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First time meeting - 10/27/2007 4:02:46 PM

badazzfireman57

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/11/2007
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Good evening E/everyone, hope all is well. i know i haven't posted much here, and my apologies, but i need some advice. If everything works out like it is supposed to tomorrow, i will be meeting a Domme from this site tomorrow for our first meeting.

W/we don't have any play planned yet, as this is O/our first time meeting in person. i have read a great deal from this site, and read a good many articles on the Frugal Domme site, but still have a question......

When i meet Her tomorrow, what is the appropriate way to greet her? I know how She likes to be addressed. But should i kiss her hand, take flowers, etc ?

i know these may seem like simple minded questions, but i am new to the lifestyle, and i don't want to go down in flames.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and i look foward to Y/your responses !!

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 5:26:27 PM

Decimus

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Joined: 9/17/2007
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In all honesty unless she has asked for something specific tribute etc? I'd just do what you do in a normal dating experience on a first meeting, bring her flowers and be polite oh and here's another thing offer to pay!

< Message edited by Decimus -- 10/27/2007 5:27:40 PM >

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 5:35:55 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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ACK! I hate first meets for just this reason. I never know if I should hug, shake hands or just wave awkwardly. Bleh!

Sorry I have no advice. Just the words "first meet" give me a stomach ache.

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 6:02:00 PM

RosesHaveThorns

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Is she a traditional sort of gal, or more relaxed? Informal? Formal? Has she expressed anything to hint at a gift?

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 6:12:15 PM

aidan

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Joined: 5/28/2005
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General rules I follow: don't assume anything. Be polite and respectful and sociable when you meet her, don't overdo it with a lot of protocol and shows of "chivalry". Unless she's stipulated it specifically before meeting, you'll either make her feel a lot more comfortable about spending time with you (as there's no pressure for her to live up to some role or expectation), or she'll offer a slight correction to action or demeanor (most Dommes I know realize that erring is human and won't admonish you if you're at least respectful on introduction). Also, I like to bring a small gift, something personal like a snack she might have mentioned enjoying or something similar. It's a nice gesture, and shows that you pay attention.

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 6:50:23 PM

bipolarber

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Joined: 9/25/2004
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I had my first meeting with my current Domme just a couple of months ago, and that actually worked out quite well... No, I didn't bring her any kind of present, although I tried to make myself as presentable as possible. (Don't overdo it on the cologne or aftershave!) We met at a tattoo studio, and I did my best to keep her distracted while hot electric bees danced on her back. After that, we grabbed a bite to eat, and... well, it gets a little personal after that.

If you really think bringing her a gift is needed, do something simple: maybe burn a disc of some of your favorite romantic tunes? Maybe a copy of your favorite poems? I guess try giving her something that isn't a high monatary value, (you don't want to make her feel like you are paying her) but rather, something that you want to share with her, that you enjoy. It'll give her a little insight to your personality.

Also, I hope you are meeting somewhere that allows for private talk, but is definitely public. My personal favorite is out of the way, family owned resturants. Or coffee house/used bookshops.

It's okay if you're a bit nervous. If she's Domme, she'll probably enjoy putting you at ease, and taking control of the conversation. Once you get past the introductions, just follow her lead.

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 7:41:31 PM

badazzfireman57

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Joined: 10/11/2007
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Thanks for all of the advice E/everyone !! We are going to meet at Olive Garden tomorrow for lunch, and to discuss things. Of course, i will be paying, lol. I hadn't planned a tribute or anything, because we are meeting to see if we "click", because both of U/us are looking for a serious thing, and not just "fuck buddies" so to speak.

I will let everyone know how things go!!

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RE: First time meeting - 10/27/2007 8:56:43 PM

iammachine

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Joined: 1/25/2006
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I agree with acting as normally as possible. Be polite and follow her lead. If she moves to hug you, then give her a hug, if she offers her hand, a hand shake is good. A kiss on the hand can be really sweet or kinda creepy depending on how it's executed.

I, personally, would probably nix the idea of flowers, but I'm not a flower kind of girl. A small box of chocolates on the other hand.... you can't go wrong there, in my book.

Good luck!

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RE: First time meeting - 10/28/2007 6:18:45 AM

rubberpet

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The first meeting can always be awkward, but it doesn't have to be. The first thing I would recommend is have confidence in yourself. Be confident, not cocky or arrogant. I have yet to run into a lady (Domme or sub) that doesn't like a confident man. Besides, you made a good enough impression for her to agree to meet you. That's your "in". Just be yourself. Always remember, chivalry is not dead...pull out her chair, listen intently to what she says, stand when she leaves the table and returns, let her order first. Make her feel like a lady, you can't go wrong with that.

Find out from her specifically what she is expecting. Since you're meeting at the Olive Garden, it will probably be casual, not completely formal. I like the chocolates for an initial token. Read her body language. If she offers her had with the top of it up, chances are she wants you to kiss her hand (lightly, my friend

). If she extends it sideways, chances are she wants a handshake. Just let things flow naturally. Don't look at it as she is critiquing you every step of the way or it's an "interview". You are two people with common interests who have bonded as friends. Look at it any way you can to remove unnecessary pressure. It's the first meeting with your new, potential domme, but she is human just like you.

In closing, just have fun. Enjoy your time with her. Whatever you did to make her meet with you, just keep doing it. It seems to be working.

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RE: First time meeting - 10/28/2007 11:40:52 PM

MisPandora

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From: Philadelphia, PA
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Treat her like a human being, not as a life support system for a whip.

Follow her instructions to the letter. If you don't understand something, or you need more clarification, ask HER. On a first meeting, I dislike guys who take matters into their own hands and devise other plans of action other than the one that I laid out (and I am painfully clear in setting expectations.)

Be a gentleman. Unless she says otherwise, open doors, pull her chair out, take her coat, ask to be excused from the table if you must use the rest room, and allow her to take the lead with the server.

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