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RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 1:48:37 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

i loved hearing the happy stories. It's so nice to know that there are real relationships out there and peole are happy in them. In my real life i see so many subs going from wanna be Master to wanna be Master and they are so unhappy. Thanks everyone for sharing your happiness with me and letting me share mine.


How does being in love make your relationship real? Love is great but sometimes it isn't enough to make a relationship work and sometimes people have great relationships without love. I require it to be happy in my relationships, but that doesn't make the other ones fake.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 2:13:07 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I definitely love my Master. And he loves me. It's been a nice slow progression with neither of us being moved to tell each other soon in our relationship. I was ready first. So I told him. It didn't matter if he loved me in return or not. I simply loved - and needed to tell him so. No reciprocity anticipated or needed.

Later on - months later (heck! over a YEAR later), he finally told me. He said in his mind people say the words and never mean them. He wanted to show me through his actions but that sometimes, he felt I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me.

I said I always knew but that the words were special too. Said I never asked him because I never wanted him to feel I was attempting to wheedle statements like that out of him. This way, when he finally got around to telling me, I'd know that he meant it.

When I told him how I felt, I meant it.

He told me.

He meant it.


juliet

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 4:07:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Agreed with Aqua- I've seen some horribly abusive crap situations where people stayed together to allow their child to get beaten bloddy on a regular basis just because of "love."

And lots of healthy 'just play' relationships between great friends that last for years.

Love really has nothing to do with making a RELATIONSHIP strong, healthy, and lasting.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 4:11:12 PM   
TakenPet


Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
Status: offline 		LA you are right love can be somewhat toxic/complicating to an M/s relationship.

(in reply to Argentopal)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 4:12:23 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I could be wrong, but I don't think that was her point.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TakenPet)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 4:25:45 PM   
frazzle40


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Not sure how you can totally give to someone without 'love' being part of it.  
What is love?    
Havent seen a definition yet that everyone agrees with.
Vanilla, BDSM!!!     I want my partner to be happy, want me, I will do everything i can.     I want the same.    
Is that love???



(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 4:28:51 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40
What is love? 
Havent seen a definition yet that everyone agrees with.



You will get as many different answers to that question as there are people on this board probably. I highly doubt there will ever be a defination of love that everyone agrees with.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to frazzle40)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 6:02:40 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		In love, married 39 years. 

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 6:19:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TakenPet
LA you are right love can be somewhat toxic/complicating to an M/s relationship.

That wasn't my point at all, as Aquatic said.  I said love has NOTHING to do with making a relationship work.

This includes bad stuff.

If an Ms relationship finds love toxic, that means they have an issue with how they work together, not the love in and of itself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TakenPet)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 6:25:57 PM   
southernhart


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline 		Frendship is  a form of love. Just on a different level.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 6:33:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I understand that you assign a particular experience of "love" for yourself to be something you have universally with all of the relationships you label as "friendship."

That hardly means that ALL friendships are simply another way of using a particular experience of "love."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: i wonder - 10/24/2007 6:43:32 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		so now I have that song in my head...
what is love?
baby don't hurt me
don't hurt me no more....

not really apt for this board, but it's there nonetheless.....

all joking aside, I know for me it's possible to have  d/s relationship where the emotions don't rise to the feeling of "love" quite sucessfully, I'm just not sure I really want to personally.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: i wonder - 10/25/2007 2:46:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		While I hate to disappoint anyone who was hoping for a different answer, no, I am not romantically in love with My submissive.  That doesn't mean he is just another plaything to Me. My submissive comes only behind My husband, um's, and grand um in My life.  I am very much attached to him, but O/our situation does not involve romantic love.  Another type, yes, but not the same.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: i wonder - 10/26/2007 4:39:05 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

While I hate to disappoint anyone who was hoping for a different answer, no, I am not romantically in love with My submissive.  That doesn't mean he is just another plaything to Me. My submissive comes only behind My husband, um's, and grand um in My life.  I am very much attached to him, but O/our situation does not involve romantic love.  Another type, yes, but not the same.


that makes sense to me too.  i mean...i dont feel romantic love for my mother, or for my UM's, or for good friends, but that doesnt mean i love them any *less* than someone i feel romantic love for. 

caring, deep affection, love...all types "count"

kitten, multi-dimensional

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 34
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