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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/24/2007 8:01:18 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Check this link out folks http://bpdresourcecenter.org/


_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to RedheadGirlNY)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 1:57:04 PM   
candi4dody


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder many years ago, spend about 10 years in therapy but WTF! I am much happier now as a sub than I have EVER been in my life!
Candi

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 2:15:05 PM   
MasterDaveM


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline 		i dont know if i disagree with the analysis that a relatively high percentage of people in the bdsm lifestyle are abuse survivors. i dont think that is always the case, but i have seen a high degree of abuse victim/abuse perpatrator in the lifestyle

i would be interested in seeing the stats on it. i am sure its like anything else... situational and dependant on the person, but those who WOULD abuse would certainly gravitate to this lifestyle under uneducated face value of the appearances of what bdsm is (even the vanillia assume that BDSM is about whips and chains and being smacked around)... this may not be the REALITY, but on first observation this would be the assumption

i am sure many of you have seen cases on tv where there was a "slave contract" in an abuse situation... and the media plays it off as "a wackadoo guy"... and yet you may see it as "hey... thats a safe, sane and consentual contract that is common in this lifestyle)

if, for example someone where to hurt a sub/slave in a "session", and was prosecuted, you can believe that that perpetrator would be blowtorched by the media, jury and general public as a "sicko"

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 2:48:40 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		If the media and ignorant people so quick to call out a witch hunt on people in BDSM, wouldn't it be more logical NOT to do it in case it goes to court? More victims as well. I've read of a case in a psychology book about a contract being used, but the guy was still a wackadoo.

However, while it might be true, also consider that people might just be more open about history when talking about something that might trigger a bad memory.

And it's still damn impolite to assume that everyone here is a abuse survivor. Also, the guy that contacted the OP is still talking so much out of his ass, his mouth has probably atrophied from not being in use anymore.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 2:52:30 PM   
MasterDaveM


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline
quote:

And it's still damn impolite to assume that everyone here is a abuse survivor

i dont think the OP is implying that EVERYONE on here is an abuser/abuse survivor... he/she is just stating that there is a high propensity for it in the lifestyle. i am not in complete disagreement

(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 3:01:33 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		The OP is laughing her ass off at a guy who asked her who abused her and thought that any sub in BDSM has BPD. I don't think that the OP is saying that most people in BDSM were abused. And I think that making generalizations with no proof is still damn impolite.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 3:03:14 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		i agree, i dont think that the op meant that at all. I think its a terrible assumption to make. 

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There would be no gossip without secrets
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(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 3:10:34 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I doubt it's true that everyone into bdsm was abused, I do however think it's true that many were to some extent.  I'm not sure it matters that much as long as we are not in it for the wrong reasons.  If one seeks to re-enact childhood abuse because it's comfortable, then that's an issue in my opinion.

But I think most of the people into the lifestyle that I have talked to about this are somewhere in a middle range.  The theory I have heard and read and had explained to me from someone who has a Phd in psychology and has been working with behaviorally impaired kids for decades is that children that are exposed to abuse or are abused can develop an alternate sexuality because of that exposure.  However, he is the first to point that that people that grow up under exreme circumstances don't necessarily recreate the situation and become abusers themselves, in fact many do everything they can to avoid that, moreso than others not subjected.

The extreme pattern is more readily apparent in domestic violence victims and perpetrators.  A huge majority of them grew up in abusive situations or were exposed to extreme trauma or patterns of domestic violence.

The bottom line is this...so what?  One of the hardest things I had to learn as an adult is that I didn't ask for my past nor did I deserve it.  I am what I am and I'm happy with it.  As long as one can say that and have healthy relationships, the origin isn't paticularly important in my opinion. 

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 4:04:09 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM

quote:

And it's still damn impolite to assume that everyone here is a abuse survivor

i dont think the OP is implying that EVERYONE on here is an abuser/abuse survivor... he/she is just stating that there is a high propensity for it in the lifestyle. i am not in complete disagreement



The person who said a high percentage in the lifestyle were abuse victims, and the wacko talking out of his ass about me having BPD were 2 different people. i was mentioning the first one after being contacted and told I had this disorder based on my profile and I guess the fact that I am a sub. What the weirdo said is cut and pasted here in earlier postings. I was just correlating these different instances as reference points. The one who said the incidence of abuse survivors in BDSM was actually a Master and a very nice and smart man.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 4:23:02 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		candi;

I'm sure you werent diagnosed by someone e-mailing you and diagnosong you through reading a profile. Most likely you had a qualified therapist who diagnosed you after spending intensive time with you before making a diagnosis. this armchair wackoanalist didnt know me or ever meet me. In his first e-mail he told me I had this. I guess all us subs are guilty of having this disorder.

Everyone:

So what do you think of someone who thinks all subs are BPD?? I am just wanting opinions on this? Who thinks its true and who thinks its bull?

(in reply to candi4dody)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/28/2007 5:01:15 PM   
MasterDaveM


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline
quote:

So what do you think of someone who thinks all subs are BPD?? I am just wanting opinions on this? Who thinks its true and who thinks its bull?


i think that its bullshit to say "everyone" is this or that in any situation. being a submissive isnt a personality flaw by any stretch. my mother is a single mom that raised 3 kids and took care of business... not because she wanted to... but because she HAD to... her very nature is absolutely submissive... life just didnt give her the opportunity to have a good man to submit to, so she was forced to take on a role that she didnt want

dominant and submissive is a personality trait... neither being inherantly good or bad

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 12:14:05 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Gosh i still am not liking the overtones that its terrible having mental issues. But id say hes a pathetic idiot with a seriously deluded mind.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 12:19:09 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM

quote:

So what do you think of someone who thinks all subs are BPD?? I am just wanting opinions on this? Who thinks its true and who thinks its bull?


i think that its bullshit to say "everyone" is this or that in any situation. being a submissive isnt a personality flaw by any stretch. my mother is a single mom that raised 3 kids and took care of business... not because she wanted to... but because she HAD to... her very nature is absolutely submissive... life just didnt give her the opportunity to have a good man to submit to, so she was forced to take on a role that she didnt want

dominant and submissive is a personality trait... neither being inherantly good or bad


Trust me buddy although you state in your profile you have no "issues", you in fact do.  We all do.  Get over it and stop distinguishing yourself as some superhuman being, you ain't all that.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 12:55:45 PM   
MasterDaveM


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Trust me buddy although you state in your profile you have no "issues", you in fact do.  We all do.  Get over it and stop distinguishing yourself as some superhuman being, you ain't all that.



I dont think that I described my self as super human in any way shape or form... but dont lay YOUR issues on me. I simply stated that I am basically a very grounded and practical man. If you take offense to that, then that is YOUR issue... not mine

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 2:21:00 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM

quote:

So what do you think of someone who thinks all subs are BPD?? I am just wanting opinions on this? Who thinks its true and who thinks its bull?


i think that its bullshit to say "everyone" is this or that in any situation. being a submissive isnt a personality flaw by any stretch. my mother is a single mom that raised 3 kids and took care of business... not because she wanted to... but because she HAD to... her very nature is absolutely submissive... life just didnt give her the opportunity to have a good man to submit to, so she was forced to take on a role that she didnt want

dominant and submissive is a personality trait... neither being inherantly good or bad


Trust me buddy although you state in your profile you have no "issues", you in fact do.  We all do.  Get over it and stop distinguishing yourself as some superhuman being, you ain't all that.


I agree with you laurell3.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 2:24:19 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I think a problem with saying that subs will tend to have a certain disorder is that no one thinks of the reverse. What is it about a dom, a mater or whatnot that makes them NEED to be so controlling? Just personality? Or some deeper issue? Or do we just not care and just take them at face value?

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 4:36:18 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I dont know why they are picking on you. you have acted quite respectful in this forum even with those throwing daggers at you. I thank you for this.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/29/2007 4:39:15 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Its the same as issues of body size. Only women get picked on. Did you know in a social forum a man who sheds a tear is considered sensitive. if a woman does the same she is out of control. so Bill Clinton can cry and Hilary cant. There is and always will be a double standard.

At least we glisten, while men sweat!

(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/30/2007 12:39:55 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I think one of the worst things is when women themselves reinforce these negative stereotypes. I dont think what sexual organs affect how much baggage you have or whatever, no one is nor ever will be perfect, such is life. If we feel better by claiming a superiority over those that admit to theirs and say its part of them well thats your choice aint it. 

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/30/2007 2:18:33 PM   
InnocentYoungSub


Posts: 210
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedheadGirlNY

I have a sibling who is BPD and who has demonstrated all of those behaviors at one time or another.  On the advice of a mental health expert, all contact was cut off from the sibling some eight years ago.  Sad, but life improved immensely for those of us who disengaged from the person. 


So you abandoned your sibling? That seems really awful.


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I live for.. I die for.. I breathe for..

(in reply to RedheadGirlNY)
Profile   Post #: 60
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