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How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 11:58:15 AM   
TPE4life


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		In this modern internet and You Tube world; where everybody can have an opinion and does have an opinion; I find there are too many opinions available. Sometimes the opinions are not even relevant.
  I am new to the BDSM world, and I think of myself as a student, and I am constantly trying to learn.
  I really enjoy this forum; it has helped me learn more in a short period of time, then I would have otherwise.
  But what I find difficult is when you have a question and someone misinterprets the questions and sends the topic on a tangent.
  What’s worse is when some others continue the tangent, then leaving the original question un-answered.
  I would like to think of myself as being articulate, but again, I see my self as a student, I know there is always more that could be learned.
  Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you cope with it?

< Message edited by TPE4life -- 10/27/2007 12:00:24 PM >
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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:00:52 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

how do you cope with it?

As my Master would call them...."happy puffs"......and welcome to the jungle....


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(in reply to TPE4life)
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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:01:32 PM   
TPE4life


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		thank you, you made me smile

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:01:54 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Same way I do in real life. Ask politely to remain on topic. Perhaps nudge things, by refering back to a an interesting point.

Don't sweat it if people find something else more interesting. I don't really think I own a thread even if I make it. I don't think that I own a conversation even if I start it in person instead of on the web.

(in reply to TPE4life)
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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:04:27 PM   
TPE4life


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		indeed a good perspective, i will endeavor to adopt this mindset,

thank you

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:10:24 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TPE4life

In this modern internet and You Tube world; where everybody can have an opinion and does have an opinion; I find there are too many opinions available. Sometimes the opinions are not even relevant.
I am new to the BDSM world, and I think of myself as a student, and I am constantly trying to learn.
I really enjoy this forum; it has helped me learn more in a short period of time, then I would have otherwise.
But what I find difficult is when you have a question and someone misinterprets the questions and sends the topic on a tangent.
What’s worse is when some others continue the tangent, then leaving the original question un-answered.
I would like to think of myself as being articulate, but again, I see my self as a student, I know there is always more that could be learned.
Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you cope with it?


When talking to someone face to face, often something in our conversation will spark a tangent or a recollection or send our conversation into a whole different direction. Unless the original topic is something that needs to be resolved or discussed and wasn't in my mind then I simply let conversations develope as they may. I pretty much look at the forms the same way.
 
Blessed Be,
Nika

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"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:14:21 PM   
TPE4life


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		i never thought of it that way...thank you

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:24:59 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		Your welcome
 
Nika

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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:28:45 PM   
Goddess20


Posts: 73
Joined: 7/12/2007
From: Birmingham, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TPE4life

In this modern internet and You Tube world; where everybody can have an opinion and does have an opinion; I find there are too many opinions available. Sometimes the opinions are not even relevant.


The thing about BDSM is everyone has their own opinions on their own situations, so yes there are many, MANY opinions out there and it can be hard to interpert them all.

As you said you are still learning (arn't we all) so in time you will develop your own opinion and get a better understanding. Hang on in there and you'll soon be more confident and can add your opinion to the mix as well.

(in reply to TPE4life)
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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 12:37:04 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		[/quote]

The thing about BDSM is everyone has their own opinions on their own situations, so yes there are many, MANY opinions out there and it can be hard to interpert them all.

As you said you are still learning (arn't we all) so in time you will develop your own opinion and get a better understanding. Hang on in there and you'll soon be more confident and can add your opinion to the mix as well.
[/quote]

I would venture to say this is true with any subject not just BDSM.
 
Blessed Be,
Nika

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 1:43:59 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TPE4life

Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you cope with it?


I regard these forums much as a conversation in real life. If the people engaged are not interested in a topic, it will either die or shift to something else. This happens on the forums as well. If the topic is strong enough, the discussion will shift back to first topic. Otherwise, I suggest simply letting the thread die and trying again. The wording of the question could have been unclear, the subject too broad or not specific enough to garner the desired responses.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 2:36:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's simply one of the ways in which the universe manifests to you that you are not in control, nor will you ever be in control of what happens around you.  Stop trying to control it, stop reacting to the truth of it and simply let it flow around you.  Take what works for you and leave the rest.

Or else you end up a crotchety old person no one wants to be around.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 4:10:40 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Don't worry about the opinions that go off on a tangent.   There will ALWAYS be smart asses, jokers (who think they are funny), nay sayers, and jerks.  Take what you need and keep moving.

(in reply to TPE4life)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 4:15:03 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Ive noticed it too and i have also been guilty of missing the point or picking up on a small detail that im interested in. I just think that if a post leads to lots of comments that can only be a good way of getting more opinions and ideas on a wider range of things that you may not have asked yourself

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(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 5:11:27 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Personally, I like the variety.  But when you are new trying to honestly learn about this lifestyle you just want some straight answers, not the jokes, or jabs.

< Message edited by MsPleasure -- 10/27/2007 5:13:23 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 6:09:58 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

Don't worry about the opinions that go off on a tangent.   There will ALWAYS be smart asses, jokers (who think they are funny), nay sayers, and jerks.  Take what you need and keep moving.


I often find that I respect the opinions expressed by the smart asses, the joker,  and nay sayers. The jerks .. often those who take themselves too seriously.

You will find a lot of opinions. Free advice is usually worth what it costs. When you take it too seriously, you'll most likely miss the point. Get into the spirit of a good discussion and glean from those who impress you when they write and respond to how others pick apart what they write. When someone becomes too serious or self righteous, they usually will not entertain any opinion but theirs. I find it humorous that so many in this kinky lifestyle are actually very narrow minded.

Relax, pick the gems from those you are impressed with (over time). Look inside yourself. Most of the answers will be there anyway.



_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

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RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 6:31:05 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		No one can accuse me of seriousness, but a lot of the time, the advice is only half-joking. Consider that as well.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/27/2007 7:19:22 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It's simply a common forum phenomena and, like so many other things, you're just gonna have to ignore what doesn't suit you. Once you get the hang of it, it's fairly easy.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to TPE4life)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/28/2007 12:58:42 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I have been a moderator at a smaller forum with 40,000 members (mmoglider.com).  I found that when things get off topic, you need to point it out and politely ask people to start new threads for new topics. 

You may have to police your own threads to keep them on track and out of the "flames". 

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do you cope with.... - 10/28/2007 7:22:06 PM   
TPE4life


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		Thank You all.
Yes at i times i know i take myself too seriously. I dont mean too.
I do like to hear oppinions that can be called "solid information", the distractors, can cause some annoyace.

Thank You all, once again.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 20
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