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Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 8:19:14 AM   
BIllCT


Posts: 160
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		Why is it that a good female submissive into spanking will always, and I mean always say stop when ya smacking her without meaning it lol?
 
I seem to find the ones that love to go stop, stop, stop, but who scream at me when I do stop and go don't stop you fucker why is that?
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 8:26:42 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I dont think ive ever said stop personally, but thats why there is a safe word, at some point or another most of us will have said no but meant yes i guess for appearances, to show that its hurting whatever, im sure most wouldnt want a sub to lie their listlessly

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 8:29:01 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		because maybe they're testing you to see who's really in charge?

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 8:32:58 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Because objecting makes it seem more forced, if they say stop and you dont.  They might enjoy the forced aspect of it, and that minor upping of the stakes excites them. If you dont actually know how to read a real NO from a playtime "no" then you need to set a safe word or something.
However, if a submissive of mine ever said Dont stop you fucker, she or he would never have the chance to make up for the mistake...
But thats a whole diffrent ball of wax.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 8:50:15 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

stop you fucker


When I say that I mean it..so stop you fucker!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 9:13:17 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Why is it that a good female submissive into spanking will always, and I mean always say stop when ya smacking her without meaning it lol?
 
I seem to find the ones that love to go stop, stop, stop, but who scream at me when I do stop and go don't stop you fucker why is that?



Bill
  I was just reading the other thread/post you have going on in addition to this one.
I really don't mean this to be disrespectful, and hope you won't take it as such, I get the impression you have a problem with communication.
communicating yourself
listening to communication from others.
Knowing what you want/desire and communicating that well.
and knowing what the person you are with wants/needs as well.

There is listening with your ears  and then there is listening with your eyes and instincts..
what do you see?  notice?  hear?  feel?  observe?
ask?
seems that "spanking" and the problem you are having with said spankee  might be more about YOUR misunderstandings and lack of prior good communication rather than their reaction.
 
You post these questions with no indication as to the details of the circumstances:.  prior arrangements..the location...is this YOUR submissive or A submissive that is sceneing as a bottom?  private?  club?  in a relationship or casual play. etc
 
 
\If you are frustrated ( and it seems you are) the solution to that lies IN you ..Learn about the person. Help them learn about you....Listen...talk..ask...think...talk some more....
 
If you wanna "just go whack about on a bottom"  then you will to a certain extent have to put up with their (bottoms) criteria and that they will be taking care of themselves and their  own safety ( safe words and limits ) in that scenario ( casual play) ..
 
Seems to me you are "looking" for a certain thing> but looking in a place where you will generally/typically find something just the opposite.
thats futile in my book.....and hence your frustration.
 
I hope you can find fulfillment...and I also hope you take some time to learn what that fulfillment means ( definition) to you .
 
 
 
 

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 9:20:07 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

 
I seem to find the ones that love to go stop, stop, stop, but who scream at me when I do stop and go don't stop you fucker why is that?



I find this problem is easily solved via effective communication. Some of us get hot and bothered when we say "stop" during a scene. It's been my experience that the question "Hey, do you like to say "stop" and "no" during a scene?" clears up any confusion on the issue.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 9:29:03 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Well, this is one argument for safewords.  "That really hurt, you rat" is not considered a safeword here.

But one thing about spankings is that they hurt at the time, but they feel really good afterwards. So I can yelp and moan because of the pain while he's spanking me, and still wish it had gone on longer afterwards. And some women can tolerate more pain during, in order to get to the good feelings later than others can.

Personally I can take more if the spanks are centered. If he's mainly hitting the outside of the cheeks or the thighs they sting a lot and then I can't tolerate much.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 9:33:55 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		For me, it's all about the apple of the cheek. I definately have to agree with you that it feels better after. There has been one person who could get me off with a spanking, but usually I'm more or less enduring it to a degree just so I can feel the spikey wheel running across the tenderized flesh afterwards.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Celeste43)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 9:40:24 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Another argument for doing something wild and crazy like talking to the sub in question. Finding out if she prefers thud or sting, and how much of an aftereffect she's aiming at.

But that takes too much effort for most people. Whining is easier.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 9:58:50 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't ever say stop.  But I have this love/hate relationship with Master's belt.  I hate being belted (I'm not a fan of pain!) but as soon as he stops, I crave it again.  It's his power I crave, which is expressed in such occasions in the use of his belt.  I hate the pain, I love the power his infliction of pain represents.

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 10:55:53 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		hmmm...I've never said stop...in fact, he usually stops it before I'm ready for him to in order to avoid injury....it seems from your two posts you have some issues either with communication or realistic expectations of the people you are with.
l

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 12:41:51 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i'm still trying to figure that one out myself since i do fall in that category.

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 2:05:22 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I believe that's why, back in the day, that safewords were invented to begin with, so that "Stop!" as a reaction to fun pain wouldn't be confused with the recipient truly wanting the action to stop. 

But then safewords became uncool and we had to go back to the givers needing to rely on body language, voice inflection and mind-reading to know when to actually stop and when to ignore the word. 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 3:45:22 PM   
BIllCT


Posts: 160
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks for your answers and opinions here too!
By the way folks, read what is aid more closely and you will find that I am communicating with the sub in question and what she is doing is saying stop, stop, stop, because it feels so intense and she enjoys it and she does get pissed when I stop suddenly and asks for more lol.
 
And I know real well about communicating clearly and using safe words thank you, I was referring more to the simple play of words as the spanking is happening and what happens if and when aI stop as she says to, lol

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 3:57:52 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

... Personally I can take more if the spanks are centered. If he's mainly hitting the outside of the cheeks or the thighs they sting a lot and then I can't tolerate much ...

...  Another argument for doing something wild and crazy like talking to the sub in question. Finding out if she prefers thud or sting, and how much of an aftereffect she's aiming at ...


There's definitely an art to spanking and each "canvas" is different.  It might make an interesting thread as I'm not sure how many dominants bother to ask what a sub likes.  Of course, I might be in the minority of subs in that I can't bring myself to "critique" him.  Perhaps most subs speak up.

(in reply to Celeste43)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 4:11:55 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes i say stop but he knows that is not my safeword so he does not.  if i ever had to safeword he would stop and assess the situation and see what had to be done.  So when i say stop he knows i don't mean it.  We have discussed this so we both know.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to TreasureKY)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 4:21:50 PM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		For me, there's something about being able to say the word "stop" and know He's not going to. We do use a safeword, which i have only used once (and feel awful about, but that's my issue).

Struggling and yelling for Him to stop- i love that. i'd hate for Him to really stop at that point.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 7:08:42 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

By the way folks, read what is aid more closely and you will find that I am communicating with the sub in question and what she is doing is saying stop, stop, stop, because it feels so intense and she enjoys it and she does get pissed when I stop suddenly and asks for more lol.
 


If you meant to say "she says stop because it is too intense", why did you not simply say so in the OP? There are many reasons to say stop and you provided none so we had to guess.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Question on reactions! - 10/21/2007 7:21:55 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Because it doesn't feel real-till they say stop, and you say NO.

And they KNOW that the fun ends when the safeword gets spoken-which is WHY they can protest so much-and enjoy it all.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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