hung out with one group for long before I found another so I basicly bounced between older younger and my age people threw out my entire life I have bounced between these groups for years and have seen the same things in each group, no one is tight with any one person more than a few years before they go their own ways, I still socialize with all of them but dont stay with any one group because they become bogged down doing the same exact things every week. I too get that way but I at least have the option of finding something different to do when I want to, I think I lost track, no people change so we dont ever really know them     



colouredin -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:24:00 AM)

I think its about your gut feeling yeah, course there is a risk and there is a risk of being hit by a bus when you cross the road. 



onegoodgirl -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:24:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust:   What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme.  How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?



I generally stick to a no-play-on-the-first-meet policy.. but... if the desire is there and my instincts say "Go!"... I'm throwing the guidelines out the window. I've rarely (obviously never terminally) been wrong about the people I choose to keep in intimate company and have been meeting others from the internet long enough to consider it a successful track record.

Why do I get this image of you as someone who hunkers down in a cabin in the woods with a cache of weapons and MREs. If anybody scares me.. it's somebody who constantly judges others over actions that aren't their personal concern. (Read: Fanatic)



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:28:36 AM)

I am completely out of my mind.
I traveled to a state I had never visited to spend a weekend with Angel after having talked to him on the phone for a few weeks.
I met Truitt for lunch after having talked to him for a few days. I have met many people, for lunch or to walk around the parks out here and chat, just since I have been here. I have others who plan on visiting.
Hell, DominaSmartass crashed in my living room on my couch when she passed through.
Its not all about trusting the individual with your life... its about trusting someoneenough one time to meet somewhere safe, and seeing how it goes. But it is not something I am willing to give up, I have met too many wonderful people from my random "hey, I feel like going out, wanna come" meetings.
Fox is one of them. I wanted to take pictures, he came to take them with me, now he is mine.

Wouldnt change any of it.

DV





came4U -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:29:34 AM)

mmmm MREs

sometimes it nice to just boil sum up and feed em to the um's and tell them you have been hovering over a hot stove all day.

Kinda ruins it though when they say mmmm, mom this is better than usual. [sm=m23.gif] lol



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:42:43 AM)

No just been around the block a few times and see things you just shake your head at. Then watch friends repeat it over and over again lol. But thats on them. But you do not stop being a friend because they just do not get something in life.   Mre rule  i remeber sea rats lol got to love those. 

  but everything goes with personal responsiblity. So if you trust someone to do the right thing and someone does the wrong thing whos to blame.



beargonewild -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:43:29 AM)

Some I do trust the first time I meet them and others I do not. Trust is also having a well developed intuition and that is what I rely on heavily when meeting a person for the first time. This will determine if I either play with them at the first meeting or I wait.
Granted this is risky yet what is important is I am aware of the risk I willingly take responsibility for my action alone.
It's that gut feeling which is used to assess the person's character that's more important, irregardless of their role of sub/slave/Dom/Domme.



bipolarber -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 8:44:18 AM)

Playing with an attractive near stranger at an event, surrounded by other people and the occasional Dungeon Monitor, seems far less dangerous to me than the first time I was skiing on a double black diamond run... I knew there was a saftey net around me with others to stop the action if things seemd to be getting out of hand, or if I seemed in distress. No so with the mountain. There it was, "get down one way or another." And come to think of it, I did get down off that run with more cuts and bruises than I've ever gotten in a scene.

Now, going home with someone I don't know... that would be a different story. It would have to be someone I'd been talking to for a long while, and I'd have to insist on little more than "symbolic" bondage the first time out.



IrishMist -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 9:11:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust:   What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme.  How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?


I go with my own instincts. If it feels right to ME, I go with it. If it feels wrong, I back off. I don't need to have 'strong, undying' trust in a partner to either play with them or have sex with them. As long as I feel ok about it, that's what matters.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 9:24:07 AM)

Count me in the "out of your mind" category.  Odd that no one seems to bat an eye at the gazillions of folks who meet someone in a bar and go home with them, but egads, "playing" on a first meet?

I met my Master online in June, over 3 years ago.  We talked several times a day, every day, until we met in person two months later.  Everything in my gut said I could trust him, but since I didn't trust my own instincts very well back then, I Googled him from the start and confirmed everything I needed to know.  Plus I was able to share all his personal info, including his photo, prior to my venturing off to meet him.

As for how far it was going to go...as far as he chose it to.

I am safer with him than I was with my husband of nearly 20 years.



SmokingGun82 -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 9:25:10 AM)

Considering the vast majority of my sexual partners, either vanilla or non, have been one night stands with random bar people... it's safe to say I'm out of my damned mind by your definition. That means I'll sleep a lot easier tonight, because Latex, there's no way I'd want you to consider me "normal."



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind (10/21/2007 9:29:12 AM)

if your on collar me but what is norm we are all abby normal . you can not find sanity in the insaine. Nor will the what seems to be ok may not be. Hidden with in is always a dark horse or a dark heart.  it is how the twisted work.lol



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