Angel (Full Version)

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MsTempestRaven -> Angel (8/1/2005 11:20:46 AM)

She was the one, who waited for me,
She waited for me at the edge of the sea,
Her skin was as white as snow,
And it shined as she waited, for me to show,
Her hair was dark as night,
And I smiled as I saw her in my sight,
She was the one from my mind,
She was the one I came to find,
She was an angel sent from above,
She was the one that I could love.
She smiled and reached out to my hand,
Her feet making no mark on the golden sand,
She seemed to flicker at first glance,
But she was real and she asked me to dance,
We danced hand in hand until the setting sun,
She taught me all about love and gratitude and fun,
My hand stroked her midnight hair,
She was for all time, my maiden fair,
We lay in the sand and stared at the stars in the sky,
But as morning approached she had to say goodbye,
I was the one that waited for her,
Cloaked in mist and wrapped in fur,
I was a werewolf born from the night,
She was an angel born from the light,
She had to go, she had to leave,
But I still, completely believe,
That she waited for me,
On the shores of the dark sea




Bluff -> RE: Angel (8/13/2005 5:03:24 PM)

wonderfull!
just to make a change,
on the rhyme,
just one spot?
what do you think?

I was the one that waited for her,
Cloaked in mist and wrapped in fur,

to replace with,

i was the one that waited for sure,
Cloaked in mist and wrapped in fur,

its obvious that he is waiting for her,
so the second version (correction)
may be better?

the hoof cleaved into the claw!
cleave cleave and fly!

oh i,m sorry my awful english!
the pronounciation of fur and her
i thought was different!
probably it isnt!
sure and fur do they have similar pronaunciations?
i thought so....
fur like in infer?
and her?
or fur and sure?




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