RE: Alone in my way of thinking?

RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (Full Version)

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adoracat -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 5:48:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen I think that there should be a clear understanding up front. For instance, I had a 24/7 slave who encouraged me to have other subs. He wanted no other mistress, and if I was to allow another woman to "play" with him there were certain rules. The main one was that I must be present and could give directions at any point. The other was that she could demand any sexual favor other than kissing on the lips. The third, maybe obvious for safety, was that he must wear a condom. He knew that I was the only one that I wanted sexual gratification from and that my other subs were to be toys only. We talked it all out very carefully. I think that the communication is the most important part. If he would have wanted other mistresses we simply would have set some limits, but I knew that I was the only one that he could create that deep bond with. That's what he needed, the complete belonging to one person. Very sadly, I found out yesterday that my slave died in Iraq. I will miss the incredibly close bond that we had. i am terribly sorry for your loss.... kitten

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 6:50:03 PM)
To Owned- I got asked this weekend again about how my partner and I set up our relationship as poly. I said again that we can "do whatever we want, with whoever we want, whenever we want" and was asked "But you'd want to know about it, right?" My response was that if he met someone at the grocery store in the afternoon, I'd appreciate ap hone call letting me know he wasn't going to be home for dinner, but otherwise, didn't really care. Which isn't fully true, I care and I'd beg for all the juicy details to get a vicarious thrill on later. But when it comes to needing to be in the know- nope, not really at all an issue for me.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 6:54:29 PM)
Hey LA, yeah, I like to know the juicy details for thrill factor too, but I don't always get them :) But need to know and want to know are totally seperate issues. The funny thing is, as soon as I stopped pressing to know - as soon as it wasn't so important to me - he started sharing more...because I had let go of my desire to control the knowledge.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 6:56:39 PM)
I do not agree with on this. I have seen this type of concept before. It is kinda like go ahead hurt me i do not care setting standards for your self is what makes things rock. In a great way. Do not get to be number one by settling for number two. some people go it is ok just let people do bad things no no no no. If you hurt anyone mentally or physically abuse wise or cheating wise. It is wrong. none commit relationships have no foundational stance but that of quick sand slow death of the relationship. It will always turn sour some how.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 6:58:36 PM)
I'm ok with you disagreeing with it for your life. But I don't think you are suggesting I go up to my partner and tell him that how we've been living our lives together for over two years now and living together just isn't going to work because this internet dude told me he disagrees with it?

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 6:59:51 PM)
um come back in seven years and tell me what you think of my post

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 7:07:08 PM)
LOL would you say that to my ex master and his wife who have been living such a life for decades together?

slaveluci -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 7:13:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 I do not agree with on this. I have seen this type of concept before. It is kinda like go ahead hurt me i do not care setting standards for your self is what makes things rock. In a great way. Do not get to be number one by settling for number two. some people go it is ok just let people do bad things no no no no. If you hurt anyone mentally or physically abuse wise or cheating wise. It is wrong. none commit relationships have no foundational stance but that of quick sand slow death of the relationship. It will always turn sour some how. Here's a concept that it might be really hard for you to grasp but give it a try, willya? Being "hurt", "settling," doing "bad" things and many other terms mean different things for different people. I agree 110% with OwnedGirlie and LA. That works for me. I don't find it "hurtful" or destructive to be in a relationship like I am and that others would not choose. The idea of my Master with other women is so hot you can't even believe[;)]. It in no way "hurts" me. I don't care if you can wrap your closed mind around that concept or not. It means less than nothing to me 'cuz your opinions sure aren't going to change what goes on in my life. But, you would save a lot of time and trouble for yourself if you could at least attempt to realize that just because you can't understand or accept something, that doesn't mean everyone else on the planet is incapable of enjoying it.......luci

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 10:34:20 PM)
well i have to wonder if it was positive why is he an ex lol oh well as for the next post. LIfe just will tell you what is right or wrong

susie -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/28/2007 11:42:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 I do not agree with on this. I have seen this type of concept before. It is kinda like go ahead hurt me i do not care setting standards for your self is what makes things rock. In a great way. Do not get to be number one by settling for number two. some people go it is ok just let people do bad things no no no no. If you hurt anyone mentally or physically abuse wise or cheating wise. It is wrong. none commit relationships have no foundational stance but that of quick sand slow death of the relationship. It will always turn sour some how. You still do not get it. NOBODY is getting hurt. Who do you think is hurt in a relationship where all 3 people agree to what is happening. I am not settling for anything and I am certainly number one as far as my Master is concerned. So who is settling? NOBODY is cheating. There are no lies. We are in a committed relationship where both of us are happy so why should it turn sour? Certainly not because he is doing something that we both agree is acceptable in OUR relationship. I get that you don't like it for you. That is your choice. Just because you do not approve does not make it wrong. Personally I think men look ridiculous in latex, are you going to stop wearing it because I think it is wrong?

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 1:28:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: susie I am in a relationship where it was clear from the start that my Master would be allowed to play and have sex with others. I, however, am totally monogamous. The rules of him seeing others was set at the start, one off meetings, no relationship etc. To start with it was hard because it was something I had been brought up to think was wrong. What he has always said and made me understand and feel is that I would always feel totally secure in our relationship. And I do. I understand that he gets something from these other people he can't from me (not prepared to go into detail) but I feel secure and loved by him so I know I have nothing to worry about. Is this the same guy that was unemployed when you met him and you put up all the money for him to start his own business? He's been going out and screwing other women since the beginning of your relationship and you're not allowed the same sexual freedom? What an interesting way for him to express his gratitude. Sounds like you got yourself a real winner. And you think I have problems?

mons -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 2:19:19 AM)
greetings i do not see the need for someone to seek out another when they have someone. they are just to many STD''S for me i am a one woman domme i am secure in myself that i do not need to test the waters somewhere else. why do people need to have several partners , is it just the sex part the need to been waned by several men or woman i just do not see it , but it is still cheating if that is the question here. to have a low seft esteem and not comfortable in one own skin is sad mons

Squeakers -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 4:24:25 AM)
Mons, again why all the focus on STD's? What if it is simply play? Not EVERYONE has intercourse after a whipping. Protection is for many a must. I believe that in the realm of SSC that a condom goes along with the Safe part.

batshalom -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 5:15:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: susie I am in a relationship where it was clear from the start that my Master would be allowed to play and have sex with others. I, however, am totally monogamous. The rules of him seeing others was set at the start, one off meetings, no relationship etc. To start with it was hard because it was something I had been brought up to think was wrong. What he has always said and made me understand and feel is that I would always feel totally secure in our relationship. And I do. I understand that he gets something from these other people he can't from me (not prepared to go into detail) but I feel secure and loved by him so I know I have nothing to worry about. Is this the same guy that was unemployed when you met him and you put up all the money for him to start his own business? He's been going out and screwing other women since the beginning of your relationship and you're not allowed the same sexual freedom? What an interesting way for him to express his gratitude. Sounds like you got yourself a real winner. And you think I have problems? My God, dbg. Who are you to say this? It works for her. It was agreed to and she's fine with it. It's not my cup of tea, obviously not your cup of tea, but if you're going to be spitting such venom how about doing it in a clean catch beaker so we can sell it as a snakebite remedy.

laurell3 -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 5:47:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adoracat quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen I think that there should be a clear understanding up front. For instance, I had a 24/7 slave who encouraged me to have other subs. He wanted no other mistress, and if I was to allow another woman to "play" with him there were certain rules. The main one was that I must be present and could give directions at any point. The other was that she could demand any sexual favor other than kissing on the lips. The third, maybe obvious for safety, was that he must wear a condom. He knew that I was the only one that I wanted sexual gratification from and that my other subs were to be toys only. We talked it all out very carefully. I think that the communication is the most important part. If he would have wanted other mistresses we simply would have set some limits, but I knew that I was the only one that he could create that deep bond with. That's what he needed, the complete belonging to one person. Very sadly, I found out yesterday that my slave died in Iraq. I will miss the incredibly close bond that we had. i am terribly sorry for your loss.... kitten My sincerest sympathies on your loss as well. l

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 6:14:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom My God, dbg. Who are you to say this? It works for her. It was agreed to and she's fine with it. It's not my cup of tea, obviously not your cup of tea, but if you're going to be spitting such venom how about doing it in a clean catch beaker so we can sell it as a snakebite remedy. Who am I to say this? I'm the one susie constantly says has serious problems and should seek professional help because I refuse to date professional freeloading bums. She spits venom at me far worse than this anytime she gets the chance.

BeingChewsie -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 6:43:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 um come back in seven years and tell me what you think of my post Hmmmm I'm closing in on a decade in R's household. He has always gone out with other women, as long as there is breath in his body and when he gets older if the nurses in the nursing home will grind viagra up in his apple sauce..he still will be..and its all good. What utter nonsense that it will turn sour..LOL...if you only knew..if this is sour may it stay this sour until my eyes roll back in head and I take my very last breath.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 7:44:25 AM)
There are always going to be exceptions to a rule. Dose not make it the right. Even in dysfunctional house holds can make things work. But the damage that can be done can have long term bad effects. Everything comes full circle. So if you want to run the banana boat of stupidity go ahead I am not going to stop you. Make the most of it. A decade is not a long time. try people that have been together 40 years. I am sure they do not think those things are cool.. Oh yes cheating is cool yadda yadda rofl kiss my ass. Your no different then every other self righteous opinionated self serving liberal that is out there. Oh well life is a discovery process welcome to animal planet lol

BeingChewsie -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 8:07:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 There are always going to be exceptions to a rule. Dose not make it the right. Even in dysfunctional house holds can make things work. But the damage that can be done can have long term bad effects. Everything comes full circle. So if you want to run the banana boat of stupidity go ahead I am not going to stop you. Make the most of it. A decade is not a long time. try people that have been together 40 years. I am sure they do not think those things are cool.. Oh yes cheating is cool yadda yadda rofl kiss my ass. Your no different then every other self righteous opinionated self serving liberal that is out there. Oh well life is a discovery process welcome to animal planet lol He isn't cheating since I know about it. I don't think cheating is cool, when you are cheating on a spouse/sig other that means they don't know about it, well I know he is with other women, so no cheating. You have yet to answer the question..What damage? Damage to who? Certainly not to me and not him...I guess he could keel over and die from a massive MI from too much fucking..but what a way to go!

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? (10/29/2007 8:25:17 AM)
sometimes it is not always right in front of you. People want a to the point answer. Most of the time people are not always honest about how they feel. SOmetimes they cover it up just to be with someone. I have seen this all to often in relationships. Sure I will till you it is ok cause i love you. called it the hurt behind the smile. look for past to dictate the future. that is where the truth of a person is

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