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fsub4use -> RE: Online Dominace et Protocols (11/24/2007 6:45:28 AM)
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Hi Onyx.... i know You are asking Doms in particular, but where i live the only practical form of BDSM so far has been online. So, i hope You don't mind that i am answering Your question. From my experience as an online sub....
As to what orders can be given - i have been instructed to journal, wear no panties at work, pee on the floor, no touching, etc. Some of these are things that would be rather difficult to check in a real life relationship, too... However, we have made use of web cams, photos, phone conversations. i have had to be a puppy on cam, write on myself and photograph and send Him the proof that i did it, do naked yoga, or spank myself while He counted on the phone... and if He didn't hear it very well, i had to start over!
Control - the amount of control is much more determined by my first proof of and then a trust in honesty. i know there are subs who don't do what they are told online, but that isn't me... it would be really disrespectful of me to lie to a Dom... the problem is that the 2 minutes it takes me to change clothes or get my toys feels much longer because of the lack of physical proximity. However, a lot of control can be maintained depending on the relationship.
Creativity - this is only limited by One's own imagination. If You have an articulate sub, You can have that person write, if the sub is artistic, they can draw or photograph the scene, if they are logical, they can deconstruct the experience and report on it. The most creative thing He made me do was find a way to say in Korean some very humiliating phrases. Well, what a punishment!!! Does He know if the phrases i sent Him were real and correct? No, but He made me tell Him who told me and who i checked them with and He made me learn how to say them.
What is established? i had a Dom that i was playing with who over time realized my level of honesty and knew i would tell Him if i didn't do something, and i would tell Him why (occasionally it was a cultural difference thing). i no longer was required to send pix, but He did ask me to journal about my experiences because He wanted to know my thoughts and due to time differences, we couldnt often meet online. He also made me do some art work that got into my subconcious about what we were doing. That was an amazing way for Him to establish control over my thoughts and my time and my subconcious thoughts. i wonder if He would have had me do that if we had been real life.
Realistically, the ability for this to work is, like all forms of BDSM, based on the integrity of the people involved. Be careful who You play with.... make sure trust is established... and work with what You've got.
Is it the same? physically, no... and i am not just talking about bondage and spanking and golden showers.... i miss the feel of a Man close to me, whispering in my ear, feeling the heat of His body, knowing He might do anything next.... but emotionally and mentally? it is similar... it depends on my willingness to trust and participate honestly.
Would real time be better? Yes, but this has made me appreciate creativity in BDSM so much....
best,
fsub (pamela)
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