RE: any such thing as a kind dom?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: any such thing as a kind dom?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: any such thing as a kind dom?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/23/2005 8:46:00 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Yes, a kind Dom is to be respected.

There is a difference between being kind and being too much of a pussy to ask for what you or punish someone though.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 41

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/23/2005 8:55:25 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
Kindness does not equate into being a pussy to me.
It takes a very strong and confident man to be able to be kind, compassionate, caring & fair while being able to still be King. Being kind and ruling with defined lines of expectations and responsibilities is the optimum balance sought out by me in a relationship.
Kindness = Strength not weakness.
Selfish, totalitarian, dictators that are self serving only Doms that are mean and cold, now to me that’s a week immature Dom.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 42

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/23/2005 9:02:12 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Do subs/slaves really respect a Dom who is kind and loving or do they see this as a sign of weakness?

This question leads me to believe that you are living vicariously through your computer and indulging in a fantasy you've created in your head.

Of course we respect kind and loving Doms. I don't know about the rest of you, but if what you are seeking is a tyranical dickhead who will do nothing but beat the crap out of you and drive your self esteem into the ground, you are seeking the wrong thing. What you really need is a therapist and you've misconstrued the two.

Get help if this is what you seek. There's something t e r r i b l y wrong if your idea of a Dominant is just a bastard with toys.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to DiabloLuna)

Post #: 43

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/23/2005 9:50:30 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Just because someone is dominant does not make them less human. Dom/mes can be just as kind as anyone else, and a sub can still respect them just as much as their crueler counterparts.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to DiabloLuna)

Post #: 44

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/23/2005 8:34:42 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

My Master is kind and gentle i don't see that as being weakness. The only time my Master is cruel as if I disobey him or i'm being bratty, and childish

Sicerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 45

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/23/2005 10:00:48 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Kind, loving, cruel, strong, open-minded, intelligent, spiritual, etc. -- it's possible for a wonderfully complex person to embody all of these traits.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 46

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/25/2005 11:03:45 AM

gunship

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

I am one of the kindest doms you will ever meet, yet I am one of the most severe
sadist you will meet. all in one body. being nice isnt a pussy.....its a gentleman or
gracious woman who can show a sub/slave compassion. kindness is usually mistaken
for weakness,and in my case the weakness is my love of delivering severe pain. lol
the Gunship

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 47

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/25/2005 11:21:02 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gunship

I am one of the kindest doms you will ever meet, yet I am one of the most severe
sadist you will meet. all in one body. being nice isnt a pussy.....its a gentleman or
gracious woman who can show a sub/slave compassion. the Gunship

Hello All,
This is my Wonderful Master.
He's one of the most kind men I've ever met, and one of the darkest but sane sadists I've ever met too. That's what I love about him. He can balance pleasure with pain & kindness with ridgid rules and always leave me content and wanting more all at the same time.
I'm such a lucky slave.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to gunship)

Post #: 48

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/25/2005 11:50:26 AM

gunship

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

thank you my sweet slave. I love you and your devotion. I am a lucky Dom!

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 49

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/25/2005 11:51:30 AM

greeneyedangel

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/12/2005
Status: offline

i may be different ( i have been told that many times) but i can't be with a Dom unless he is kind and loving. I was with a Dom who was mentally abusive with a mean streak a mile long and that took a toll on me. To me, a D/s relationship should be kind and loving. Kindness should not be equated with weakness but should be seen as a human emotion shown to a person that is loved and treasured.

_____________________________

the green eyed angel

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

(in reply to DiabloLuna)

Post #: 50

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/3/2005 4:39:27 PM

lbsnuggle

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

i am a sub new to this lifestyle. so i geuss i probably shouldnt post anything but here it goes i have a very loving and caring DOM that is what attracted me to HIM that is one of the reasons i gave HIM my complete trust. dont get me wrong HE is also very strong and DOMANENT i know who in this relationship is in complete control and that is HIM. i am in this relationship to be controled and owned but i also want to be loved. so as far as a loving DOM they are out there becouse i am in complete submision to mine.

(in reply to mossy)

Post #: 51

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/4/2005 5:31:11 AM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lbsnuggle

i am a sub new to this lifestyle. so i geuss i probably shouldnt post anything but here it goes i have a very loving and caring DOM that is what attracted me to HIM that is one of the reasons i gave HIM my complete trust. dont get me wrong HE is also very strong and DOMANENT i know who in this relationship is in complete control and that is HIM. i am in this relationship to be controled and owned but i also want to be loved. so as far as a loving DOM they are out there becouse i am in complete submision to mine.

i have One too. =)

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to lbsnuggle)

Post #: 52

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/4/2005 6:21:58 AM

Aquariansub

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lbsnuggle

post anything you like....I have not been here long either but I have certainly found it very interesting and gained alot of insight as well....welcome I'm sure you'll enjoy.

That is how I was attracted to my dom also and I have never trusted someone like it before....submission I consider is a gift I have to give ....I certainly wouldnt be giving it to someone who wasnt kind .....Kindness is definately not a weakness by any means.

< Message edited by Aquariansub -- 9/4/2005 6:23:50 AM >

(in reply to lbsnuggle)

Post #: 53

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/4/2005 8:57:23 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
Status: offline

quote:

This is my Wonderful Master.
He's one of the most kind men I've ever met, and one of the darkest but sane sadists I've ever met too.

HI! <waving> TY, plantlady, for introducing your Master. Nice to meet you, Gunship.

aww. i'm all sappy for the happy pair

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 54

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/4/2005 9:55:13 AM

Orbital

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiabloLuna

Do subs/slaves really respect a Dom who is kind and loving or do they see this as a sign of weakness?

There's such a very wide variety of reasons why people get into a D/s relationship, so the right recipe of love vs. cruelty and all the various shades in between varies too much to say if something is or isn't good. In your own relationship you and your partner/Master/slave/whatever will have to establish what works best for you. There simply is no such thing as standardization on these values.

I, myself, think that kindness is an irreplaceable human virtue that should never be tossed aside, regardless of your role in a relationship. To that effect, I get disturbed when I see a Dom doing something cruel to his sub - not because it's part of the power dynamic, but because he's working out some personal issue which makes it impossible for him to express kindness. I believe that the cruelty which occurs in a D/s relationship shouldn't a thing in an of itself, but should instead serve to bring greater intimacy, intensity, bonding (figuratively :) ) and love to the dynamic. But, as I said... I'm just speaking for myself. Many others will give differing views.

(in reply to DiabloLuna)

Post #: 55

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/4/2005 1:49:28 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I find it much easier to submit to a Dom who is kind and affectionate. I need to see those traits, along with dominance and agression. I don't enjoy cold people and if I understand that I will get some affection it makes everything I do when I submit more enjoyable.

So yes, there is such a thing as a kind Dom and it's nice when you find it.

(in reply to Orbital)

Post #: 56

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/4/2005 7:37:56 PM

lbsnuggle

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

ok i am back. i was on here last night and placed my oppinion on here. i believe in kind DOM's but please be carefull that kindness sometimes means something else. i seperated frm my DOM today. HIM being my first i trusted HIM w/ evrything in my soul. i had only been w/ HIM for 2 weeks and HE already said HE loved me/owned me/ and already wanted to collar me. yes maybe one day that might be true but not this soon. i might be a sub but i am a strong sub w/ a mind. i am not in this lifestyle to have to take care of a DOM who pretends to be something HE is not.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 57

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/6/2005 7:28:03 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

quote:

This is my Wonderful Master.
He's one of the most kind men I've ever met, and one of the darkest but sane sadists I've ever met too.

HI! <waving> TY, plantlady, for introducing your Master. Nice to meet you, Gunship.

aww. i'm all sappy for the happy pair

Hi Fawne,
Thanks for your note. Especially the part about getting all sticky thinking about us. :-). We likefeeling that way too.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Fawne)

Post #: 58

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/6/2005 8:13:51 AM

subcheryl

Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: comesoncommand

A Dominant can be kind and still be Dominant...but when they cater and pamper a slave, i might argue the slave could be topping from below.

I am not sure I read this in the context you meant, so let me know if I misinterpretted it, and if I did I am sorry ahead of time. I agree with the first part of your statement that a Dom/Master can be kind and still be dominate, but the second part of them cattering and pampering a slave I don't, now that is depending on how you meant it. There are times that my Master caters to me or pampers me, esp. if I have a migraine or am not feeling very well, yes he is a soft Master, but I beleive that he knows just what I need in my life at the moment, that isn't to say that I don't have requirements and such made of me, but he also knows my past history, that of living the life basically being the dominate person in my marriage and vanilla life, and really am a submissive at heart, he knows that life hasn't been easy for me, he knows other than my boys, that no one cared about how I felt or what I needed, they only cared of what they could get from me, in his way he is getting my devotion and love, by being caring and looking out for my needs, to attending to lifes hassles when I just can't anymore, so if this is catering and pampering I am glad and needful of it at times in my life but in no way do I top from the bottom, he just reconizes the times I need emotionally for him to do this for me, I never ask for anything for myself and alot of times will not share my valnerbilities/insecure feelings, he usually has to drag the problem out of me, I have had to deal with a whole lot and figure I can do it myself, till it finally overwhelms me and I am close to shutting down. Sorry I hope I made sense and haven't rambled but I think that a Dom/Master can be caring, soft, yet rule his domaine, there is nothing wrong with it and sometimes us subs/slaves don't even realize that this is something that we need, I think of it as being charished and nurtured, and another way for the inner me to grow. Yes I think that the longer you suppress some basic needs in your life, it takes alot to set it free, having led the life of a dominate person most of my life, it is hard at times to really truely feel I am submissive to Master, it is hard for me to turn control or trust at times totally over to him, but we are realatively young in our relationship, so know that with him will fully find that side of me in time,

(in reply to comesoncommand)

Post #: 59

RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 9/7/2005 12:01:43 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I find it much easier to submit to a Dom who is kind and affectionate. I need to see those traits, along with dominance and agression. I don't enjoy cold people and if I understand that I will get some affection it makes everything I do when I submit more enjoyable.

So yes, there is such a thing as a kind Dom and it's nice when you find it.

i feel the same way ...i can only submit to a loving, yet controlling ect Dom. when i met Master, His awesomeness was such that i was able to free the slave i am inside ~yet never experienced before Him.
it was because of His wonderful ways i learned to gradually let go of all past issues and become a better person for it. changed me completely, i can't believe it myself sometimes how different i am for knowing Him.
.....thats my experience to share here. so i say yes, there is such a thing as a kind of Dom, i've met several before He found me. i met all kinds of Doms having certain preferences and such. .....at least that's my story.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: any such thing as a kind dom?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078