Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops!

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Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/1/2005 7:42:59 PM

LadySonelle

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From: Santa Fe NM
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I was discussing politics with someone today and I started thinking... One really strong reason that I am a Dominant (and a liberal) is because I hate cruelty!

Say *what*?!! The Woman who wields a vicious whip, a nasty paddle, who, to quote Tom Lehrer "Can raise welts, like nobody else" hates cruelty? Well, yes. There is a difference, as we all know, between BDSM and real world, actual cruelty, cold indifference to suffering and refusal to aid the weak and endangered among us.

I laugh. Back in 1984 while scrambling into the car to go to gay Pride March in Los Angeles, I had My thumb slammed in the car door. The pain was incredible and the nail was split right down the middle. The thumb was black, violet, orange, blue, red... I did not eant to miss the festival and parade, so I opted not to go to the ER. Instead I marched and reveled, enjoyed the fair, and showed My mashed digit to every fierce leather upholstered Topman in sight. I laughed at the cringing reactions I got! But yes, I strongly feel that most Tops are motivated by a sense of empathy, compassion, care for the suffering and a desire to make things better. Real pain, pain inflicted on the weak or the unconsenting, angers most (if not all) Tops and motivates them to action to alleviate it.

So there you have the seeming paradox. The compassionate wielder of the flogger, the cane and the whip.

Comments?

Lady Sonelle

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RE: Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/1/2005 8:02:26 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle
Tops are motivated by a sense of empathy, compassion, care for the suffering and a desire to make things better. Real pain, pain inflicted on the weak or the unconsenting, angers most (if not all) Tops and motivates them to action to alleviate it.

I think your statement is true of the majority of humans actually, including sadists. I've met VERY few sadists in the scene who were born instantly and had no qualms whatsoever at any point about their sadistic desires and actions.

And in fact your delineation seems to be the difference between sadists and non-sadists, not tops.

I think most people are non-sadists as opposed to sadists is that they don't find pleasure in actually inflicting pain on others, I think it's a very natural primal orientation that some people have and others simply don't. Most tops who call themselves "sadists" really don't want to inflict PAIN on anyone, they want to inflict happy subspace which can be accomplished through pain.

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RE: Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/2/2005 1:22:17 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle
One really strong reason that I am a Dominant (and a liberal) is because I hate cruelty!

Say *what*?!! The Woman who wields a vicious whip, a nasty paddle, who, to quote Tom Lehrer "Can raise welts, like nobody else" hates cruelty? Well, yes. There is a difference, as we all know, between BDSM and real world, actual cruelty, cold indifference to suffering and refusal to aid the weak and endangered among us.
Lady Sonelle

I think I know what you mean... I get a little uncomfortable when people online say I look like I wouldn't have a problem hurting someone. While it is true that I wouldn't have a problem hurting my sub (a little) while punishing (or even playing), cruelty makes me angry, and makes me want to come to the defense of the victim.
I am vehemently anti violence, and do my best to be peacekeeper among friends, family, and while out in social settings. M

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RE: Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/2/2005 9:04:23 AM

happypervert

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quote:

I get a little uncomfortable when people online say I look like I wouldn't have a problem hurting someone.

Don't worry about it -- they probably mean it as a compliment!

edited to replace comment based on a misreading of BTFs post. D'uh!

< Message edited by happypervert -- 8/2/2005 1:49:45 PM >

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RE: Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/2/2005 2:19:35 PM

MstrHellsFury

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so you've met very few born sadists...well I'm waving at ya...I think I was born with a flogger in my hand..lol...now I don't pull the wings off flies but I do so enjoy watching them and all the other little critters hit that bug zapper...call it what you will...there's nothing better in the world..except the sex after...than seeing the expression on the face as I strike...strike....strike......see now just talking about it has me ready to get offline and start a session....just keep this in mind though...my hand doesn't come down if displeasure..it's all in love...the love of what I know is one of my best talents....(very big smile)

Fury

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RE: Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/2/2005 2:42:54 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

so you've met very few born sadists...
Fury

Actually what I said was:

I've met VERY few sadists in the scene who were born instantly and had no qualms whatsoever at any point about their sadistic desires and actions.

I think the entire sentence should be taken as it is, the caveats I included were there for a reason.

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RE: Possibly A New Thought on Why Some PPL are Tops! - 8/10/2005 1:46:38 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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All people, at some point in there lives have the impulse to hurt someone, be it for their pleasure, someone else's, or no reason at all. Controlling this desire is the difference between BDSM and cruelty. Dom/mes that can't control it aren't dom/mes, they're just cruel.

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