RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 1:48:45 PM

CuriousLord

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BDSM is, as far as I can tell, a combination of two spectrums and their resulting dynamics. These spectrums are the sadomasochistic (pain sluts to sadists) and D/s (TPE slaves up to TPE Masters). Most of the umbrella lifestyles tend to deal with at least one of these two spectrums far more than how we often perceive normal, "vanilla" life.

Using the catigories you specified in the OP, I might fall under a combination of "M/s" and "Taken In Hand". My relationships are romantically inclined with a virtually absolute TPE M/s dynamic mixed with something of a mentorship. My interest in sadomasochism is slight enough to qualify as vanilla. (It hardly goes beyond rough sex. Vanilla people would likely call me kinky, but kinky people would probably call me vanilla.) So, whether or not one qualifies me as being in BDSM, I'm here because I can at least relate to the unusual D/s dynamics I see in others, regardless of my lack of common ground with sadists and masochists in that respect.

Bottom line being, relationship dynamics which involve Dominance/submission or/and sadomasocism are roughly grouped under "BDSM" for the purposes of this site.

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 1:54:39 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Howabout people that do not have a power structure in their relationship and just like to beat people or be beaten? You know... us S&M folks... what part of the "umbrella" do we fall under?

It does not matter to me if I am under the "umbrella" or not mind you, I find the whole entire "umbrella" concept kinda laughable... and laughter is good for the soul.

And if the umbrella shades you from the storm... more power to you.

Why...why...why....you're just crazy of course!!!

I only use umbrellas when it's raining...and even then, sometimes not :)

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 2:22:56 PM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyskittin

D/s- Power Exchange in which both give, and recieve control over each other to varying degrees.

I'm completely unfamiliar with this concept. Would you mind elaborating?

John

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 3:05:28 PM

Daddyskittin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyskittin

D/s- Power Exchange in which both give, and recieve control over each other to varying degrees.

I'm completely unfamiliar with this concept. Would you mind elaborating?

John

Sure I can... but I cannot guarantee it will make it any clearer for you... my Daddy and I have really yet to come across anyone who we feel really understands our relationship...but none the less here we go...

We are equals in each others eyes, and have an equal amount of control in our relationship... I am submissive to him... but he does not take the "My way or the highway" attitude because he is the dominant... sometimes his way is the best way... sometimes my way is the best way... it boils down to whats best for the both of us not what one person wants versus what the other wants...Sometimes he does things just to make me happy... sometimes I do things just to make him happy...Over the years he has taught me many things about myself... and has altered my life in positive ways... And I have taught him things about himself... and altered his life for the positive.

Again we understand that most people have a hard time wrapping their brains around understanding a D/s relationship like ours... and we've often had people cry nilla at us which we find utterly amusing... We very much feel that if you understand you understand... if you don't... theres nothing we can do about it short of changing our relationship which just isn't going to happen.

If it makes more sense to you now then it does... if it doesn't we've both felt that it just might all come down to having to actually experience a relationship like ours to know it.

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 3:54:19 PM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyskittin

If it makes more sense to you now then it does... if it doesn't we've both felt that it just might all come down to having to actually experience a relationship like ours to know it.

I can appreciate that as a definition of your unique relationship, but you provided it as a definition of D/s. Which is quite a bit more than your unique relationship. Is it possible that what you provided as a definition for all D/s relationships is more specific to your own?

John

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 4:15:53 PM

Daddyskittin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyskittin

If it makes more sense to you now then it does... if it doesn't we've both felt that it just might all come down to having to actually experience a relationship like ours to know it.

I can appreciate that as a definition of your unique relationship, but you provided it as a definition of D/s. Which is quite a bit more than your unique relationship. Is it possible that what you provided as a definition for all D/s relationships is more specific to your own?

John

Well of course I defined it to my own... every relationship is unique... there is no one right or wrong definition to any of the terms ... of course I could have gone and googled D/s and given somone elses very standardized well known definition... and I'm sure everyone who read it would have been very comfortable and unmoved by it... but I didn't because that's not who I am... I gave my own personal definition of it because one of my biggest joys in this lifestyle has always been... showing people... theres always something new... or another way.

I'm sure many people who've read and posted on this thread read my definition and dismissed it for a variety of reasons... I'm sure some of them read it and mulled it around in their brains for a bit... but you read it... mulled it around... and it affected you in such a way that you desired to know more.

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 5:09:46 PM

wisteriaV

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BDSM is the play aspects.: Bondage Discipline, Sadism Masochism. Thats what I was told over 12 years ago. I dont know when the D/s aspect was incorporated into it , but you dont need to be D/s M/s gor or what have you to get tied up and inflict or recieve pain ect...so therefore BDSM is inclusive lifestyle just the kinks.

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RE: BDSM umbrella... or NOT - 10/28/2007 7:10:58 PM

CuriousLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV

BDSM is the play aspects.: Bondage Discipline, Sadism Masochism. Thats what I was told over 12 years ago. I dont know when the D/s aspect was incorporated into it , but you dont need to be D/s M/s gor or what have you to get tied up and inflict or recieve pain ect...so therefore BDSM is inclusive lifestyle just the kinks.

The first time I saw it, BDSM was split up: BD, DS, SM.
BD: Bondage & Discipline
DS: Dominance & Submission
SM: Sadism & Masochism

So the DS in the center both overlap; the BDSM acronym is sort of a chain in this way. ("BDSM" instead of "BDDSSM".)

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