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What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 2:21:25 PM   
MDTopCouple


Posts: 44
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Sirs,
 
What are the top three (more or less if you desire) that you look for in all your submissives and/or slaves?
 
My own Sir gave me His:
 
1. Personal responsibility
2. Honesty
3. Ability to communicate effectively
 
I'd love to know what yours are.
 
-daisy

_____________________________

No, no, never a submissive anything! I'm a fully qualified, radical Desperado.
-Anne Stevenson
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.
-Lao Tzu
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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 2:37:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
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Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_1223988/mpage_1/key_traits/tm.htm#1224009
what traits make a truly great sub

http://www.collarchat.com/m_592953/mpage_3/key_traits/tm.htm#637922
image of a slave

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 2:42:01 PM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		Loyalty is the most important aspect for me with anyone in life; sub/switch/Domme/Boss/employee etc. Without loyalty you get little else from people.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 2:42:05 PM   
norarc


Posts: 72
Joined: 8/21/2007
Status: offline 		Hmm, interesting question.  Your Sir has an excellent list -- all very important qualities.  For my own part, mine mirrors his somewhat.

First and foremost, I'd have to put honesty -- I'm totally disinterested in dealing with deception and sifting through falsehood for nuggets of truth.  I have better things to put my energy towards, and I refuse to have that kind of foolishness in something as important as an intimate relationship.  So, honesty must come first, between both parties.  This also feeds into loyalty -- it's very difficult to be disloyal and honest at the same time.

Second, I think straightforwardness is a big quality I like; your Sir hinted at my meaning with his preference for an ability to communicate clearly.  I'm a big one for clear communication as well, both spoken and written -- nothing drives me crazier more quickly than poor grammar, sloppy writing, or an inability to speak one's own language.  Additionally, I simply don't like any sort of round-about, indirect communication or ambiguity -- I much prefer knowing how things stand, in no uncertain terms.  And I truly detest playing communication games, where one is left to attempt to carefully parse through every uttered phrase to figure out the real meaning behind them; as far as I'm concerned, one should just speak one's mind -- politely, of course, but firmly -- and deal with reality from there.

Third, I look for intelligence -- insightful thoughts, quick wit, and some measure of informedness about the wider world.  Ignorance, narrowmindedness and a lack of curiosity all make me cold.  I want someone who knows a bit, and wants to know more, who can debate me on topics, and introduce me to subjects and points of view that I'd previously passed by without considering; I want someone with a mind, not just a pretty body and a bowed head.

Hmm, well, there's my list.  Good question -- hope my response was interesting for you.  Cheers.

< Message edited by norarc -- 10/21/2007 2:43:11 PM >

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Endangering the mundane since 1977.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 2:42:44 PM   
MDTopCouple


Posts: 44
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Ah, thanks LA.  I forgot about the search feature.

_____________________________

No, no, never a submissive anything! I'm a fully qualified, radical Desperado.
-Anne Stevenson
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.
-Lao Tzu

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 2:53:59 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I look for sanity.  I've found that sanity is very important to a BDSM relationship.  People underestimate sanity and rarely remember to include it in their list of desired attributes.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 3:03:52 PM   
MDTopCouple


Posts: 44
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Sanity should (it would seem to most)  be a "given".  It's a harsh statement of reality to know that we do have to list that quality as a required one.

_____________________________

No, no, never a submissive anything! I'm a fully qualified, radical Desperado.
-Anne Stevenson
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.
-Lao Tzu

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/21/2007 6:14:58 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		My top 3 traits:
  1. A desire to serve
  2. Honesty, especially about one's inner ("true") self.
  3. Courage


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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/22/2007 2:32:23 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		First, kudos on your pics, very sexy.
 
Qualities.....
 
Honesty. If I can't trust you, why would I want to have anything to do with you? Be open, speak the truth, be reliable and trustworthy.
 
Intelligence. Smart is sexy. Not just book-smarts, but more importantly, common sense.
 
Eagerness to please me, and obey me. That is the essence of submissivness.
 
Sense of humor. Life is too short, and I want as much laughter in it as I can find.
 
A good heart. I admire kindness.



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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/22/2007 6:24:12 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		>>FR<<

Honesty is the top of the list requirement for me.  Sincerity is equally important.  Intelligence follows very closely and then emotional stability.  Sense of humor is also very important, as I tend to enjoy life and hope to have those around me enjoy it also.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 3:55:40 PM   
SlaveOwnerDave


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Petaluma, CA
Status: offline 		daisy,
Here are My top three slave-requirements:

1. slaveheart is necessary for My slave to BE a slave.
2. Ethics:  Because honesty, loyalty, etc. are required; both by and of Me.
3. General personality:  My slave has humor, consciously wants to serve Me, has a reasonable minimum of intelligence, actually likes to communicate, likes cats, doesn't spook easily, can handle My 'orders must be obeyed exactly, but about everything else I am easy-going' way of doing things.

Nice-looking is desirable, too.

Sincerely,
Master Dave

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 7:10:30 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Top 4:
1.  Loyalty & obidience
2.  Benevolence
3.  Intelligence
4.  Physical appearance

Loyality and obidience is simply a basis for a relationship.  In general, I see malicious individuals as vermin (so I wouldn't tolerate one near me).

I'm big on intelligence, though it's a strong plus, not a necessity like the previous qualities.  A good-hearted loyal girl can serve as a good pet, even if not an overly stimulating partner.

Physical appearance is, obviously, a plus, though not quite as strong of a plus as intelligence.  I tend to find relatively few girls physically attractive, and the rest are at a relative par, so it's not normally a point of concern.  (It's kind of like if you're looking for a house.  Do you want a house with in indoor pool?  Yeah, of course, it's great.  But do you really expect a house to have it?  No, not normally, as most houses don't.  Since I find so few physically attractive, I tend to not expect it.  It's not a negative for a girl not to be attractive to me, but it is a plus if she happens to be one of the few who is.)  But, in the end, whether or not a slave is sexually attractive, they still gain the physical attraction that a lover tends to have for another as I'm generally in relationships with a strong romantic aspect.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 7:21:20 PM   
BrokenSaint


Posts: 301
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline 		I don't really see a bad or undesireable quality in this thread. However here are my own top 3.

1) Personality: A very obvious one I think, at least in my own mind/preference. If I wanted an idiot, I would pick up a random ditz in a bar. They don't have to be an absolute genius, but a minimum level of intelligence I feel is necessary both to understand the dynamic of the relationship, as well as live in it for a long period of time. Not only that but I expect a certain amount of wit and charm. Compassion, etc also factor into this for me.

2) Ethics (I rather like SOD's combination of these, serves to simplify and combine desirable qualities under a more comprehensive banner.). As mentioned, honesty, loyalty, I'll toss trust in there too. A vital component I think of any relationship, from friends all the way to mates and slaves.

3) Amen to sanity. Being involved in psych myself, and having been involved in a relationship with a borderline before...this cannot be overlooked. Crazy might seem fun, and quite often is, until they're tossing household objects (sometimes pointy, sometimes blunt and heavy) at your head :D.


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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 7:26:36 PM   
wintersbreath


Posts: 23
Status: offline 		I am a bit vain so number one on my list would be attractive ( to me ); then the ability to communicate with some intelligence; and the ability to laugh at himself.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 7:35:44 PM   
BrokenSaint


Posts: 301
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline 		See I've always put the attractive quality as a given myself. Not strictly like model quality, but at least attractive to one's self. 

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 7:59:32 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MDTopCouple

Sirs,
 
What are the top three (more or less if you desire) that you look for in all your submissives and/or slaves?
 
My own Sir gave me His:
 
1. Personal responsibility
2. Honesty
3. Ability to communicate effectively
 
I'd love to know what yours are.
 
-daisy


An admiration for the Female sex;
Selfless devotion; and
The ability to trust and be trusted.

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 10/30/2007 8:00:02 PM >

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 9:34:50 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I asked my Master this question His answers are 1.Christian  2. openmindedness. 3.  level of submissiveness.

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 9:44:01 PM   
PryderiLoup


Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		The more I read this thread the more I realize that I do not look for anything really D/s related. I look for someone that is intelligent, likes to joke and banter, and is willing to try new things. None of this is really D/s

That being said, there are some D/s things that attract me, or would turn me away, but I do not look for them first. Most of them, as I have said before, are negotiable.


< Message edited by PryderiLoup -- 10/30/2007 9:45:20 PM >

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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/30/2007 10:06:20 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I look, in subs and slaves, for the same traits that I look for from anyone who might become a special part of my life:
1) Compatability in goals, attitudes and likes/dislikes.
2) Good moral fiber, or, if their ethics differ from mine, a clear understanding of said ethics.
3) Their ability to create/maintian a relationship is symbiotic rather than parasitic.

Master Fire


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RE: What qualities do you look for? - 10/31/2007 4:49:50 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		There is no single quality that I look for; it's a combination of qualities that are shown only through time spent together.



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