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TheRaiveness -> The Artist (8/1/2005 2:56:29 AM)
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So there I sat,
Disaster in one hand
And a partially dull razor blade in the other.
Never with the left hand,
Never with the left.
I wasn't steady enough.
Fear wasn't in either hand;
It was lodged somewhere in my chest
Between my throat
And the space your hearts supposed to fill.
Every time my mind drifted to the future
It would thrust itself up against my innards
And thud loudly,
A meaty thucking sound that sped up when I let my mind wander.
It was a sound I heard all too often.
My mind wanders too much.
As I perform
I wonder where the dead bodies from the ships lost at sea drift.
I'm sure,
At least in my mind that they secretly find their way home.
I'm reminded of the black rivers that feed the beast that consumes us.
It's mouth sucks in and licks at us
As the ocean drains the deepest of rivers.
Bright blue to some,
Blood red to others.
When the land bleeds
Only those who have the same color in their veins feel it.
It runs thicker in those who are the earth
Than in those who drag their fingers through it
And wiggle their toes in it.
I, like the rivers of my youth
Run red.
The silver edge of freedom splits open the palest skin,
Revealing rivers of life that have yet to be ridden
Or explored.
No one has yet to fish in them,
And I have yet to see the white foamy rapids of destruction in their midst.
But they are deep still,
And darker than night.
I still wonder myself
If there is a bottom to the murky void in my veins.
I was birthed by the ocean,
She is hot, salty, and alive in me.
And when I release her,
Drop by lactescent drop.
She sighs gently
And tickles me in the most erogenous of places,
Happy to see the outside world.
She has laughed quietly in the past,
But now her voice grows stronger and louder
As the drops fall faster and closer together.
One day
She will scream.
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