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RRafe -> Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:38:04 AM)
Do you think that a person in the Role of Dominance is responsible for helping a sub to overcome thier emotional baggage?

PairOfDimes -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:39:03 AM)
Not unless you've agreed to that.

Rushemery -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:40:52 AM)
to a certain point yes, but they need to work on it also, we should give guidence,a shoulder an ear or what ever they need but its up to them to over come it

camille65 -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:41:23 AM)
If the dominant one wants to do it sure. But to be expecting that a dominant will automatically want to 'fix' the baggage of a submissive is something that shouldn't happen. Some want to fix, others want pre-fixed etc. etc.

colouredin -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:42:50 AM)
Its like any relationship isnt it? both are just as responsible as the other to make them feel better but i dont think baggage can ever be fixed anyways just become less of an issue.

WisconsinOwner -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:43:08 AM)
My answer to a lot of those issues is: that sounds like a personal problem, I don't do personal problems.

came4U -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:44:57 AM)
Responsible? not unless he accepts that responsibility. I wouldn't ask nor suggest it nor burden another as such.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 8:53:01 AM)
That depends on what the emotional baggage is, what it stems from and how it impacts the relationship. There is some baggage that has to be dealt with and gotten over before you can even start a healthy relationship. There is other issues that can have no impact on it whatsoever. And if the Dominant keeps the sub as a playmate and not a romantic or emotional partner then they have little to no reason to help with that baggage unless both decide to. In a romantic or emotional relationship, thats a little different. Short answer, no obligation necessarily, but it depends onthe participants. DV

Celeste43 -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:02:17 AM)
Only if it's something they both want and agree to, and have the sense to get some professional advice of how to accomplish this.

IrishMist -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:07:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Do you think that a person in the Role of Dominance is responsible for helping a sub to overcome thier emotional baggage? I think it really depends on how deep the emotional 'baggage' goes and how much the submissive is willing to help in overcoming it also.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:26:22 AM)
If he chooses to, yes. In my case, he insisted on it: "You will shed your baggage or I will strip it from you."

AquaticSub -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:27:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Do you think that a person in the Role of Dominance is responsible for helping a sub to overcome thier emotional baggage? No. I want a partner, not a therapist. Valyraen has helped me, but only by being who he is. It was not something we intended to happen, only a happy by-product of being in a healthy relationship.

SmokingGun82 -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:28:16 AM)
I've always felt that, for the most part, people's baggage is their own to deal with. I can offer my ear, but beyond that it's best if I remain quiet, since my advice is rarely what someone wants to hear.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:32:33 AM)
but what if you added to that baggage what if you were the cause of some of that

Padriag -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:33:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 If the dominant one wants to do it sure. But to be expecting that a dominant will automatically want to 'fix' the baggage of a submissive is something that shouldn't happen. What she said.

Rushemery -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:34:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82 I've always felt that, for the most part, people's baggage is their own to deal with. I can offer my ear, but beyond that it's best if I remain quiet, since my advice is rarely what someone wants to hear. lol, truth hurts when its not what you want to hear

Rushemery -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:36:22 AM)
then you should want to fix it, but thats just my opinion

LotusSong -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:38:32 AM)
Only if they are capable of doing so. Wanting to help is not the same as being able to help.

bandit25 -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 9:40:07 AM)
No more than a person in the Role of Sub is responsible for helping a dom to overcome their emotional baggage. I guess what I am saying is that I can't figure out why it's so often assumed that the sub has emotional baggage and that the dom is qualified to "fix" it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Quick Question (10/21/2007 10:24:02 AM)
FR- nope. As others have said, if a dom wants to, then sure, as long as they make it clear and are actually competent enough to do so (being a dom certainly does not in itself make one competent to do so) but this is no different than anyone else in any other relationship.

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