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slavegirljoy -> RE: is it wrong to want forced submission? (10/26/2007 5:54:55 PM)
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Are you wanting this for yourself or for your mother? If it's not for yourself, maybe you need to rethink this and figure out what you do want for yourself, before getting involved in something that might end up being the worst thing to ever happen to you. In can be the best thing but, probably not, if it's for the wrong reasons.
Why don't you feel that you are already a worthwhile person? Why do you feel that it requires someone else to beat you down and mold you into a worthwhile person?
It's not wrong to want to make changes in your life for the better but, are you wanting to change your behavior, that might be negative or destructive or, are you wanting to change who you are, because you don't feel good about yourself? If you don't feel good about yourself, you might want to talk with a professional counselor, who is kink-friendly, so that you can sort out your negative feelings about yourself. For a listing of Kink Aware Professionals see, http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=75.
There's nothing wrong with having a strong desire to be a slave or to have strong desires to be forced to do things for your Master or to have strong desires to be punished or disciplined or to feel pain. Your feelings of worthlessness, however, could be a problem, because, i believe that, if you feel that you are worthless, no amount of physical pain or punishment or forced enslavement or love or anything else is going to help you to stop feeling worthless. That's something that you need to work out within yourself and that can sometimes be more easily done with the help of a professional counselor.
i have struggled with periods of feeling worthless, sometimes for very long stretches of time, and i had to work at turning those feelings around and believing in my value as a person and as a slave. Master David has been the best therapist i have ever known. He has been extremely patient and has worked with me to help me learn how to get rid of most of those old, destructive, self-doubting and self-hating thoughts that i carried with me. He couldn't do that for me. i had to do it. He couldn't beat it out of me but, He could help me to learn to change my negative way of thinking and looking at myself. He has given me so much more confidence in myself than i have ever known before. And, that confidence and self-worth have made me a much better slave than i was before.
i don't serve and take beatings for the purpose of punishing myself for being a 'bad' person. i serve and take beatings because i believe it is what i was destined to do and it's what i am truly good at and it's what gives me a feeling of peace inside.
You can be a slave and still feel like a worthwhile person. It's okay to be a slave who enjoys being forced and enjoys feeling pain and enjoys being humiliated and told that she's worthless. And, you can do that, while feeling that you are a person of worth and value. i am such a slave. i have a deep need and desire to be completely owned and to be forced to do lots of things that i wouldn't do on my own and to be humiliated and humbled and, i know that i am a person of worth and value.
i am worthy of being my Master's slave and i know that my Master considers me worthy, also. i could have been in a very bad place, if i had felt worthless and i had gone to serve a Master who didn't see any worth in me and treated me like a piece of shit or a disposable being. That could have ended tragically. Now, i have the life i have dreamed of and searched for, for so many years, and i know that i will be able to live this life for as many years as i have left on earth. It's a very nice thing to be a slave because you want to be a slave and you feel good about being a slave. i chose this life for myself because i know it's where i belong and where i feel my best. It was a conscious choice, i made for myself and, not for anyone else.
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ORIGINAL: lilshortyslave
i am a slave who wishes to find soemone who can break me and mould me into something worthwhile. however, due to the way i was brought up i am stubborn and irriating.
i want to find a Master who can break me. which at some points could turn out to be forced slavery, is that wrong to want to be changed for the better,.
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i am a second generation slave, my mother is an owned slave, she want me to be like her, and i want to make her proud. some one please give me some guidance
(Note: i highlighted the parts that i wanted to address in my response to you)
Best wishes in your journey.
slave joy
Owned property of Master David
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