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MsWorthy -> RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's how. (10/26/2007 11:14:23 AM)
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The single most important quality, and I consider this a prerequisite, to becoming a domme is the need or desire to have control. If having control over another person (to some degree, whatever that is for you) doesn't excite you - you may as well give it up.
All of the rest is technique.
All of the rest can be learned.
If you want control, and you are able to accept it when it is offered to you, you have the basics.
In becoming an effective domme, the most important thing is to be yourself. You can't dominate someone in another person's style. It has to be your style, and it has to be something you enjoy.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to know how to use a strap-on.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to like anal play.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to want your man meek.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to be harsh or mean or angry.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to wear fetish clothing or gear.
Being a domme means that you want control, your way, with a person who turns you on (mentally or physically).
Talk to your partner to see if s/he likes what you like. It's ok to be in "role" but it's ok to just be yourself, too. Start experimenting. Start playing around with what sounds fun to both of you. But, if it doesn't feel good to you, if it isn't fun or exciting, don't try to make yourself do it anyway.
Making yourself do anything you don't want to do makes you anything but a domme.
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