RE: Under Consideration

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MasterDaveM -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 11:08:41 AM)
"Under Consideration" is a complete and utter bullshit statement used to lock down the sub/slave so she isnt talking to anyone else, but yet not make her feel committed and therefore pushed into a submission. The sub/slave likes it because she doesnt feel like she has to commit to anything, and the Dom/Master uses it as a tool to get what he wants (usually cyber action and/or unfettered access to the girl without worrying that she is hooking up with another) under consideration is short for "ok you are mine, kinda, but not really, just dont make anyone else cum" some Dom/Masters use it to sound all cool because most men in this lifestyle know enough to know that women like what they cant have. therefore by being "under consideration" it makes the sub/slave "want the collar more" basically its a bullshit game

ResidentSadist -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 11:15:46 AM)
In my personal experience, I do not use “collars of consideration”. I think my aversion to that terms is because I do not collar someone until after I have given careful consideration to the matter. However, my practice is similar to the intent of a collar of consideration… it is a 90 day training collar. I have taken this person into my life and will be training them. At the 90 day point, everyone takes a day or two off from the relationship to give it their “consideration”. We all separate from each other’s sphere of influence for a day or two. Then with a clear head and among friends and counsel if we choose, we can examine and evaluate the relationship. At the 91 day point, if all involved believe the relationship is constructive, the incoming slave’s original domicile can be dissolved and I fully integrate them financial and legally into the family… ceremonially.

SoulPiercer -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 11:49:15 AM)
Since the "C" in SSC stands for "Consensual" - I don't think all the blame for the "under consideration" flap can be placed at the feet of the Dominant. I always viewed "under consideration" the same as "protected or mentored by MasterLivesInMommysBasement". When I see it, my first thought is: She's under consideration this week. Next week she'll be whining about the fact that she can't find anyone who isn't a liar, fake or wannabe. I also believe that for some reason, many people feel this need to change the way they speak/behave in order to prove their kinkiness to the rest of the world, especially when communicating in the cyber realm. I mean, why the hell do people say "Greetings, E/everyone!" When it's just as easy to say "Wut up fools!" ?

MasterDaveM -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 12:06:18 PM)
quote: "protected or mentored by MasterLivesInMommysBasement". ..............I mean, why the hell do people say "Greetings, E/everyone!" When it's just as easy to say "Wut up fools!" ? lol. too funny. lol lol welcome to the cyber world of bdsm... everyone trying to outmaster or outkink the other one... just like the whip masters who have a rack of every colored whip known to man and therefore they must be the dommiest dom of them all. bdsm brings more than its share of cartoon characters to the lifestyle... ever been to a munch? (every guy wearing black and carrying at least a whip keychain that he keeps fondling... all the women are 48 years old, 387 pounds and have online nicknames like "lilsexyshortiekittenbunny"

KatyLied -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 1:01:28 PM)
quote: ever been to a munch? (every guy wearing black and carrying at least a whip keychain that he keeps fondling... all the women are 48 years old, 387 pounds and have online nicknames like "lilsexyshortiekittenbunny" You do realize they will now burn you at the stake for these comments...

MasterDaveM -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 1:57:58 PM)
quote: You do realize they will now burn you at the stake for these comments... you telling me its not the "truth"? lol

ownedgirlie -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 2:15:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular I think it is a ridiculous term. Why cannot a relationship be expressed for what it is. OK. 3 1/2 years ago he was considering whether or not he wanted to own me and evaluating me on that basis. How should we have expressed that? :) How should you have expressed that to whom? "I'm serving him." "She's serving me." Beyond that, what else does everyone else need to know? juliet I was being facetious. No one needed to know anything other than what we felt like telling them. And at the time, we felt like telling them I was under his consideration for ownership. Beyond that...who cares, ya know?! [;)] It's interesting to me, how a word or phrase elicits such responses and opinions from people. Not interesting in a bad way, just interesting.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 2:18:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 Owned...I don't think you're a whack job...just a bit more extreme than most people on here. But, hey, if it works for you, then it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Hey there, bandit - thanks! But I've kinda defined myself as a whack job. That saves everyone else the effort, lol. And nah, I'm not wrapped up in what the masses think. Those who are important to me understand me (and some of them think I'm a whack job, too...heh). It's all good :)

ownedgirlie -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 2:20:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: How should we have expressed that? :) We're seeing each other. We're in a relationship. We're in an exclusive relationship. I submit to him. He dominates me. We share a power exchange dynamic. OK. So why are all these phrases acceptable but "He's considering whether or not he wants to own me" is not? I'm scratching my head over here. Who writes these rules anyway? Now we have to follow acceptable BDSM-speak? No thanks! I like my own language - at least I can understand it! Edited to add: Back then, I'm not sure either of us thought about it much. We knew we weren't fully ready to commit to each other but we both thought we might want to...I remember asking him, "So what are we then?" and he shrugged and said, "I'm training you at your request, and considering owning you. So say you're under consideration." It really wasn't a big grand ol' issue or anything, no major announcements, no collars, nothing like that. Maybe that's why I'm amused at the reactions I am seeing here. It was a shrug & a nod to us...

Rover -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 2:30:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LonDom61 The outbox... Might that be the, uh, back door? If the shoe fits... did I say that? John

Rover -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 2:39:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer Since the "C" in SSC stands for "Consensual" - I don't think all the blame for the "under consideration" flap can be placed at the feet of the Dominant. I always viewed "under consideration" the same as "protected or mentored by MasterLivesInMommysBasement". When I see it, my first thought is: She's under consideration this week. Next week she'll be whining about the fact that she can't find anyone who isn't a liar, fake or wannabe. I also believe that for some reason, many people feel this need to change the way they speak/behave in order to prove their kinkiness to the rest of the world, especially when communicating in the cyber realm. I mean, why the hell do people say "Greetings, E/everyone!" When it's just as easy to say "Wut up fools!" ? Dude, I gotta have coffee and a conversation with you. Hope our paths cross sometime. John

BitaTruble -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 2:54:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: How should we have expressed that? :) We're seeing each other. We're in a relationship. We're in an exclusive relationship. I submit to him. He dominates me. We share a power exchange dynamic. OK. So why are all these phrases acceptable but "He's considering whether or not he wants to own me" is not? I'm scratching my head over here. Who writes these rules anyway? Now we have to follow acceptable BDSM-speak? No thanks! I like my own language - at least I can understand it! We're seeing each other. This one sort of works for me, actually. Deciding to embark on a relationship by actually seeing each other: who the other person is, what they are about, how they behave and such is a pretty good way to judge compatibility. The problem, though, is that 'seeing each other' doesn't have anything to do with becoming collared or owned whereas I see 'under consideration' as 'seeing someone' with a purpose to earn a collar, become owned (insert terminology of choice) etc. We're in a relationship - Well, would work if the parties are actually 'in' a relationship but since a lot of time they still giving thoughtful consideration on whether or not they want a relationship, I'm afraid I'd have to toss this phrase out. It just doesn't work. Deciding whether or not you want a relationship just isn't the same as actually being in a relationship. We're in an exclusive relationship - Really hard to do that exclusive thing when you're poly plus the same reasons that 'we're in a relationship' don't apply, so that one won't work either. I submit to him - I don't know about anyone else, but I don't submit to anyone until I've considered whether or not I want to and that's usually going to be after spending a great deal of time getting to know them. The submission, in my neck of the woods, comes after the consideration, not before or during. He dominates me - same as above, so throwing this one out as well. We share a power dynamic - Well, not until we both decided to do such, which, again, seems to come after considering whether or not such would be a mutually beneficial and viable choice. Gonna have to throw this one out the door as well. Nothing says it quite like 'under consideration'. I read that as .. We are giving each other the time it takes to assess our compatibility, explore our mutual desires, express ourselves as we are to see if the other person wants to move on down the road by our side and until such time as that avenue is explored, I'd prefer not to engage in spreading myself to thin by going down other paths with other people. A whole bunch of ideas and concepts that can be fairly and succinctly summed up with two little words - under consideration. Thoughtful consideration, measured in baby steps until we get to the point where we come to a mutual understanding, either yay or nay, to having a relationship. What a horror. Someone needs to be horsewhipped for such an idea. Okay, okay. I'll volunteer to be whipping girl 'cuz I'm all like a philanthropist and stuff donchaknow. [8D] Celeste

ownedgirlie -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 3:01:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Nothing says it quite like 'under consideration'. There's a marketing campaign in this, I can feel it. Hallmark? DeBeers?

BitaTruble -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 3:02:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Nothing says it quite like 'under consideration'. There's a marketing campaign in this, I can feel it. Hallmark? DeBeers? Well, hell, girlie.. if I have a choice, I'll take DeBeers! [sm=biggrin.gif] Celeste

laurell3 -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 4:41:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer Since the "C" in SSC stands for "Consensual" - I don't think all the blame for the "under consideration" flap can be placed at the feet of the Dominant. I always viewed "under consideration" the same as "protected or mentored by MasterLivesInMommysBasement". When I see it, my first thought is: She's under consideration this week. Next week she'll be whining about the fact that she can't find anyone who isn't a liar, fake or wannabe. I also believe that for some reason, many people feel this need to change the way they speak/behave in order to prove their kinkiness to the rest of the world, especially when communicating in the cyber realm. I mean, why the hell do people say "Greetings, E/everyone!" When it's just as easy to say "Wut up fools!" ? Rofl welcome to the forums SoulPiercer I look forward to reading more of your posts. l

julietsierra -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 6:34:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I was being facetious. No one needed to know anything other than what we felt like telling them. And at the time, we felt like telling them I was under his consideration for ownership. Beyond that...who cares, ya know?! [;)] It's interesting to me, how a word or phrase elicits such responses and opinions from people. Not interesting in a bad way, just interesting. Actually, speaking just for myself (and risking the flames of "just cause you're a weak individual... " possibilities), I can tell you exactly what's wrong with the words "under consideration." And perhaps, what's wrong with them for me might be just the reason other people use them, I don't know... All I do know is that "under consideration" would make a relationship not working out so much more personal than simply that it didn't work. To me, "under consideration" would entail me being considered and found wanting/less than/a failure rather than us simply being as we are until we decide that this is something we want to make permanent. So... in the end, to me, it's not that those who use the terms are ______ (you fill in the blank of derogatory terms), it's because I can't handle feeling like a personal failure if things don't work out. And because of that, I looked for someone who understood this and whose personal beliefs about D/s matched mine enough so that I didn't have to deal with the personal fall out if things didn't work out. I am an excrutiatingly private person when it comes to the details of my relationships. I'd never choose to have the world (the bdsm community around here) know the details of my relationship while we were still figuring them out ourselves. While I am a much more confident person now than I was back then, I don't think my self-esteem could have dealt with a very public rebuff if we had gone the "under consideration" route and then things not have worked out. And to tell the truth, if I had to do this all over again with someone else, I would be reluctant to go down the "under consideration" road now as well. I've always said my relationships are not based on concensus and being so public about that time of exploration within our relationship would have pretty much amounted to that in my mind (even if not in reality). And that's the deeper reason why I don't like the term "under consideration." juliet

gracieamelia -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 6:38:57 PM)
Is pre-owned like "under consideration"? Make sure the pre-owned model is certified, the right make and model, doesnt drool oil, has the right horse power and of all things, dont forget there cant be baggage in the truck.

julietsierra -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 6:42:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gracieamelia Is pre-owned like "under consideration"? Make sure the pre-owned model is certified, the right make and model, doesnt drool oil, has the right horse power and of all things, dont forget there cant be baggage in the truck. there's always baggage in the trunk...it's just a matter of how much. On the other hand, junk in the trunk isn't so bad...and in the right portions, can be kinda cute. juliet

adoracat -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 7:00:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM welcome to the cyber world of bdsm... everyone trying to outmaster or outkink the other one... just like the whip masters who have a rack of every colored whip known to man and therefore they must be the dommiest dom of them all. bdsm brings more than its share of cartoon characters to the lifestyle... ever been to a munch? (every guy wearing black and carrying at least a whip keychain that he keeps fondling... all the women are 48 years old, 387 pounds and have online nicknames like "lilsexyshortiekittenbunny" oh c'mon. i'm 44, only weigh 178, and i'm the one with the whip keychain, for all that i'm the owned property. and Daddy wears a three stooges tshirt on many an occasion! kitten, who absolutely can take a joke.... ;)

ownedgirlie -> RE: Under Consideration (10/28/2007 7:03:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra And that's the deeper reason why I don't like the term "under consideration." juliet Hi juliet, Thank you very much for your personal explanation of what those words mean to you and why you are averse to them. I appreciate the insight, and understand your perspective much better than those who are going on about how "under consideration" is bullshit for wacky chat playing game players and the like. Yours is the only explanation in this thread that has actually made sense to me. And while I personally do not feel as you do, I completely understand and respect your feelings here, and I appreciate you bothering to share them.

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