batshalom -> RE: Eeeet's ALIVE and in my house! (10/28/2007 3:54:15 PM)
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If you smell an aroma like dog poo, and if you look around and can't find it, then your problem is an oppossum. I found one in my house a couple weeks ago. A live one. I knew it was alive because it was running through the house and avoiding me. I opened the front door to let it out but my two dogs - a border collie and jack russell / boxer mix - tried to escape. The border collie is about a thousand years old, and kinda lame in one leg but the jack boxer is very excitable, supple, and fast. This was a problem. So there I was, blocking the door with my body, trying to scoop the possum out without getting bit and having to keep these dogs from terrorizing the neighborhood after dark. Well. The possum doesn't go out, has no inclination of doing such a thing, but three of my cats come in. One of them sees the possum and jumps straight in the air, lands on the couch and pees on it. Her eyes were open wide enough for me to worry about having to take her to the vet to pop them back in. The other two cats think it might be a good idea to greet our new guest. They walk to it, and bump against it. The possum hisses at them and falls over "dead". I am still blocking the door, flabbergasted. The dogs are still trying to get out. I have my daughter's bookbag in my left hand, trying to scooch the thing out of my house, and now I smell cat pee on the couch. I have choices to make. I slam the door. The possum shudders. The cats run. The dogs get under my feet and I step all over them trying to figure out what to do. The dogs are yapping and squealing because they are excited, and quite frankly, because I am much bigger than they are and I am waltzing all over their feet. The possum gets up on its stubby little legs and it starts to run again. In all my intelligence - because, you know, I am so f'n smart - I grab its tail so that it can't get under the pee couch or one of the chairs to avoid me. I'd rather not fish under the furniture to try to grab something that could bite my arm off. So, ok. Grabbing its tail wasn't exactly smart. It gave the dogs the opportunity to catch up to it. One of my dogs sort of rolls the thing around in his mouth and gets it all gooey. The possum, reaching the end of its rope (meaning that it reaches the end of the length of its tail that I have firmly in my grip) turns around and hisses at me and falls over "dead" again. The pee cat comes over to join the fray, sniffs the possum, and starts scratching the floor around it. I assume this is because it smells like poo. Fortunately for me, my children do not listen to me when I lecture them about leaving their towels laying around. Right there, one giant step away, is an old towel. I lunge for it and scoop up the possum and get it out the door before the dogs can escape and before it has the presence of mind to chew my arm off. So, Camille, this is what was moving my animal food around. Keep an old towel handy.
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