SteelofUtah
Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
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I am sure this one has been done but perhaps I will place a new twist on it.
The Ever Encumbering Ego.
Okay lets start with Me! One of my favborite subjects but not from Ego from Humility. You see I was a 16 year old Super Dom. By the time I was 19 I had read everything and learned about everything and had all these witty come backs and knew exactly nothing.
I was the worst kind of Ego riddled Dom, you see I was the kind that thought knowing about stuff meant I KNEW the Stuff.
You will be glad to know that that died when I was 20 and I was put in my place by someone I never would have thought I respected as much as I did, My friends wife who was never in the lifestyle but understood it better than I think I ever will.
You see it was her who taught me that I should understand why someone does what they do rather than why they don't do it another way.
With our daily chats I began to understand how misguided I was, and even more about what is right for me is not right for everyone else. I would love to share much of the insite that this woman gave me but that is not what this thread is about. It's about Ego.
Rewind about 8 years to when I had my first official Lifestyle relationship. I HONESTLY believed that even though My Pedant said it wasn't about sex that, that was all it was about. That the Purpose of BDSM was to get women to do the kinkiest shit you could think up and then treat them like a sexual object in front of all the people you wanted to think you were cool.
What do you want I was 17 and ruled by my penis.
Now I had MANY short lived sexual encounters around this time, because wouldn't you know, even if the 30 to 40 something slaves that mingled at our munches didn't want to surrender to a 17 year old Megalomaniac the sure wanted his sexual stamina and they were not shy in asking for it either.
These sexual encounters made me think that I was just Too Strict for them and that I was in need of a REAL SLAVE not these wanna be cock mongers. This is what brought me to Gor. After a Year of Chest Thumping I decided that I needed a reality check.
I stopped going to Munches, I closed my mIRC Chat rooms and sold My Vandant Forum (I was Popular then) I sat down and re-read everything I said I had read before but really just looked for things I could use to prove that the way I felt was validated by someone else. and then I came back.
So did the Ego, only now it was a different kind of Ego. The one before said that I knew everything there was to know and I was right. This new one said I don't know everything but that doesn't mean you're right so fuck off. I completely closed my ears to everything anyone said that didn't agree with my way of life and told them that that was a nice philosophy but flawed because I didn't agree with it.
Today I know that when it comes to this lifestyle I know what I like and what I don't. I know what I am willing to do and what I am not. I know that there are things I need to learn more about and things that I need to set aside for awhile and see what it means to me after I can clear away all that I have learned about it.
Now this is the kind of Ego I expressed, however there are other Ego's that ring just as annoying and these are ones that get my Goat.
The Sage.
You know the guy that has (Or says he has) lots of experience in Nearly every aspect of BDSM and has a suggestion on a "Better" way to look at it. This is a Person who has taken it upon Himself to teach the world a shorter path from confusion to bliss. This is a calm cool collected bloak who knows all the ropes and is all to quick to show you the ropes as long as you never question his methods for as soon as you do he will scrutinize you with his experience and question what you know with where you have been.
The Believer.
Same as the sage only they constantly use the term "I believe that" so that any questioning of thier positions on things is led again and again to well this is what I believe and comes from the experience I have gathered.
The Minimalizer.
Of all the Egotistical individuals I have ever met this is the one that gets my goat the most. This is the individual who no matter what you have gone through they have gone throught it twice as long and twice as hard and so you don't know what you are talking about because you have yet to have gone throught it like this or like that. This is the person who tells the younger person that they are just a "Baby" and that they will see things differently when they "get there" as if to say that it doesn't matter how one feels because untill the feel like they do then you still have more to learn.
Let me tell you something if every Minimalizer I ever met stood before me today I would say you were right that one day I would change my mind but I still don't agree with you I now feel this way, every last one of them would say that's okay you're still young, that will pass, and you'll come around soon enough.
You see where this may be possibly true it is total ego to think that your way of thinking is the only route to be taken.
So what is your main issue with Ego?
All rants are welcome.
As Always
Steel
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