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ownedgirlie -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:24:23 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Well this thread made me realize I have no idea what my partners profiles say. I also don't care :)
So what does that say about us?
I don't think leaving out that you are involved in a particular relationship in a profile is NECESSARILY an issue. But it often is.
LOL I quoted this because it made me laugh, and because I really couldn't tell you what my Master's profile says, either - - I don't care.
I do want to add some thoughts to this thread, though, although this may get lengthy:
First, all those things which were important for me to know about him before continuing conversations with him, I asked him about. Well, some of those things he volunteered prior to my asking, but if he didn't, I would have asked. I am of the belief, as several others I know are, that a Master has the right to be in as many relationships as he chooses, whether he involves his slave(s) in them or not. So in my opinion, a Master who does not tell a potential slave about other slaves up front is not necessarily in the wrong, and if a potential slave does not ask about others, she is wrong to assume he has none. In my case, I wanted to know, and I asked, and he told me at the time that he owned one other. She was not in his profile, just as I believe I am not in his profile now - either here or other sites he may frequent. While I was not looking for a poly relationship I didn't care that he owned someone else, and continued following his lead. I didn't see this as being deceptive, because everything I wanted to know was revealed to me, and I was free to make my own decisions based on that.
Second, I'd like to address this notion I often see, where submissives insist on talking to a currently owned slave. As one of those "currently owned slaves" myself, I am not so appreciative of this. I find it can be really disruptive to my world and what I might be focusing on at any given time. He used to not allow this from others because while I accepted him having other girls, I was not emotionally ready to be involved with them. Some girls left because of that, and that was fine with him. It was worth him losing a potential slave than losing me because I was not in a position to be dealing directly with them. Personally, I appreciated not being forced into something I wasn't ready for.
In the last year, I have been introduced to potential slaves for him. I continue to find it disruptive, and while I am not bothered by the girls per se, I do not particularly like the disruptions to my world., but I deal with them. Typically what will happen is a slave will ask him if he owns someone, and he will say yes. Then she will request to talk to me, to ease her concerns that I might be hurt in all this. He allows it. So I am contacted by some girl who I then have to assure (often several times) that I am fine. Then, either one of two things happens - Either she will lean just how close he and I are and will become jealous of it and either not want me around anymore or will want to go off with him seperately and exclude me, or she will befriend me, ask for advice in serving him, and when she realizes just how tough he is, she will run off screaming how mean he is and abandon our newly created friendship, too.
In the latest case, he introduced me to a girl he has already owned for awhile, and I had hoped to become friends with her and serve him together. In our first conversation, she told me how jealous she is of me and how I must be "more owned" than she is, etc. I was suddenly put into a situation where I had to console his other slave. I did not ask for this, and after she started contacting me daily, he told her to stop, thank god.
One girl who ended up in our worlds for oh about a month, wanted us all to have one happy online family profile, which neither he nor I cared about, and became extremely upset when he said no, and then I got a phone call with her crying about it and spent a good while reassuring her that he's not going to change his profile every time he is taking in a new girl....nor am I.
I write all this to try to shine a light on the "other side" of this deception people are talking about. Sometimes the wife or the existing slave just doesn't want to be a part of it all, and sometimes the Master is taking her into consideration by not involving her until it is appropriate. And for those submissives who insist on talking to the current submissive, please be considerate that she is also human and not the in-place counselor to ease your fears and insecurities.
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