RE: I took everyones advise

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TiNeedsHouseboy -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/3/2005 6:43:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Niran quote: Here's my take on it: I don't begrudge people the right to use such practices. Me either. I just reserve the right not to read it. ;) quote: If I do accept someone's submission, then I get to determine the rules, whys and wherefores. I always allow input, but I get to make the final decision. blinks Isn't that the idea? Don't go changing the rules on me now, I just started understanding the game.... [image]local://upfiles/112370/35355B38F79149B195F39439ED5EE0AD.gif[/image]

HiTop -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/3/2005 8:30:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy quote: ORIGINAL: HiTop You could have covered all of those topics w/o the hystrionics of a polysylabbic writing style. I repeat my original question: Did you bother to take the time to read the original thread that spurred this one? If not, you have not done your research. Laziness is not an attribute that benefits either dominants or submissives. Regarding my polysylabbic style, I write the same way I speak. All of my friends, lovers, and acquaintances have similar writing and speaking styles. If you have difficulty with my style, then a dictionary is always useful and educational. Clearly, you didn't bother to check my profile. You'd have noticed that the same style exists there. I don't dumb down my posts. Questions are always welcomed if someone has difficulty with a delineated concept. Had you bothered to research the original thread, you would know that Bob is an astrophysicist. I have no doubt that he can grasp every word I've written. That's part of why it's important that his text reflects his abilities. As I just posted, the devil is in the details if one is to create a "marketable" image that prospective Dommes will find engaging and filled with believable text. The next time I have a social gathering, I'll be sure to not send you an invitation. Wouldn't want you to die of boredom due to inability to grasp our dialogue. Besides, we only allow friends, not interlopers! ~ Ti ~ Boy, I might need a thesaurus AND a dictionary. Maybe I should drag along a laptop and have Encarta at the ready, too. Mean while, I'll bring along darts and throw em at all your balloons while I"m waiting for something interesting in the discussion.

SadisticPrincess -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/3/2005 8:38:16 PM)
Some of us use multisyllabic words because it's how we speak.

Storm69u -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/8/2005 8:59:07 PM)
I have to confess... After reading a few of Ti's replies I would like nothing more than to bend her over and pull a train on her... She seriously needs to lighten up...

onceburned -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/8/2005 10:32:56 PM)
That's a rather odd introduction, but welcome to Collarme. Comments which advance the discussion are always welcome, as are questions. I am sure you will form opinions about many of the people here. But it is really a good idea not to speak negatively of others in a public forum such as this. Avoiding such things will help to keep the peace and promote the discussion.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/9/2005 6:19:32 AM)
Yes, Welcome to collarme Storm69u. I look forward to more of your posts. M

HiTop -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/9/2005 4:38:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Storm69u I have to confess... After reading a few of Ti's replies I would like nothing more than to bend her over and pull a train on her... She seriously needs to lighten up... no suprise here, but I'll buy two tickets for that ride... one for my turn and the other just to hang out and enjoy her subjucation.

TiNeedsHouseboy -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/9/2005 6:38:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onceburned That's a rather odd introduction Is it actually all that odd? It's precisely the sort of prevalent, socially inappropriate, content that was the foundation for Akasha's thread on "Femdoms can't find a decent male partner." Now you have just a teeny, tiny taste of the types of out-of-place e-mail sent to female dominants as alleged "introductions." Then, these guys wonder why women won't befriend, let alone have a D/s relationship, with them. ~ Ti ~

subimale49 -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/9/2005 6:42:07 PM)
I had to read Ti's response to my profile at least 4 times before everything sunk in. In all honesty, when I wrote my Thesis for my Doctorate, I had less comments from the Professor than what Ti gave my profile. I say to each his own. We all have our little quirks and pet peeves. I would guess Ti is a stickler for good grammer and proper punctuation. Nothing wrong with that. That is one of the many things that makes our community so unique. I made corrections to my profile that I thought were for the better and I am happy. I took the picture down for the time being. I plan on having another taken where I look a little more "flattering".

TiNeedsHouseboy -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/10/2005 12:35:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subimale49 I had to read Ti's response to my profile at least 4 times before everything sunk in. In all honesty, when I wrote my Thesis for my Doctorate, I had less comments from the Professor than what Ti gave my profile. I doubt it has sunk in. You're too busy being defensive. I donated a great deal of time to giving you constructive feedback to further your efforts. Rather than be flattered by the attention, rather than consider how my suggestions might facilitate your Domme search, you're busy viewing my ideas as a personal attack. You have much soul searching to do. Oh, as for your Doctoral Thesis, shall we do a headcount on how many indifferent dissertation advisors exist? Perhaps if you had one who gave a hoot, instead of simply collecting a paycheck, you would have been granted thoughtful feedback as part of your learning experience. After all, one doesn't just do a dissertation for the writing exercise. It's supposed to be a higher learning experience. One aspect of the way you're reacting, at least based on my experiences, reflects the critical distinction between people into the LIFE-style, vs. people into the SEX-style (want scenes, not fully realized D/s relationships). People into the SEX-style tell me that I pose questions that no one else has ever asked them, and which they've never before considered. My questions are designed to make people look inside themselves. Some people can't handle that. In fact, I regularly hear remarks like, "If I have to think about issues like that, I'll never be able to get into submissive mode. I don't care about the whys and wherefores." It allows for a great way to weed out "players" from potentially devoted submissives. Generally, I've noticed it's not that they don't care. Something about their libidinal desires is too threatening to their emotional well being to let them get in touch with it. (We're not talking about pathological deviance. It could be something as simple as cross-dressing or guilt over requiring an extramarital BDSM partner.) Meanwhile, these guys can't fathom why they're unable to spark a relationship, launching instead into "woe is me" mode. In short, you're the one who posted not once -- but twice -- in two separate threads -- with the same request to help you. I offered cogent advice that would facilitate your search. It's unfortunate that you find it hostile. Under the circumstances, the next time you come running for advice, I'll leave the answers to indifferent people, like your dissertation advisor. Have a good life, wherever it leads you. ~ Ti ~

subimale49 -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/10/2005 7:59:54 AM)
It seems to me that you are the one on the defensive here. I did not say anything derogatory about you, in fact I did follow some of your advice. My profile states I am not looking for a lifestyle experience, I am looking for a play partner. That is a BIG difference. I think you need to lighten up and grow up, and get off your high horse.

Niran -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/10/2005 8:54:43 AM)
That's ok, Ti. I like your high horse. He's good friends with mine smiles Just know that while your "style" may not be for everyone, I enjoy it. N

HiTop -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/10/2005 9:32:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy quote: ORIGINAL: subimale49 I had to read Ti's response to my profile at least 4 times before everything sunk in. In all honesty, when I wrote my Thesis for my Doctorate, I had less comments from the Professor than what Ti gave my profile. I doubt it has sunk in. You're too busy being defensive. I donated a great deal of time to giving you constructive feedback to further your efforts. Rather than be flattered by the attention, rather than consider how my suggestions might facilitate your Domme search, you're busy viewing my ideas as a personal attack. You have much soul searching to do. Oh, as for your Doctoral Thesis, shall we do a headcount on how many indifferent dissertation advisors exist? Perhaps if you had one who gave a hoot, instead of simply collecting a paycheck, you would have been granted thoughtful feedback as part of your learning experience. After all, one doesn't just do a dissertation for the writing exercise. It's supposed to be a higher learning experience. One aspect of the way you're reacting, at least based on my experiences, reflects the critical distinction between people into the LIFE-style, vs. people into the SEX-style (want scenes, not fully realized D/s relationships). People into the SEX-style tell me that I pose questions that no one else has ever asked them, and which they've never before considered. My questions are designed to make people look inside themselves. Some people can't handle that. In fact, I regularly hear remarks like, "If I have to think about issues like that, I'll never be able to get into submissive mode. I don't care about the whys and wherefores." It allows for a great way to weed out "players" from potentially devoted submissives. Generally, I've noticed it's not that they don't care. Something about their libidinal desires is too threatening to their emotional well being to let them get in touch with it. (We're not talking about pathological deviance. It could be something as simple as cross-dressing or guilt over requiring an extramarital BDSM partner.) Meanwhile, these guys can't fathom why they're unable to spark a relationship, launching instead into "woe is me" mode. In short, you're the one who posted not once -- but twice -- in two separate threads -- with the same request to help you. I offered cogent advice that would facilitate your search. It's unfortunate that you find it hostile. Under the circumstances, the next time you come running for advice, I'll leave the answers to indifferent people, like your dissertation advisor. Have a good life, wherever it leads you. ~ Ti ~ This is an honest remark, Ti.... You may think your remarks are presented in a moderate, matter of fact style but in fact that is not the case. Whether you mean for it to, or not, your words have you looking down your nose at whoever you are critiquing. We've dog piled on you not for your critisisms, but for how you come across. Go work some Sundays at the soup kitchen, help the elderly in a retirement home. Develop some humanity.

indygirl2 -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/11/2005 10:45:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Niran That's ok, Ti. I like your high horse. He's good friends with mine smiles Just know that while your "style" may not be for everyone, I enjoy it. N One more vote. I've often found that people who endlessly gripe about being "talked down to" are listening from the floor anyway.

HiTop -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/13/2005 10:15:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: indygirl2 quote: ORIGINAL: Niran That's ok, Ti. I like your high horse. He's good friends with mine smiles Just know that while your "style" may not be for everyone, I enjoy it. N One more vote. I've often found that people who endlessly gripe about being "talked down to" are listening from the floor anyway. omg! I am wounded to the quick!

saret -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/14/2005 12:14:25 AM)
Your comments are really saddening, hitop. I think the reason Ti comes off as arrogant to you is because she presents her opinions in a very objective, unbiased form. She writes like a techical writer (someone who writes tech manuals): here is the information, all of the information, in a clear to-the-point form. She writes about ideas, opinions, and subjects; rather than writing about her emotions and what she felt about an idea. She talks about what happened (just the facts, m'am), not always how she felt about what happened. She takes herself out of much of her writing, and that can make her come across as cold. Especially in emotional issues like sex and relationships (which is what these forums are all about). Most of the time when people talk about their emotional situations, they only want sympathy - someone to listen. When someone tries to help them through constructive criticism or analysis, (saying, "Why did that happen?" instead of "That's too bad!"), the person takes it as an attack. Because then you are no longer just commiserating, you are suddenly put on the spot and forced to apply logic and reasoning to your emotions. This is very difficult for everyone, from the scientist to the field worker. Would you rather have someone tell you your car is broken, just because? Or would you rather have someone tell you your car is broken because this piece is not working, or that part needs to be replaced? Giving you the breakdown is what she is doing with thoughts and feelings. She's just not adding "I think that ..." or "In my opinion ..." to the start of every single sentence, and for some strange reason you're offended by that. Aha! Paradigm comparison - Common situation (I'm just using a vanilla relationship, for comparison): A woman comes home and is upset over some X random thing. Her boyfriend listens to her, and tells her what to do about X random thing. Girl is upset that boy did not just listen to her. Boy is baffled about why girl is upset at boy, because he thought he was helping by giving advice. Girl runs into X random thing again 2 weeks later, remembers boy's advice, deals with X random thing, and it does not upset her this time. Girl thanks boy for advice. This is the same exact situation, roles reversed. He asked for advice, remember? -S- PS. I've found almost every one of Ti's posts to be extremely insightful and informative, and I've learned a lot just by reading some of her posts. She has the same problem I do, when writing - I can't say anything in under 50 words, and would rather be as specific and precise as possible when using language. Hence the pollysyllabilism. If you don't like it, don't read it. No one is holding a whip and a dictionary over your computer screen.

Sabella -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/14/2005 5:23:54 AM)
I also have enjoyed Ti's posts. She's articulate, thoughtful and obviously spends alot of time considering not only what information she is writing, but also very generous with extra information to ensure that the recipient has the best opportunity to fully understand exactly what she is saying. This is a gift. Say THANK YOU! LOL Do keep in mind that the written word DOES have it's flaws - nuances of humor and lightness don't come across well at all unless you scatter in the obligatory LOL or smile to emphasize it. (see above ;) ) Think of a common conversation where someone might say "what the hell were you thinking you knucklehead?" as it is it could be insulting. In person if the speaker changes inflection, laughs and give you a fond poke in the ribs then you know they are laughing with you.

tarnishedhalo777 -> RE: I took everyones advise (8/14/2005 7:21:40 AM)
quote: BTW, don't for one second try to rationalize that you're not "cheating" simply because you don't have intercourse with a Domme. You're handing over control of the secret/dark/taboo side of your libido. It doesn't get more intimate than that! That is it in a nutshell.OMG,thank you!! This is what the problem is. You are such a wise Lady

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